Weight of change

Change. Change can be scary. Some changes can be small, like switching morning cereals. Some change can be convenient, like going to the coffee shop closer to work. Some change can completely change how people see us. This change can be anxiety producing. It is different for different people. For some changing coffee shops is easy, for others it can completely ruin their routine. Change for some can be overwhelming. Some change is inevitable and some within our control. For one young woman, the change she made was so major for her, it was hard to handle.

Different, conflicting thoughts swirled in her head, unsure if she was doing was she really wanted. She knew that she had thought long and hard about it. She had the idea ready. She had done her research. Still, the idea of a modification of this magnitude scared her.

A bright neon sign pierced her eyes. She stared at the sign for a while. Taking it all in. The choice she was about to make. She paced back and forth, unsure if she should continue with her decision. She ket out a large sigh and with a hesitant attidue, she entered the building. Her shoes clacked upon the tile floor. Her breathing, deep and filled with nervous energy. Her hands were becoming sweaty. She was greeted by a lovely receptionist. A woman, with long blonde hair and fair skin greeted the woman. Her voice was light and soft. The receptionists demeanor helped to ease the woman but her was nothing can could alleviate the tension within her. This wasn't just another day. This was a day of transformation.

After waiting for what felt like hours, thoigh it was only 10 minutes, the receptionists tell her that they are ready. The wiman slowly stands from couch in the front and makes her way over. She continued to walk through until she finally reached a small leather chair. As she sat down, her hands gripped the arm rests tightly. She looked look upon herself in the mirror. A small wave of shock enveloped her for she knew that is was the last time she would look like this. As she came to grips with her fate, she noticed a man approaching her.

He was a tall, well dress man, with olive skin and a curly black mustache. He had a deep and jubilant voice. She didn't know if she was unsettled by him or what she was about to go through. So he knew what to do he asked her for her plans. She hurried searched through her phone for the idea she had. When she found what she was looking for, she gave her phone to the man. He looked upon the picture the woman displayed with a puzzled look. He knew that is was a major irreversible change. He double checked with the woman to make sure it was truly what she wanted. This didn't nothing to aide her with her nervousness. She took a few moments a breathe. With a lump in her throat she meakly assures him that it is what she wants.

He placed the jet black cloak upon her body. This sort of relieved the woman. It also meant the man could not see her figiting hands. She still unsure of her choice. He pulled out his instruments and with a swift movement and careful precision, removed a part of her body. It was now, that they had reached the point of no return. He gently placed the removed part upon her lap, informing her, she had just lost 3kg of weight. As she stare at the part of the body she had lost, it took all the strength within her to not shed a tear.

Little bit by little bit her removed more of her, letting the little pieces fall to the tile floor. With every little piece that fell, with every stroke of the man's instrument, the lighter the woman felt.

The woman looked upon herself in the mirror again, seeing how she looked. She looked so different to the woman who had walked into this place. It os like she become someone new. After checking over his work, the man removed the cloak, letting the woman know the job was done. A deep sigh of relief fell over the woman. This change was not as bad as she had thought. In this mirror she look beautiful. She felt beautiful. A feeling she hadn't felt in a long time.

This feeling was soon shattered. For the mirror was perfect, pristine. It was designed to help people feel beautiful. It showed a better version than what the truth really was. The reflection in the window told a different story. She had wanted to look like an influencer, someone famous who brought joy and has a cool attitude. She wanted to look like a person others envied. Instead, when she looked at her reflection in the window, she saw someone who uses expired coupons and asks for the manager. In her mind She looked like every stereotype of a "soccer mom" despite being a childless 26 year old.

While coming to this realization, of what she looked like now, a deep depression sunk in. There was a huge regret for the change she had made. She kindly paid the hairdresser for his service and left the salon in a hurry. She made it her mission to avoid anything reflective on the way back to her car. She couldn't stand the sight of it. She knew she would have to wait a long time to regain the weight of hair she had lost. So long, to look like her old self. It was 3kg of hair but such a massive change weighted so much more. Over time she got used to all her hair not being there. People complemented it and seemed to really like it. She slowly grew to enjoy her new look, even if when it was new, it caused a huge amount of sadness, stress and self-doubt.

Getting a haircut that can drastically reduce ones self-esteem, those days are really bad hair days.