Eyes like the blue blue sea

‘Oh, Louise, will you look at your gorgeous granddaughter there. Hasn’t she got eyes like the blue, blue sea?’ 

‘I haven’t got eyes like the blue, blue sea. They’re green.’ I would reply to Sister Etna as a very honest nine-year-old. 

‘Oh, it must be your sisters’ eyes then.’ continued Sister Etna in her soft southern Irish tongue.

‘Well Louise hasn’t she got eyes like the green, green fields of home?’

When she turned to my brother Jimmy who was five at the time, he would say ‘my eyes are brown like poo.’

‘Oh god bless him; he’s quite the entertainer isn’t he Louise? God bless him and God bless you all.’

It’s funny the things you remember as a child. Every summer, Sister Etna, a ‘real live nun’ from the Convent of the Holy Ghost in Bedford would come and stay with my granny Louise or ‘Lulu’ for at least a month. Sister Etna was a tiny figure of a lady with a face like she’d woken up from a nightmare, but she had a very kind heart. Lulu would panic in the build up to her visit worried that she wouldn’t have enough whiskey and fags to last the duration. Lulu would comment ‘there’s only so much I can fit in my shopping trolley’ so she was pleased both of her daughters had cars they could fill up with supplies. ‘She can really put the Jameson’s away’ Lulu would say and then my mum and aunt would say ‘it’s incredible, where does she put it? She’s tiny.’

Lulu had been brought up in the Welsh valleys as a Roman Catholic and was dedicated to her faith. I often wondered if Lulu thought she would earn more ‘holy points’ by revealing that her son was a Catholic priest at every chance she got. ‘He trained in Rome, you know’ she would say at coffee after mass each week.

Lulu had met Sister Etna in Bedford where she had been spent most of her life. When Etna was visiting, Lulu said she’d come downstairs every morning to find Etna kneeling in the living room with a statue of the crucifix in front of her saying her prayers. She’d always wear the same ‘nuns costume’ as my brother Jimmy used to say. She wore a navy dress and a navy cardigan and had a very thin Mac when she went out to run errands for Lulu. She would clean out cupboards/ do all the jobs that Lulu didn’t want to do, and in the afternoon together they would bake all sorts of delicious fatty goodies while nursing a small tipple. My brother used to groan ‘oh I don’t want to go and see the nun today. Can’t we just watch cartoons?’ when he knew Etna was staying. He usually got out of it and mum used to use ‘sport’ as an excuse, but mum would force my sister and I to go and get ‘chatty’. 

I don’t know why I thought of Etna just now. Maybe because I’m lying on my bed in Trapani, Sicily and looking at all the crucifixes on the walls in my room. When I moved here, Kelly said ‘you can take those down you know. I had three in my room. I don’t want to look at him and all his judgement while I’m enjoying a bit of Davido's sausage.’ I had started to enjoy Kelly’s crass demeanour. It was quite endearing. I didn’t tell her that I was catholic as I was used to keeping my faith to myself and quite frankly wasn’t sure where I stood on the topic. It certainly hadn’t been deemed cool at school, but I was starting to realise that the Sicilians I had met so far were proud of their faith. Pietro had taken me to the local catholic church a few weeks ago and I was surprised to see that they had an open confession where you could chat to the priest outside of the traditional confessional box. All I could think was that it must be impossible to have any privacy or secrets in this town.

I had just started reading Ian McEwan’s Enduring Love when I got a tap at my bedroom door. 

‘Chop chop’ Kelly said. ‘You need to start getting ready. The boys will be here soon.’

‘I know but I’m keeping it casual.’

‘Why don’t you wear that lovely black dress…you know the sexy one you wore to the Christmas party.’

‘Oh no, I was thinking top and chinos.’

‘Oh, come on.’

One of the students at the language school, Mario had offered to cook for us tonight with his friend Francesco. I didn’t know anything about Francesco, but Mario said he was fun, and I didn’t feel I could get out of it.

Just as I was finishing my chapter, Luke messaged to say, ‘Ok to call now?’

‘Of course,’

‘Hey nutkin, how are you?’

‘Oh, fine thanks. How are you? How are Eddie and Chris?

‘They’re good thanks. We’re just heading out for a curry and beers, but I wanted to hear your voice before we went.’

My boyfriend Luke was currently living at his parents’ house in Bristol after his own adventure to Africa had finished prematurely. A mixture of naivety and larium had led Luke to experience such shocking paranoia that he said he woke up each day expecting it to be his last and as such had decided to head back home. His travel companion, Dave was determined to continue which Luke thought was ‘fucking nuts’.

As a getaway from his parents, Luke had gone to see his friends Eddie and Chris in Oxford for the weekend. Eddie was finishing up his PhD in physics while also pursuing unattainable girls. Eddie loved telling us tales including the latest one which was his pursuit of a girl called Steph who did have a boyfriend, but Eddie was convinced that his tactics would result in her falling for him. Chris was studying medicine and, how should I put this, was an incredibly naughty boy. He had a girlfriend back home in the Wirral but after a drink would snog anyone he could. On one occasion I told him I wasn’t feeling well, and he said, ‘Well I could perform a TUBE?’ ‘What’s that?’ I’d replied with concern. ‘A totally unnecessary breast examination.’ His nickname amongst his cohort was ‘sex pest’ as a result.

When Luke got together with his friends and their scrupulous morals, I was always a bit concerned what would happen after too many beers. There was always something crazy that happened. One of them would push it too far. It was a game they enjoyed so they could brag about it the next day while nursing a hangover. 

‘Well have a great time.’

‘What are you up to?’

‘Oh, not much.’ I didn’t want him to feel green with envy that two Italian guys were coming over to cook for Kelly and me. It was easier to tell a while lie.

‘Have a lovely evening nut. I love you.’

‘Love you.’ And with that I put my phone down and thought about how I was so busy with school, adventures exploring Sicily and enjoying delicious food and wine that I hadn’t taken a lot of time to think about our relationship. When I was back home in Cornwall, I was all consumed. I was enjoying the newfound confidence in myself and my abilities and not feeling like a drip hanging on to my man.

6pm rolled round and Mario and Francesco knocked at the door. 

‘Do you mind getting that chook?’ hollered Kelly from her room. She did enjoy telling me what to do quite a bit of the time and regularly mentioned that I was ‘young’ in a way that suggested she thought I was naïve. I was twenty-one and fresh out of college and Kelly was twenty-six.

But as I would do anything to appease, I replied, ‘Sure’

I opened the door and Mario stood there smiling as if he’d popped some happy pills and stood next to him with a crisp white shirt and a face that would cause nuns all over the world to renounce their vows was Francesco. 

Trying not to show that I was in awe of his beauty, I welcomed them both in.

Mario looked at me and asked complimenting me said ‘this is my good friend Francesco.’

‘Piacere Francesco.’ And as was custom he exchanged two kisses.

‘You can call me Cesco.’

‘Ok.’ I replied trying not to sound too squeaky which was a pitch I tended to summon when I felt very uncomfortable.

Kelly then appeared at her bedroom door dressed in a very slinky lace black dress.

‘Wow Kelly you look amazing.’ I said.

‘Aah thanks chick.’

‘Complimenti’ said Mario to Kelly and then introduced Cesco.

‘Boys I’ll show you everything in the kitchen and then Rebecca and I will sort the music. Also we grabbed this wine earlier so we can open this.’

‘You girls go and relax.’

Kelly and I looked through our rather limited selection.

‘What about a bit of zucchero? Kelly suggested.

‘I was thinking more about the Stones…’ said Francesco appearing with two glasses of champagne. 

Mario joined us for a ‘cheers’ and then promptly got back to preparing the dinner.

The meal was absolutely fantastic…as a nibble to have with our champagne, Mario appeared with ricotta filled arancini, we then had a selection of antipasti…aubergine caponata/ prawns followed by a main of pasta con le sarde, a fish dish of sword fish and then lemon granita with brioche baked by Mario’s nonna that day. And all these delights served with amazing local wines. 

I had been dreading the evening, but I was impressed at all the care and love that had gone into the food preparation that I couldn’t not enjoy myself. The boys were very attentive and fun.

At the end of the evening, Mario topped up our wine glasses and said ‘we wondered if you both would join us by coming to the nightclub up the road?’

‘There’s a nighclub up the road?’ I wasn’t aware of.

‘Yes you think its an abandoned building but if you know which door to knock, they let you in.’

I was feeling full and in need of a nap but kelly was quick to to answer in agreement for us both.

‘Definitely we’d love to.’

I then looked at her as if to say ‘are you sure?’

Francesco drove us the 20 Minutes up the coastline to what looked like an abandoned warehouse looking out to sea, so I was quite surprised when he took us to the correct door and when we walked in it was heaving. Lots of beautiful boys and girls dancing to techno. Goodness I hope they change the music soon.

I spoke too soon, they then switched to pop.

I'm blue

Da ba dee da ba di

Da ba dee da ba di

Da ba dee da ba di

Kelly led me to the dance floor clearly confident the boys would follow. I was really enjoying dancing and noticed Mario and Cesco glancing over. I was feeling quite light after all the wine and all my inhibitions seemed to disappear.

After a couple of songs, Kelly suggested we go to the bar to buy some beers. I didn’t need anymore to drink as I was definitely a lightweight when it came to alcohol. My little brother used to say ‘Reb just needs to sniff the stuff and she’s posed.’ I wasn’t sure I was that bad but after a long week I did feel it had gone to my head.

‘Look Mario is into you.. why don’t you go for him and then I’ll have crack at Cesco. He is absolutely gorgeous isn’t he.’

‘Eyes like the blue blue sea’ I said.

‘What?’

‘Kelly I’ve said this before. I’ve got Luke.’

‘Yeah but you’re young, it never works out at your age. You may as well have fun with Mario and look he’s tall handsome, a great cook and he’s into you.’

Realising I wasn’t getting anywhere I said ‘come on let’s go back.’

Two girls had moved in on Mario and Cesco. 

‘Ciao ciao’ ladies Kelly said.

They didn’t get the hint so I turned to Cesco who was closest to me, grabbed him and planted a kiss on his lips.

Needless to say kelly and Mario were shocked.

I then turned to the group and said ‘I thought that would help shew them away’ but what I hadn’t realised was kissing a sicilian man was affirmation that you were committed to him. He then moved in and kissed me again which I had to admit I really rather enjoyed so we carried on kissing and dancing for the rest of the night.

The next morning, I woke up and felt absolutely ‘hanging’ as my school friends would say. I couldn’t remember brushing my teeth and could taste the remnants of the acidic beer. My head was hurting and my stomach didn’t feel quite right. I looked at my phone and saw a missed call from Luke at 10pm. ‘Oh god.’ I said our loud and then looked at the crucifix ‘Sorry God.’ What had happened last night? I remembered dinner and being at the …oh no did I kiss someone else? As I started to go through the motions of the night, I heard a light tap at my door.

It was Kelly also lookin TV a bit rough in her T-shirt and pants.

‘Morning.’

She sat on the side of my bed. ‘Do you remember last night?’

‘It’s just coming back to me.’

‘You kissed Francesco.’

‘I know. I’m sorry.’

‘Shall we get dressed and go and grab a coffee and a cornetto too?

‘Sure. I think I can stomach a coffee.’

‘I just had to stick my fingers down my throat. Shame. I could see bits of that yummy pasta with the sardines.’

‘Oh Kelly don’t I think I’m going to be sick.’

I ran to the bathroom and threw up and immediately thought of Luke saying ‘better out that in’ when we were students.

Oh no I’ve ruined everything. It’s over.

Kelly and I went for a walk around the old town before heading to a cafe near the harbour for coffee. Kelly was adamant. ‘You need to call Luke and tell him what happened. You need to be honest in relationships or it’s over.’

‘I know but he’ll be so hurt. I don’t even like Francesco.’

‘Well you looked like you did last night.’

Oh now I remember they dropped us off and Cesco said he’d see me again.

‘Oh gosh what have I done.’

Look just call him now. I’ve got some coins.  I certainly wasn’t enjoying the tone that Kelly was taking and also the forcefulness with which she wanted to completely destroy my relationship. I felt horrendous in addition to the hangover. I felt I had broken my relationship. That evening, I headed out to phone Luke but before calling him rang gone. I had to speak to my parents. Dad picked up the phone  and I burst into hears.’

‘Oh sweetheart it’s ok. What’s wrong?

I told him that I had kissed another chap and he said, ‘well don’t you worry, it was mistake and these things happen. You’re only human. I wouldn’t call Luke. He’ll feel devastated but maybe when you’re back in April, you can talk to him about it then.’

Bless my father. He had the absolute to make everything in the world right. He was right. Luke would be devastated and who was to say he and Eddie and Chris hasn’t been up to something last night.

I left the phone box and then went for a walk around the old town before heading back to kelly and all her judging ways.

As I got back to the flat, Kelly eagerly appeared hoping to hear news that my relationship was over, so I kept it brief and said, ‘I don’t want to talk about it Kelly.’ And then headed to my room.

Later that afternoon the door bell went. Kelly had popped out for a run and I thought she’d forgotten her keys but when I opened the door is was Francesco.

‘Ciao bella’ as he leaned in for a kiss hoping to be invited in.

‘Cesco I’m just about to do some work.’

‘Ok well I just wanted to give you this. It reminds me of you. It was a copy of the Rolling Stones album Their Satanic Majesties Request. Not sure of the compliment but then Cesco continued ‘There is a song…she’s like a rainbow.’ and I thought of you and he started to sing ‘so fair and pale, Have you seen a lady fairer?’

‘Goodness Cesco, you are so kind.’

‘You are beautiful. I’d like to see you again.’

‘I don’t know what to say.’ I really didn’t. He stood there looking absolutely scrumptious and he smelt so wonderful.

‘Also, my mother…she baked these, and I wanted you to taste’ and he gave me the most beautiful looking pastries.

‘Goodness I will need to go to the gym.’

‘You are wonderful.’

I gave him a kiss on the cheek, thanked him and then returned to my room and listened to the stones thinking about all the wonderful colour in my life.