Neither One of US

"It's sad to think

We're not gonna make it

And it's gotten to the point

Where we just can't fake it

For some ungodly reason

Just won't let it die

I guess neither one of us

Wants to be the first to say goodbye..." (Weatherly, Neither one of us, 1973, Gladys Knight & The Pips). 

"Really, this song has to play right now, at this moment? I love Gladys Knight, but she's got some bad timing!" Jake spoke sarcastically... "I'm sorry, Leila, what were you saying?" Leila didn't find Jake's humor timely or appropriate, considering the heart-wrenching circumstance they both were facing. Neither was completely cognizant of the reality or depth of the matter. "I was saying," Leila hesitantly continued, "I have to leave now, but I asked if you were going to the bar later on tonight?" It would be another chance for them to see each other under the guise of a girl's night out where her now ex-husband wouldn't suspect any foul play. Even though they were practically divorced, Leila's ex kept her under lock & key as if she was still his. The kind of deadly game of, if I can't have you, no one will. Jake and Leila had fallen for each other, but it was just the wrong time and under terrible circumstances. But as hard as they try to stay away from each other, there was nothing they could do to change that now. They were so physically bound to each other that the time between them being able to see each other and feel each other's touch was torture to them. 

They always had their time at work too, Jake would always sneak off from his duties and find wherever Leila was and surprise her; it would drive his boss mad! They always tried to keep Jake and Leila apart, but sure enough, if you wanted to know where Jake was, just find out where Leila was, and there he'd be! It was exciting, exhilarating! You know how falling in love is! Surely, there can not be a single soul on this earth that has not felt love. Is there anything in the world like the feeling you get; electricity rushes through your body to give off the radiance anyone can clearly see! And even if those two couldn't admit it, Jake and Leila were most definitely falling, fell, and in all ways, in love. Friends seeing the intimacy unfold between them encouraged them and were pivotal in helping them have time on the weekends to meet, as mentioned, under the pretense of girl's night out. Jake having the inside information where they would be going would show up. This night would have it all, dancing, singing, drinking, and physical intimacy!

It took a long time, but Jake wanted terribly to touch Leila's face as he softly kissed her lips, holding her body close to his. What better way to end a night of good times than to express one's love for the other.

It was a warm summer night at that bar on the dock near the bridge, overlooking the water, the breeze just perfect as it waved her long hair across her face. Jake caressed Leila's face and kissed her like he wanted to for so long, as Leila so longed for Jake to do. "OMG," Leila cutely spoke. Jake broke into a huge smile, "Wow! Uhm, Yea! Maybe we should get back? Our friends are probably looking all over for us!" Jake and Leila laughed in harmony. Jake put out his hand to walk with Leila hand-in-hand. Many "first's" had taken place that night, and holding hands was most definitely one of them. It took them some time to make that move on each other, although there was always that "play" with each other the whole time. 

Well, as you might imagine, or not, that was not in any way the start of a happily ever after story. Relationships born out of stress and deception can not have a healthy ending. Force as they may to prove their love; otherwise, it was only destined for one outcome. When word got out to her ex that Leila had been seeing someone new and that it had gotten serious between the two, he started seething threats at Jake. Leila became worried for his well-being, and they both had the difficult task of having to say goodbye. They couldn't even have the chance to see each other one last time. For the sake of the other, it had to be this way. Jake was heartbroken, he wanted to be with Leila so much, and now it was over before it even began. Life went on for the two of them, apart. At the very least, Jake wanted to say, "I'm sorry Leila; for everything." But he never got the chance. Time past but Jake never forgot about Leila, and Leila never forgot about Jake and how he adored her.

There are times in our life when we should let things go and accept them as they are. But stubbornness has a way of wanting what it wants; like the flesh, it wants what it wants. People think they know what's best for them, but what do they know really? Life is like shots in the dark; sometimes you hit, sometimes you miss. 

Fate wouldn't have it, but Jake and Leila would! As time passed for the two of them, there were chances for Jake and Leila to have a run-in, but one thing or another would stop him or her from taking the leap. Leila knew that Jake would be attending a music fest, knew he would be there, but just couldn't get herself to go. And Jake knew where Leila worked, actually drove there on several occasions but just never had it in him to go in. 

And like two ships passing in the night, one never knew the other was only a shadow away. And so it went for Jake and Leila, love gone wrong, or love that never really had a chance to fully bloom. That's for you to decide. A cautionary tale, perhaps? But, to what end? Should Jake and Leila have never given up, given in, and persevered? Or is it just as life would have it? Hindsight is 20/20 vision, and thus, "Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die" (Tennyson, 1992). -John Philip  

References

Gladys Knight & The Pips. (1972). Neither One of Us (Wants To Be The First To Say Goodbye). On Neither one of us. Joe Porter. 

Tennyson, A. (1992). The charge of the light brigade and other poems. Courier Corporation.