Next Comes Another Love

Anne absentmindedly turned off her phone and weakly leaned on the counter separating her apartment’s receiving area and kitchen. She could not believe what Vienne, her bestfriend said on the phone. She shook her head. Surely, Tyler would not betray her trust. He would not betray their love.

    She dialed Tyler’s number. First ring. Second. Third. No one was answering. Should she call his office? No. She didn’t want to. What if Tyler confirmed her fears? Could she take the pain, the despair? She could not! She had invested too much in their relationship. Maybe she would wait for some time and pretend that there was nothing wrong. That’s right, she could just pretend that everything was as it was what appeared in their picture beside the TV set, that both of them were still in love.

She was about to go to bed and sleep over her doubts when her mind screamed “No!” She had to talk to Tyler today no matter what the result would be. She had to clear things up with him. She looked at the phone, grabbed it and after a moment of hesitation dialed his office number.  

At the first ring, it was answered by Tyler’s secretary. Tyler was in a business meeting.

    She closed her eyes and dejectedly thought back of their recent conversations yet her mind could not recreate any of these. When was the last time that they sat together for a banter or a heart-to-heart talk? When did they last shared some intimacy? Was it a month ago? Or was it two weeks ago? She admitted to herself that was always busy in the university as a researcher, willingly and joyously exhausting her body and mind so she could catch up with Tyler’s success. Yet she would always find time to call, visit him and at times cook for him, things she found joy doing. 

Tyler at the age of 32 was already a hotel manager which made his family a source of envy among their peers. Tyler’s family was very particular with their in-laws; those who had no good family background or who could not bring glory to their family were either rejected or discarded. It was because of this that in their seven years of relationship, she had not even shaken hands with Tyler’s parents. 

    Whenever she asked Tyler about meeting his parents, he would always offer excuses which she would always accept. She sighed and smiled bitterly. The signs were there. But a gullible fool she was, she kept believing and hoping that their relationship will have a fairy tale ending. But then, not all fairy tales ended up with the prince and the princess being together. Moreover, she had never been a princess, even in a school play. 

    She thought of their interaction. Tyler was never the expressive type but she knew he cared for her. Otherwise, will their relationship last long? With their relationship being that long, it was impossible that Tyler had never loved her, wasn’t it? A flicker of hope rose in her heart. 

    She frantically grabbed her bag and keys. She had to see Tyler tonight even if she had to scour the city or camp in his apartment.

Tyler’s apartment was a 30-minute drive from her house. Since she was more or less living in the university – clocking in at 8 in the morning and leaving almost midnight, it was convenient for her to stay near the university. Tyler, on the other hand, was living near the hotel he was working at. 

    Upon reaching his apartment, she noticed that the lights were still off. She opened the door using her own keys. When did she last come here? She looked around and looked for changes and clues. A picture of them similar to what was in her apartment was still on the wall. 

She glanced at the wall clock. 10:15. She dialed his number. Still no answer.

    She could not shake off the fear and insecurity. Call it woman’s instinct, but she knew, her relationship with Tyler was at the verge of crumbling. Unconsciously, a pair of tear escaped from her eyes while pain shot through her chest. She inhaled and tried to calm herself while silently praying that her love will not end like how her parents’ love story concluded.  

    She did not know how long she had sat on the couch, and when she fell asleep. She was awakened by the sound of the knob turning. She immediately sprang up and dashed to the door. She could see Tyler’s surprise when she saw her. They stood looking at each other not knowing what to say to each other.

    Anne felt her heart break. This was not how a man looked at the woman he loved. Nonetheless, she smiled and tiptoed to place a kiss on Tyler’s cheek. At least, he did not refuse her kiss. 

    “How was work?” she asked.

    Tyler walked towards the receiving area without speaking. She was frozen on the spot. Was this how it would end? 

    Outside, she was calm, but she was breaking inside. She agonizingly followed Tyler and watched him before her trembling knees made her sit opposite him. Time passed. Tyler kept his head down. Knowing how to read clues, she was certain, it was time to say goodbye.

    “Where did we go wrong?” she asked silently trying her damnedest not to break down yet doing her best to make her voice sound unaffected.  

    Tyler did not answer. He simply glanced at her. A flash of guilt passed his eyes before he looked away.

    “I’m sorry, Anne.” No explanations just a simple “I’m sorry.”

    She was expecting it, but it still hurt hearing him say it out loud. Her world crashed. Her dreams vanished. She smiled while tears once more found their way out. Anne looked at his face trying to memorize his face– the laugh lines near his eyes, his male brows, his aquiline nose, his strong jaw, the thin lips. She wanted to see the color of his eyes but his head remained turned away. 

    She stood and slowly walked towards Tyler. She hesitated before she sat beside him and placed her head on his shoulder. 

    “I don’t blame you, Ty. I think I’m not yet good enough to secure your heart for you to face an adversity called family. Perhaps it’s good that this happened early. There are no kids, no marriage. Only a broken heart and a fool’s shattered dreams. We can part amiably.” Anne kept smiling, trying to make her voice as happy as she could. But God, she wanted to hide in a corner and weep like the sun will never shine again.

    “Anne –"

    She stood immediately and distanced herself from him. She did not want to listen to his reasons. No matter what he would say, it would hurt, terribly hurt her. She swallowed a sob, then stood tall, her back rigid. “Goodbye, Tyler. May we never see each other again.” Then she left without turning back.

    With unsteady legs, she walked away from her dream, from her painful love story. 

    She did not know how she reached home and what happened last night. When she woke up the next morning, she saw that there were several unanswered calls on her phone. Most were from Vienne and her department head. She looked at the time. It was noon, half past 12. She smiled bitterly as she recalled what had transpired last night. So this was how heartbreak felt. Her chest felt hurt and hollow, but she was still alive, breathing. 

    Singing, she took a long shower yet at a time her tears suddenly flowed out mixing with the water. She laughed hysterically then slid down, hugging her knees while crying her heart out. Her seven years of sincerity and younger years were gone just like that – with the words “I’m sorry.” What did she ever do wrong? 

    No, she never did anything wrong! She was not cherished and her sincerity was taken for granted. She stood from crouching and dried her tears. She made up her mind. She would face the world with smile. Seven years may be gone, but she decided that she would live up to a hundred to chase after happiness. 

    Healing a broken heart, she knew would not take a day. She might cross paths with Tyler or hear news of him getting married to the woman chosen by his parents and she might still hurt or might silently cry. But that would surely pass. 

As she looked back, in her seven years of relationship with Tyler, her world not only revolved around him – he was her world. She had loved him and planned her future with him. Perhaps that was her biggest mistake. In the next time that she loved, she would live in the moment, loving carefree, and leaving everything to fate. She would be straight forward and love with her eyes wide open. And perhaps the heavens would take pity on her and grant her a man who would be cherish her or at least a little brave to fight for her. 

    Indeed, this world was still full of possibilities and a lifetime happiness might just be waiting at the crossroads.

She looked at the mirror, smiled at the solemn and beautiful image reflected on the mirror, then whispered “Let’s go, Anne and chase after our happiness!”