A letter for Katherine

Far in the distance, close to the forest, stood a deer, chewing on the icy leaves. I could see through the window how the snow fell on her thick brown fur coat. Her eyes were wide open, she was on high alert. I wondered if she could see me from where she stood. She took off. Something must have happened. Shame. For a brief six minutes she was the only friend I had. The only other living creature. My thoughts were turning as cold as the snow falling outside. My head hurt and I could not understand why at first but then I saw my own reflection in the window. I was bleeding. Not much, just a little. I wondered where Luna went. You must think I’m crazy, but I named the deer Luna. I turned away from the window and tried to familiarize myself with house once again but failed to recognize anything. On the coffee table was envelope addressed to Katherine and weird vase with a lid. I wondered who Katherine was and I why did I not know her. Maybe I need to warm up, get some coffee or soup, anything would help. Or wait, maybe I need to find some aspirin first. I reached for the kettle and saw my hands were slightly bruised. There were small cuts all over and drops of blood. ‘What on earth happened to me? It was deja vu. I remembered asking myself the same question five minutes ago. But I think I need to ask a more serious question, one I have been avoiding for some time now. Who am I? I could hear a flock birds suddenly emerge from the forest and into the sky. Strange, I could not see anyone approaching. Maybe, I’m not sure, but maybe Luna had something to do with it. Coffee, that’s right. I forgot I was about to make coffee. Am I always this forgetful? Or is it because my head hurts. Aspirin? Where in this house can I find an aspirin? I don’t even know who lives here, am I an intruder? I needed to find answers. I need to make the damn coffee but my hands hurt, my body hurts. ‘ Oh God , what is happening to me? The earth suddenly went dark and was I gasping for air. I woke up on the kitchen floor, sobbing and still alone. I pulled my aching body up against the chair and guided myself to the sofa, clinging onto every piece of furniture in my way. Once on the couch, I realized something about the house. It was an old Victorian home. Not too old not too modern, just cozy, homely and it made me feel safe. I wondered if the owners would soon arrive. They would probably have me arrested for trespassing but maybe, maybe, they would be kindhearted people that would help me find out what happened to me. Coffe, I remembered again. No, I will not get up again, I should stay put until the owners arrived. I closed my eyes praying the pain would stop. I could feel myself drifting off. It felt like a deep coma. I was back at the window, gazing at the snow falling from the sky. Luna was there, looking at me, she seemed angry at me. She began walking towards me, slowly picking up her pace, faster and faster and faster. I was scared, I couldn’t move and Luna was closing in on me so fast I begged her to stop , yelling, Luna NO! But it was too late, She plunged at me through the glass so fast I felt the splinters pouring on me, cutting my forehead. Her body was stuck in the glass, bleeding and so was I. I woke up screaming. It was just a dream. A very realistic one but thank God it was just a dream. My mouth was dry and I felt an unbearable thirst. How is it possible that I never managed to get that coffee, simply ridiculous. I slowly got up, double checking the window just to make sure it really was just a dream, walked to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. It went down like mother’s milk, every single drop.And then, my eye caught the envelop, the one addressed to Katherine. Curiosity got the better of me and I teared open the envelope with my agonized fingers, scanning through the letter like mad person. ‘Dear Katherine. By the time you read this I would be nothing but dust in a jar. Means I lost my battle with the cancer. Please don’t cry child, it just means I would be in a better place. I’m tired, tired of the pain, tired of the chemo and being nothing but a burden to everyone. My body needs to rest, I need to rest. Take my remains to the Lake house, spread my ashes in the lake, if it’s frozen, do it anyway. It’s my last wish, to be at peace. I pray you find peace as well. Take care of yourself and always be happy. Love, your mother, Susan.’ I felt the urge to sob. It was so depressing. I felt sorry for both of these women whoever they were. Maybe that’s her ashes in vase thing i saw earlier, maybe Katherine would show up soon and take me to the hospital. I needed too find some aspirin, Dammit, wait, maybe in the bathroom cabinet. As I walked down the corridor towards the bathroom I could feel the tinnitus in my ear volume up almost deafening me. Everything went dark once again. I was back at the window, gazing out. Everything was the same but this time I felt tired, extremely tired. I could see Luna in a distance, vaguely, but she was there, staring at me. She came at me again, faster and faster and faster and once again plunged through the window with immense force, breaking the glasses into a million pieces. I could feel the blood dripping from my face. I could hear a woman calling ‘Katherine!’. I woke up, lying on the floor. I remembered everything. My name is Katherine. I drove up to the lake house to full fill my mother’s last wish. It was a long road, it was dark and it was snowing. I was tired of the long drive, my eyes were tearing up. I could see the deer approaching, it was too late to stop and Bang! She plunged through my windscreen. I lost control of the car and drove into tree. I don’t know how long I sat in that car but I woke up to a deer licking my face. I struggled my way out, sobbing and grunting from the pain. I remembered take the vase and the letter, forcing myself towards the house. The key was under little welcome mat. I unlocked the door with the intent to call an ambulance but i only managed to put the letter and my mother’s ashes on the coffee table. After that I must have lost consciousness. I was out till this morning. I got up from the bathroom floor and found myself an aspirin and took it with water. Finally, I was getting somewhere. I needed to get my phone in the car call for help. But first I need to do what I came here for, I then took my mom‘s ashes, walked on the frozen lake. As I spread her ashes as she requested, I prayed for her soul and said my goodbyes. She was right, she in a much better place now.