The Art of Passion

The Art of Passion.

Pencil sketches

Each day I don’t see you, each day I can’t be sure of your happiness, the sky is bleak and sunless. The air is motionless, without heat or chill. Birds are silent, and squirrels hide. There is no music, no speech, no laughter. The world is grey and distant.

On those days I think about you and pray that you think of me too. That you share my thoughts, feel my wishes, and live for the day that you will be with me. Then I lie back and sketch new scenarios of our time together. How we will explore each other. What games we will play while we laugh and giggle. In my mind I create, modulate and elaborate on our future. I imagine your delight. I fantasize how we will please each other. I visualize what you might do. I dream about your smile, picture each flick of your eyes, and every twist of your lips.

This is what I do on those grey days when I can’t see you.

Aquarelle Studies

Can you see how a tentative sun washes the world with fresh colors? Now that the snow is melting and a gentle rain drips off young leaves, I want to give you the moon and the stars. I pledge to show you how to fly and catch you before we land. I’ll teach you how to balance on a moonbeam, rush to catch a shooting star, hitch a ride on a lighting bolt before we slide down a rainbow.

But we both know that you keep me needlessly waiting. I am sure you will apologize for your tardiness. After which I will, of course, forgive you for I will be overwhelmed with excitement and gratitude of having you with me.

While I wait for the day that we will be together, I do all the silly things one does to welcome another. I buy the brand of coffee you like and have plenty of cream and sugar on hand. And I wait. I have a few things I’d like you to wear. I think pink is your color. And I wait. I prepare my house and change the sheets. I toss the cream when it spoils and buy it fresh again. And I wait.

Preparing the canvas.

Do you feel the tension, as I do? Doesn’t the fresh intoxicating scent remind you of gesso? I know you will admire the palette I have chosen. My home is ready for you, my darling. Soon you will be here. Then I shall welcome you with a warm smile and open arms. I long to touch you, as I know you long to be touched by me, be held by me.

I sense your fear when I hear your cries of loneliness and feel your despair of ever finding joy again. Rest, my pretty girl, and know that I promise to erase your loneliness and bring you joy in every imaginable variation. All I ask is that you give your trust and dreams to me. In return I shall teach you all you want to learn.

Soon, I shall feel the heat of you against my skin. I shall close my eyes and absorb your scent, learn your shape, and sink into your softness. For now, I am content to imagine your presence on the pillow next to me and will let that image stir my soul. I will dream of losing myself in your smile, drowning in your eyes, disappearing in your arms, and to being consumed by our passion.

The masterpiece

Tonight, my treasure, I will gently ease the last frown from your brow. My hand will slide through your hair as I let it slip through my fingers. I’ll wait to feel the delicate gasps of your breaths, light as a sable brush, paint my cheek before I brand you with my scalding lips and claim you with my body. I will feel you strain to touch me. I’ll hear your prayer to feel my strength. I’ll smile when you cry with relief, mewl, and squirm with need, buck, and moan with passion when you feel my power against your sensitized skin.

I’ll be the master. The skilled professional who plies his craft to perfection. Tonight, you will be the canvas on which I leave my mark. Then you can relax, my muse, and respond to the demands of my touch. You know that my greatest wish is to hear you beg for more while I give you what you need. I anticipate exploring all of you, teasing and toying with you while I revel in your cries of passion.

You won’t have to be coy with me because I know your most intimate fantasies, see your hidden dreams, share your private desires. After tonight I’ll no longer be your secret lover.

Etchings.

I said you were perfect and asked you not to change. I begged you to let me protect you from this dangerous world. I warned you that you were associating with unsavory types. Remember that blond fellow who took you to dinner? Did you know that he has a police record? A DUI when he was in college. And the curly-haired one you met for drinks is being investigated for insider trading. It’s a recent accusation; he might not know about it yet. And the one whose wife left him was accused of cruelty. You didn’t know that did you, my darling? And the tall one has never been intimate, except in chat rooms.

And yet, little girl, you changed your phone number and altered your social media contacts. You even put up more firewalls. Your sudden withdrawal fueled my anxiety. Those few days before I reached you again, I was desperate. I found you when you left the police station today. You should have confided in me, but you will from now on, won’t you? All will be forgiven as soon as you have atoned.

Don’t cry, my possession. Don’t you see that you are safe here with me? Can’t you see that nothing will come between us now? It is my purpose to protect you, to savor you, to cherish you, to watch your every move.

Forever and ever.