The Cadaver Club

After a round of golf Jeb asked me if I was doing anything. I replied “not really why?”

“Just curious. Was wondering if you’d want to come with me to this meeting I can’t get out of.”

“Not really.” But then I stopped myself and thought what meeting is he talking about? I threw my golf shoes into the trunk. “What meeting?”

“Just a meeting.”

I looked at him. “Okay. It’s fucking Saturday. Who the hell meets on a Saturday?”

He tossed his golf shoes into my trunk then his golf bag. “Look Stan. It’s a meeting and I really shouldn’t even ask you, it's rather a secret thing. If that foursome in front of us wouldn't of been so damn slow but our round of golf took so long I way late. ”

I slipped on my sandals, placed my golf clubs into my trunk and shut it. “Secret huh? Are you in AA?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

We got into my car which was hot as hell since it’s been parked in the lot for over five hours in ninety five degree heat. I quickly turned on the air then got out of it. So did Jeb. I walked around the car to the trunk. I stood there looking at him. He didn’t look too good. He avoided eye contact and seem to shuffle his feet as he stared at the asphalt. “What gives man?”

He walked up to about two feet from me. His hazel eyes locked onto mine. “I can’t tell you.”

I sort of chuckled at that. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“C’mon. I’ve known you for what, about ten years and you can’t tell me. I’m the guy that you called when Sheila dumped you. When Margaret dumped you? We’ve played softball on the same team for the last four years. Remember when you got drunk and passed out naked at that motel’s pool in Virginia? So what gives?”

“Acting like an asshole is one thing. Calling you up asking for advice is another. But this, this is way way different man.”

I placed my hand on my car’s trunk and immediately took it off. “Damn. It’s hot.”

Jeb turned around and went to the passenger’s door.  I got in the car and was relieved to feel the air conditioner had started doing its job. The inside of the car was now a manageable temperature. It seemed like hours but Jeb finally got in as I waited for him. I was about to yell “Let’s go!” when he entered the car. “What the heck man. What took you so long?” I asked as I strapped my seat belt on.

“I had to think for a second.”

“About what?”

He grabbed my arm. “If I should tell you where to drop me off or.” He paused then as if caught in sometime of mind warp.

I swiped away his hand. “Or what?”

He leaned back in his seat. I could see he was sweating. “All right. How’s this. I’ll drop you a few blocks away from where you have to go.”

He strapped on his seat belt. “No. Just go.”

I left the golf course parking lot a little faster than I should have and swerved onto the road before squealing my tires as I took a hard left up the hill. At the top of the hill was the intersection. I stopped at the red light. “Should I turn up or go straight?”

“Turn left here.”

I did what he asked all the time trying to figure out what was going on. Jeb was rather a straight dude, not a bit nuts like me but I liked him. We agreed on many issues like climate, politics and how some guys on our softball team were shit yet they thought they were the shit. “You going to tell me?” I asked to break the silence we’ve endured since turning onto Lorain Avenue..

“I can't. I mean. I don’t know. Damn it! Why did it have to take an eon to play eighteen holes of golf?"

“What don’t you know?”

Through my peripheral vision I could see Jeb fidgeting in his seat. I quickly glanced at him as I made the turn onto Rocky River Avenue. Now mind you, we’ve both been drinking heavily on the golf course. I snuck eight beers in my golf bag, bought another two just to get a bag of ice and I think Jeb snuck in a six pack. Well, those lasted to the ninth hole. At the turn I bought another eight beers and I think Jeb bought another four so all in all we were pretty toasted. “You all right?”

“No.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry to bring you into this, but I have to tell you. Yes. I must tell you.”

I stopped at a red light and turned to looked at him. “Tell me what?”

He turned and looked at me then shifted his gaze to look forward. In that split second I saw, fear. The light turned green and I proceeded.  “Look man. What gives? And the where the hell am I going?”

He lit a joint. Took a deep inhale. “I can’t say. But at Hudson Street turn right.”

I wanted so much to pull over and punch the shit out of him until he spilled the beans, but I didn’t. I gripped the steering wheel tighter and made the turn onto Hudson. The houses lining the street on each side were dumps. Forgotten by society long ago and classified as Section Eight. Many were vacant or vandalized. A airplane flew in low to make its landing at Hopkins which was less than a mile away. The noise was incredibly loud and vibrating. I slowed the car down. “Either you tell me what’s going on right now or I drop your ass right here and now.”

“Go ahead and dump here. I don’t care. I tell you I don’t care! Just let me out!”

He was almost screaming and pleading. Ahead was a Convenient store with bars on its windows and litter scattered about its parking lot. I pulled in, jammed the car into park and shut it off. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

He was nearly in tears. From a guy who twenty minutes ago was busting in bravado at the seams for beating me by one stroke on the golf course Jeb was now a baby seeking his mama’s nipple to suck on.  I wanted to slap him. I wanted to, to, I don’t know.  Do something to knock whatever the hell was agitating him out of him. I couldn’t bear watching him be reduced to a slobbering baby or a withering idiot. This guy was six one and two hundred and ten pounds.  “Jeb. Jeb! Talk to me.”

“Fuck you. I’ll get out here.”

I reached over and took hold of his arm as he tried to unlock his seat belt. “No you won’t.” I pulled him over to me and looked directly into his eyes. “Look man. Just let me in and whatever it is I’ll understand.”

“You will, will you?” He smiled then. A weird creepy smile like someone took over him and now he was not Jeb, but someone else, someone terrifying. He grabbed me by the neck and pulled me closer. “You want in. Okay.”

He took out a knife from his back pocket and plunged it into my chest. Then did it again.

“You want in. You’re in.”

I was losing consciousness as he got out of my car, opened my door, unlocked my seat belt and shoved me over to the passenger side. “You fucking asshole. You had to asked all these questions. Well. In a few minutes you’ll see what I didn’t want you to see.” He put the car in drive and sped off.

My vision was spinning and blurring. My mind was weaving in and out of comprehension. I remember asking myself what was going on and feeling this gooey fluid on my hands. “ I’m bleeding,” I heard myself say.

“You’re bleeding all right. Just hang on til I get there. I get more points if I deliver a live one.”

“A live one?”

The car jerked to a stop. My head hit the dashboard. Light was streaming in and out. I heard the car door open. A face came close to mine. “You lucky ass. He’s still alive. You know how many points you just got. Or should we wait for him to die?”

I heard Jeb laughing. “You bet man. Ten thousand. Now who’s the grand master of the Cadaver Club? Huh! ”

I was pulled out of the car. I felt my feet being dragged across pavement. Was Jeb whistling? I'll never know.