A Cry In The Dark

It was a normal day for Desiree; she got up that morning trying to figure out what she was going to get into. As she stood in the shower letting the warm water run down her face, she began trying to plan out her day. “What can I do today that would be productive?”, she thought. I could do some work on my book, nah said Desiree. Not really in the mood for scrapbooking today. I will just wing it. She finished her shower got dressed and walked out to the mailbox to see if there was anything interesting waiting for her besides bills. To her surprise there was a letter in there from the agency that handled her case when she was in foster care. “This is strange” she thought. She opened the envelope, and it was an invitation for her to come speak at an event for foster children, former foster children, foster parents and case workers. “Why would they ask me to speak at this event?” Foster care was a very sore subject for her. It was not a good experience at all. She had to seek counseling to get over depression and anxiety. She thought about it and decided she really was not sure if she wanted to do this, because she didn’t know if it would be a trigger for her, so she called her therapist to get her advice. Her therapist thought that this would be a great healing tool for her because it would allow her to face the issues she dealt with and push her to another breakthrough. Desiree called the number that was at the bottom of the letter and let them know that she would speak at the event.

Although very nervous Desiree began preparing for the speech, she would deliver in three weeks. All she could think about was she hoped that whatever she said would give children in foster care a voice because she never had one and thought she never would. Three weeks later she had her speech ready, she had prayed long and hard; she was ready.

Desiree stood at the podium with her mind racing all over the place. In awe, wondering how in the world she had made it to this place. This was one of her greatest accomplishments. “Unbelievable” she thought.  I would have never pictured myself here, but here I stand before all these people. This is amazing. I am about to make history and I get to share it with you all.

I told myself years ago that I would not let my past make me bitter, but I would let it make me better. Never in a million years did I think that when I made that statement it was not only for my healing but for people all over the world. I am excited and nervous; she thought. This certainly is a day to remember. What a privilege!

I wonder if they can see me shaking; she said to herself as she took a deep breath preparing to deliver what could be one of the most life changing speeches. She opened with an introduction of herself and why she chose to share such a sensitive event with millions of people and then she dove right into how she survived the system. She shared how she had heard many success stories of how the foster care system changed the lives of people and she was not knocking them, in fact she was incredibly happy for them, but her story was not such a happy one. It was intrusive from day one. She was picked up from school one day confused and terrified as she left with the case worker and was taken to this large building that she had never seen before without much explanation. Later, she was joined by her siblings. They too were taken from school and brought to the large office building. They were all taken to this strange family and was told that they would be taking care of them for a while until their mother was able to care for them. She was bounced from home to home; some abusive and not very friendly. In the end she was separated from all her siblings left with an abusive foster parent who was also a high functioning alcoholic which made matters worse because when she reported it to her caseworker, he did not believe her, and she had to stay there until she was able to go home.

The more she spoke of her journey and adventure through the foster care system she was reminded why and how important it was to share her story with others so that people would understand the importance of letting children have a voice. It is especially important for adults to advocate for children in the system. It is also important for those that had been in the system to know that they are not alone in their journey to healing and acceptance of how they too had survived the system.

This speech was therapeutic for her; she could feel the ten-ton weight she had been carrying on her chest for years be lifted within moments. It was very comforting to know that she was bringing an awareness to millions of people, and to know that she was awarded the opportunity of helping others get over the trauma of being snatched from their families at a young age. She now knew that it was done to take her from a bad situation but then it made no sense because nothing was really explained to her. Not many know the mental issues that can be developed from being placed in the system, but she knew in her heart by the time she finished her speech she would have educated millions.

Desiree had dreamed of healing from these pains and feelings of abandonment and anxiety for years finally the opportunity had presented itself, but it was more rewarding for her because she was able to reach out to others as well. Today she made history. She gave children all over the world a voice.