My Greedy Secret

"I have something to tell you," I whispered lustfully, pressing my forehead into his chest. I could feel the warmth of his gray sweater as his smell made it's way to my nose. His blue eyes light up at the thought of finding out my secrets. How many times has he asked me to spill some tea. I hated that expression, spill the tea or was it spill the T? I seemed to be way behind the trendy sayings these days. I can't say I love my secret, but on the other hand, I can't say I hated it either. It just became who I am, it took over my life and I didn't want to stand in it's way. It took root and grew a new found confidence, along with clear justification for the rage I held so closely. Secrets should be locked away, without an escape as we can not trust anyone with the memory of knowing our details. Sometimes, good secrets are meant to be shared and celebrated, or kept under wraps until it's time to shine. Those to me, however, was just like sharing good news. It wasn't a real or meaningful secret. A bad secret should leave their ears tingling and craving more. My secret, could be called evil with a twist of revenge, which puts it in a wicked class of its own. I never have to tell them, but I always do, it's the least I could do, and I don't mind if they are unconscious when I do finally spill the tea/T.

I wasn't an open book, my thoughts and feelings weren't everyone's to read. "I know you want to know," I found his eyes blinking, trying to stay awake, I ran my fingers through his blond curls, trying to coax him deeper into the weight of the drugs I put in his coffee. His mind, like all the other's went straight to dirty places, which happens sense I take pride in my seductive talents. This is where I like to take my time, my secret could wake him up if I was impatient. There's no fun in a hasty approach, it actually can cause an upset. It took years for my secret to unravel for me, all the how-to's, tips of the trade and the willingness to learn from my own mistakes has proven to give me the safe getaway advantage, with just a few close calls. There was no way I was going to rush this process for them, they were playing my game that I have to win.

My secret have hidden messages, like clues to a treasure hunt. The prize is sometimes right in front of their eyes but they don't want to take the time to notice. They lose the whole experience of my secret by focusing on the wrong details and being blindsided.

He slowly twists his neck and wants to kiss me but he can't lift his chin. "Yes? Tell mmmm, he slurs.

I keep my face close to his, "oh, baby, I can't wait to tell you. I am feeling so naughty."

I lean my body into him, making him relax into the waiting loveseat. His head dips and his eyes jump back to reality for a second. He smiles at me, "naughty. I love nauuugggtttttyyyyyy." He sinks down letting the grogginess take over.

I lay the fleece navy blue blanket over his slumped shoulders and tucked the corner into the taupe leather. Eyes are motionless, face muscles go slack, "Yes, baby, I have a naughty little secret to tell you." His cheeks are rosy and he lets out a snore.

"Please believe me when I tell you all this. I am so very sorry, I almost think I would have been okay living here with you. But, just okay isn't worth it for me, baby. I have this problem, I haven't been able to stop. You'll understand as soon as you wake up and see what my devastating behavior has done. You'll be missing some of your favorite and finest things....so sad.... and you'll obviously be missing me. I will be long gone, out of your way so you can rebuild your worth. You got that rich Grandfather, who adores you. Ask him to help you. You'll heal up fine. This theft won't kill you. I felt better after seeing your insurance policy and it will cover most of what I take," I brag as I put on my hazmat suit, face covered, gloved and cloth slip ons over my favorite slippers.

I hum whatever song is stick in my head, I would turn on my Apple Itunes but I don't want to miss any sounds that my ex may make while he sleeps off a dozy cocktail of sedatives. I am ready to to through his belongings, every in and out of sturdy log cabin home, his safe nailed to the pine wall and floor, his bedside drawers, his desk, dressers, filing cabinets, lock boxes under the master bed and every closet and shelf. I find the four full glass bottles filled with quarters, the stash of $25,000 cash for emergencies, your wallet's hidden pouch of five hundred bills, and gift cards galore. I stick the bills and gift cards in my pocket that zippers shut. I can't afford to lose what I have worked so hard to take, I giggle. I take what I need--but mostly want to have. I knew better to grab credit or debit cards, to easy to trace and with stores and gas stations having camera systems, it would be so foolish. I am smart at this. I have this down now. I use his fabric shopping bags from the pantry to haul out my new goods.

I start to panic as he shifts his weight deeper in to the cushions. I stop in my tracks and hold my breath. You absently shake your hair out of your eyes. You don't wake up and dream on. "Finally ready for my goodbye secret," I say quietly in his direction. "I made our paths cross, I set you up, I make myself into your type. Dressed in jeans and cowgirl boots, made Sunday brunch in your t-shirts, I cooked beef stew and learned to make a mean pot roast. I tracked your loose cash and memorized your safe passcode. I even drank your crappy beer, listened to your honky tonk music, I tended fence, I watered your cows and threw hay into your pastures. I was the one, your prefect soulmate, and this 3 carat brilliant round diamond engagement ring I found in the lock box proves it."

I grab up the last of my steal and shove your Grandma Irene's earrings, necklace and brooch into my bag. I look around and thought of what could have been, winced, "farm life isn't for me, sorry to say. Good luck Cowboy and thank you." I left him behind without us and our future.

I bleached and scrubbed every inch of this farm house, I even cleaned out the shower drain, I made a pile of burnables to set fire to anything with my DNA. Everything is dealt with, burned, washed, shredded, pulled apart, broken, drenched with acid or taken with me. It's painstaking work, but I know I need to do it. Even his clothes could have my hair or other DNA intertwined, the dryer lint trap and hose is vacuumed out and the vacuum comes with me, which I donate to Goodwill before I fly out for the next secret.

I pull out of his long gravel driveway, past the barns and the cows. "I think I will go some place warm, on a beach for sure this time. No farm or animals for a while. An all exclusive resort or cruise would be ideal," I say to myself. "Gotta find the next willing victim who will hear my secret." I turn on the radio and haul ass to the highway. I sometimes don't dose 'em quite right, it's a science and it takes some big goofs to master it. I have been chased a time or two, so he will find his tires slashed if he does wake up. I also want them to wake up. My secret couldn't handle murder. I also have to be so careful with my burn piles, nosy neighbors knock on the door or call 911. What a pain.

I head to Mexico, I am a blonde this time, with a layered bob, a fresh type, lost 10 pounds not eating beef every day too. I bought new bikinis, sundresses, flipflops, sun hat, sunblock and a few new thriller fiction books. I purposely book a expensive cabin of the singles cruise ship. I have to stop the gold digger thoughts right away. All my secrets worry about a sexy beautiful woman stealing all their money, so I even treat in the beginning. My first job is to capture their attention and interest, and take their concerns seriously. If they want to keep their grubby hands on their money and don't want to be a trusting new lover--I am out. I will enjoy the cruise and whatever I can get from him and this vacation, but I will just move on. It just was't meant to be but I will punish them and they will be driven crazy by my teasing and taunting but they won't fully get the prize from me. My sexual torment will make a selfish man grovel and I usually get my way.

The first evening of the cruise, I have printed itineraries of #1's, 2's and #3's cruise plans, appointments, rentals and reservations. I gave the pretty brunette social director a nice token for this information, Grandma's Irene's earrings. She also threw in their personal facts, contacts, medical history, and their check list of what their personal match may be--what they wanted to find on this singles cruise. After doing my research, I made my way to the ship's five-star restaurant and found my reserved seat kiddie corner from #1. A tiny delicate silk handkerchief dabs my eyes from time to time, hoping he will notice. Which of course he does. I knew he would, I size him up, a mid-fifties, good looking, slightly graying finance guy who loves sincere athletic women, who isn't afraid to feel life's emotions, who needs to be present and have fun, who is a real thinker, loves music and dancing, wears her heart on her sleeve, loves her family, who can laugh at myself and has her own money.

He is here to celebrate his new divorce. He also told the social director that his butler is his contact person because he is a little embarrassed being here on a single cruise. I carefully turned into his dream girl, I decided to show him that I am a real feeler and I don't have to work hard to be his physical type, I think he started to drool. I was a tearful sexy young lady who recently lost her father, and I am looking for a fun distraction.

We both sip on the same while wine, waiting for our seafood dinners. He pretends not to look my way. We go through the dinner mingle requests, introduce yourself and ask one question. By the time dessert coffee comes, we have made serious eye contact, I dab my eyes as he asks me to have a drink at the bar. Loud dance music blares out of the speakers, and the tables clear out and the singles head to the dance flood. "You look like you could use a quieter place to enjoy a drink with me."

"You know? I actually love to dance. Are you sure you want to miss all that fun?" I scanned the dance floor, raising my hand towards the singles.

"Well, I couldn't help but to notice you are crying. I thought you might need a break away from so many new faces.... But, I would love to lead you to the dance floor too. You are too beautiful to be sad, by the way," he looked at me in a caring way.

He likes being the hero, I thought. I pause, then make my way to the bar stools. He follows like a puppy. I take a breath and slowly tell #1 my made up story, "my Dad, he passed away a couple weeks ago. Cancer. I got to be with him to the end. On his death bed, he made me promise that I would come on this singles cruise, with my best friend. He arranged to pay first class everything, but I actually donated the money to his church instead. I bought our tickets, after my friend pestered me to go. I didn't think I could come, honestly. I was embarrassed to do one of these. I have been so busy opening my gyms in the US that my dating and social life has really suffered. Want to hear something funny? I asked him, while I gazed in his hazel eyes.

"Yes," he says as he places his hand on mine, "I'm so sorry for your loss, I can tell you love your dad every much."

I take his hand and gently hold it. "Don't laugh at me...okay?"

"I won't," he tenderly squeezed my fake tanned fingers.

I lean in towards him, "My emergency contact, is..." I look around the bar area so make sure no one else can hear me, selling this lie. ".....my maid. I couldn't tell anyone else... Can you imagine me explaining that my Dad, who was on a high dose of pain killers, on his death bed, makes his only daughter promise to come on a single cruise?! God, oh then...my best friend misses her first class flight and texts me she can't make the next flight because she hit it off with her Uber Driver. So, I have a huge luxury suit to myself. Thanks Dad," I mock look up to the Heavens, and giggle. "And to think--after all that I almost didn't come."

This attractive wealthy man, named #1, would soon know my secret, smiled, held my chin tenderly with his hand and said, "I am so happy you did."