Eric and Laura

LAURA

Laura had been waiting for just under half an hour when a man came and sat in the row of chairs alongside her. He sat gingerly, on the edge of his seat, as though this was his first time in the Unemployment cue. She eyed him off, up and down, side to side. A some-what expensive suit but it didn’t quite fit him right—perhaps he’d picked it up for a bargain, or got it second hand. His hair was neat, freshly cut; a goatee accentuated his strong jawline. And he smelled nice. This was a guy looking to make an impression.

She pulled the Mills and Boon novel from inside her bag, quickly tucking the cover around to the back of the book so as to hide its title. Perhaps a guy like that would like a reader. Someone smart. The type of person who carried books around with them.

ERIC

Eric had taken a number and sat on one of the three available seats in the almost entirely vacant room. Such a waste of space as no one had ever seen before. There was a woman in the room, sitting a few seats down from him, probably his age or something similar. She was wearing ill-fitting clothes and a scraggly hair-do. He shuddered. Unemployed people were so… gross.

He smirked as she tried to hide the title of her chosen reading material. Trashy book reader, pitiable, poor no-hoper. Who’d give a woman like that a job? It was no wonder she was sitting here, in an unemployment line. She was probably here for the hand out she felt was her God-given right as a citizen of this great country. A burden on society. And an ugly one at that.

LAURA

Laura’s reading was interrupted – just as Brian was about to smother Melissa’s breasts with his huge, working-man’s hands – by the buzzing of her phone. She looked across at the man and shrugged, secretly excited that someone was calling her on her brand new mobile. She flicked open her iPhone and raised it to her ear. ‘Hello?’

It was her mother. She was having problems with the neighbour again and did she have a few minutes to call around and check the mole on the back of her neck as she was sure it was bigger today than it had been yesterday. And perhaps Laura could spare fifty bucks, to help with some unexpected bills, just to tide her over until pension day.

Laura hung up, drained. She glanced at the man two seats down; he was ignoring her, she could tell. He hadn’t been impressed by her book—now lying with the cover exposed on the seat beside her—or by her phone call. It was clear he’d already decided he was better than her. She pushed her skirt down over her knees and tucked her runners under the seat, suddenly aware of how ridiculous she must have looked, like a thirty-something-year-old trying to look like she was still in her twenties. She considered pulling her high-heels out of her bag, but thought better of it. She would have more walking to do before she could truly sit down and relax for the afternoon.

ERIC

An iPhone? The latest bloody version? He threw up a little in his mouth. Who did these welfare people think they were, that they could get government hand-outs but still afford the latest bloody technology? And clearly, the woman was having some mother-issues; another reason to stay well away. Women with mother-issues were as bad as a sexually frustrated dog living next door to a bitch on heat. He sat back in the chair and looked at his watch. He’d already been here fifteen minutes and there’d been no sign of getting any closer to seeing the person he was here for. He studied the ticket in his hand – it said he was number 074. Where were the other 72 people? He considered glancing under the chairs to look for skeletons and chuckled to himself. The woman two seats down looked at him, confused.

‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘Private joke.’

She had looked sad, when he’d said that. He guessed it was kind of mean; she might have thought he was laughing at her—she certainly was laughable. But as if he was going to do anything about making it right with her.

LAURA

The man had laughed, enjoying a little private joke of his own, he’d said. What did that matter? She didn’t know him; he didn’t know her. She picked up her book. Shame, he’d looked like a nice guy, someone she could have seen herself going on a date with, perhaps. But she didn’t like rudeness.

A text blinked up on the screen of Laura’s phone. ‘Sorry—that last client took forever. I’ve one to go. Are you still waiting for me?’

Laura smiled and texted her reply, letting Helen know she was still outside her office waiting.

ERIC

Eric’s back was starting to cramp. He stood up and stretched, taking a few steps away from the seat and returning to it. If he didn’t need this job so badly there was no way he would have waited this long. He looked again at his watch; pressure was starting to build in his chest, the tightness. He needed to calm himself down. He couldn’t get into a situation again like he had in his last job. He needed to maintain the good impression he’d made with this Employment chick at their first appointment.

Finally, the office door opened and the pretty young thing Eric had met with last time, dressed in a tan pencil skirt and high heels, walked into the room. She looked straight past Eric to the other woman, that scrap of junk, sitting a few seats down from him. ‘Shit,’ he mumbled under his breath. ‘She’s going to see her first.’

***

Helen walked into the room and immediately made eye contact with Laura. ‘Laura,’ she said, taking large steps to cross the room. ‘I’m so sorry. I can’t believe you’ve waited this long.’ The women kissed and embraced briefly. ‘I have one more client to see—’ she glanced sideways at Eric, ‘and then I’ll be yours for the afternoon. Are you sure you’re right to wait? He shouldn’t take long.’

Laura smiled and nodded. ‘Of course. I’ve got no other plans.’

Helen chuckled. ‘What about those under-grad essays you have to mark? Not to mention that thesis of yours; it won’t write itself you know.’

‘It’s okay,’ Laura said. ‘I brought some research with me.’ She pulled out the Mills and Boon book. ‘It’s surprisingly good, you know.’

Helen burst out laughing. ‘Are you kidding me? You have to read that? What would Mum say if she knew you were carrying that around in your giant handbag.’

Laura shrugged. ‘It’s not as trashy as you might think. Besides, if I’m going to write about the way women and sex are portrayed in today’s literature, this is an important element of the research.’

‘I don’t know how you do it,’ Helen said. Then she whispered, ‘I won’t be long. The job at the bank I had lined up for this guy—’ she nodded toward Eric—'has been prematurely filled. I have nothing else he’ll even think twice about taking. Talk about a jack-ass. He’d rather take hand-outs than take a job he feels is beneath him.’

Laura nodded. ‘It’s no stress. I’ll wait.’

Laura returned to her seat as Helen ushered Eric into her office. Laura opened her book again and said out loud, to the no one in the room, ‘Now Melissa. Let’s see how you respond to Mr Octopus’ hands groping at you like you’re sweets in a broken piñata.’