A Full Life

Stella used her spare key to enter the small dark and cluttered apartment. When she would come to visit, she would always tell Natalie she needed a bigger place. More room to move around. Natalie would always say, “I’m only one person despite the many voices in my head and this is all the room we need,” and she would always laugh out loud with her big brown eyes glowing with such happiness. Natalie loved when Stella came to visit. It gave her the opportunity to share her new adventure or hobby if you could call it that. Natalie moved from one hobby to the other before you could blink an eye, so calling it a hobby could be a stretch.

    Cleaning out Natalie’s apartment was the last thing on her list while she was in town for the funeral. She wanted to keep some of the things that reminded her of her sister along with items her sister cherished. Stella didn’t know if this part would be more painful than the funeral, but she hoped for some closure of sorts, not that she wouldn’t grieve the loss of her sister for the rest of her life. Natalie was all she had left. Their parents had died years ago and even though they lived far apart, Stella tried to visit as often as she could. Her and Natalie were both divorced and neither thought it a good idea to remarry so both had settled for the single life. Natalie found that keeping herself busy was also what kept her sane, so she would say. As far as Stella was concerned, TV and reading kept her sane. She didn’t have the energy for adventures and hobbies.

    The apartment felt cold and empty. No life to be found. The herbs and plants had already died which was probably for the best. Stella lacked a green thumb unlike her sister who could grow anything. She remembered when Natalie called her so excited and asked, “Guess what I’m growing?” and Stella with a serious voice asked, “Marijuana?” Natalie started laughing that beautiful laugh of hers and said no silly, “An herb garden.” She went on to tell her about the fresh basil, oregano, sage, rosemary, and lavender. The herb garden was the last thing Natalie had ventured into before leaving this earth. She wanted to grow things as her life was slipping away. She didn’t even know Natalie was sick so she could come and take care of her. Stella got the call two weeks ago from the hospital letting her know her sister had stage four cancer with just a few days to live. Stella was floored to say the least. It had only been about six months since her last visit and Natalie looked great. Full of life.

    Stella felt overcome with exhaustion and made her way to the bedroom to retrieve the extra pillow and blanket from the closet. The room was in disarray which was unusual for Natalie but of course it was just a sign of how Natalie was feeling in the weeks leading up to her death. Stella opened the closet and grabbed the pillow and blanket from the top shelf. The blanket was a light gray crocheted blanket that Natalie had made two years prior. It was the only thing she learned how to make before giving it up crocheting. It looked beautiful even with the small imperfections made by someone new to the craft. Stella decided as she laid on the couch covered in the warmth of the blanket that this was surly something she wanted to keep.

    When Stella’s eyes opened the next morning, she immediately felt dread over having such a daunting task to complete. How do you pick the important items to keep and part with the rest? At least what she wasn’t keeping would go to charity to help others in need. Natalie would approve. As Stella got up and turned on the lamp next to the couch, she looked around the living room to gage where she should start. It was a small living room packed with so many things, but Natalie had it well organized. Stella decided to make coffee and start with the bookshelves.

    Natalie had gone through a phase of collecting first editions. She had managed to procure first editions by Steven King and Ann Rice who were her favorite authors. Stella liked to read but her taste was far different than Natalie’s. Stella loved romance novels and a good mystery occasionally. Natalie also had numerous cookbooks that she had purchased after seeing the movie Julie & Julia, which inspired her to learn how to cook. Stella decided to keep all the first editions and two cookbooks. She then packed the rest of the cookbooks along with random books that filled the shelves and marked them for pickup.

    Plastic containers were stacked neatly against the wall containing a well-organized stamp collection which included a used Penny Black, the first postage stamp from 1840. Along with the Penny Black, Natalie’s collection covered all sorts of holiday stamps, famous people, and different events. It was a large collection, but she would buy in bulk from the Post Office, catalogs, and online. The rest of the containers were Natalie’s coins. She collected all coins, but wheat pennies dominated her collection by far which also included 1943 steel pennies. Stella decided to keep both collections. She could see herself possible getting into knowing more about stamps and coins.

    After clearing out the living room, Stella moved to the bedroom where she got on her hands and knees to pull plastic containers from under the bed. Yes, Natalie had a Barbie doll collection. Her collection was special because it included the first Barbie ever made in 1959. This Barbie was not the first in her collection though. She had already been collecting the Holiday Barbie. The fun must have fizzled out after purchasing that first Barbie because Natalie moved on to Bird watching and took a trip to the Florida Everglades after she bought an expensive pair of binoculars. Stella wanted to keep the first Barbie and decided the rest could go to charity along with the binoculars. Bird watching was not Stella’s thing.

    As Stella moved through the apartment, she realized that Natalie had a full life. She may have moved from one hobby to the next but that made her a well-rounded person. She learned something new each time she took on a new hobby and she was a better happier person for it. Stella could only hope to be as happy and full of life as her sister was. Maybe when she returns homes, she too can pick a hobby and move forward with life and remember her sister for who she was and that was a woman who wanted to learn and live.