18 comments

Fiction Drama Funny

This story contains sensitive content




GENITAL TALK/SEX TALK/UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP/HUMOUR FOR A DARK SUBJECT




Their lives, (His Life)




Clearly, whoever decided that unicorns and rainbows always mean good things had no idea what they were talking about. They were so wrong it's almost funny! She has it all, and her world is magnificent. She triumphantly paid off the house at the age of fifty, leaving no room for those pesky mortgage payments to rain on her parade. And she was the talk of the town, with a career that commanded respect from all quarters. Her children were thriving like a swarm of overachieving child prodigies. They are healthy, and they accept themselves as they are! Seriously, what else can she ask for? She has many answers, but she unwinds them like a knitter unwinds her yarn from the skein. It's like watching a master knitter untangle a jumbled mess of thoughts! She tells stories about her husband and their non-existent marriage. Prepare for a brutally honest account of her emotions and the hilarious way she dealt with her situation. She's about to rip her friends and her partner's hearts out. However, it is too late. She committed suicide, leaving no notes behind. 


Rainbows and unicorns transform into monstrous creatures and hideous pills before swooping in to save her on her adventure. "Nobody heroically rescued her from her agony; it was the pills," yes, ME, "that finally allowed her to rest in peace." So here's how it works.


For twenty-two years, they lived a life straight out of a fairy tale. I am ecstatic and overjoyed. We took care of everything important, but budgeting? There are no complaints there, my friend! The house and vehicles were paid off, and life was like, "OK, let's keep moving!" They were always loving and joyful, spreading happiness like a pair of mischievous unicorns frolicking through a rainbow field. Their children are like little superheroes, effortlessly and awesomely conquering life. They kept saying, "I love you," as if it would magically change the world. With this phrase, however, these two found themselves in a bind.


They had strange sex. Isn't hygiene always a source of contention? He's been hogging the pickleball court like it's his full-time job since he retired! That meant spending a lot of time away from home and dealing with a lot of sweaty days. It all started when he showed off an uncircumcised penis, and the rest is history. He never cleaned his penis, and it stank so bad she thought she'd puke. She didn't want it around her. 


He also stinks like body odour and has a scent that makes her sick. Her stomach was like a wild storm, causing all kinds of havoc, and it was nearly impossible for her to relax in his presence. He was constantly emitting an odour, and his breath reeked. He didn't respect her enough to control his eating habits for her sake. But who needs self-control when there are extra fries? When you combine that with his erectile dysfunction, you have a recipe for disaster! And it RUINS! She was beside herself and didn't feel well. So she decided to talk to herself and told herself, "Hey, self, let's not feel bad anymore, okay?" Let's flip that frown around and get back to feeling fabulous!" And then she was back in the game, feeling as good as new. She deteriorated into a shell of the person she once was. She begins to wonder why this is happening. 


She truly desires sex every night, but it's disgusting in her mind with him. Everything about it felt as soothing as a root canal. He never takes his time; he's rough and only there to satisfy himself and get on with his life. It was a cold, animalistic desire. "Nah, we're not coming to this party," said romance and alluring detail. It's always been a "wham bam, ma'am, thank you." Which is even worse than having no sex at all! She's got a whole universe in her head. She wanted finesse, but she got rough and tough, as well as a power struggle that screamed dominance. He needs to practise his lovemaking, but she wasn't interested in being his teacher.


They live as siblings rather than as a married couple. He was emotionally detached to the point where it harmed her self-esteem and brought her down like a deflated balloon. She began to feel like a potato with no sexual allure or appeal. "I'm going to talk over you, girl!" he said. She was speaking for herself, but her words were so eloquent that they almost spoke for her. He never gives her time to consider anything before responding. She's like a prisoner in her own house, but now she's a prisoner in her mind. "Yo, this relationship is totally screwing me up, bro," she exclaimed. Her throat tightens at the prospect of another night in her bed with him. She's been lying about everything to sleep alone.


"You look fabulous!" or "You look drop-dead gorgeous!" he'd say, but those words would bounce off her like the icy "I Love You" they used to exchange. He'll find any reason to get his hands all over her. And when I say any excuse, I mean any excuse. She grew to despise being within his reach, as a mosquito does a giant swatter. 


He takes Viagra when they have sex, and it's like a meticulously planned night of anticipation. He pounds her like meat in need of tenderizing, his spontaneity gone. Worst of all, she used to adore him like a squirrel adores nuts. 


His insensitive attitude and approach have taken hold over the years, and they're now hanging by a thread. But hey, at least their arms are getting a good workout! He lacks sexual prowess and is only concerned with himself, so she finds it difficult to arouse him. In essence, she feels like a big, fat, wet, old vagina that he abuses whenever he feels like it. Nobody ever asked her if she wanted to have sex or not. 


Without a bond, the relationship dissolved—she took pills, fell asleep, and never awoke. 


He only realized his mistake after she vanished into thin air. He sobs uncontrollably as he places freshly cut flowers on her grave.


Oh, boy! Her version of what happens behind closed doors is quite a story! In public, however, they were the church-going couple who smiled and attended public events where they appeared to be very happy and in love. 


It's amusing how everyone says, "Oh, what a delightful individual!" I can't help but wonder why she would pull such a stunt." And the answer, my dear Watson, will remain a mystery. Since she vanished into thin air, leaving no trace of her existence. She didn't think the trouble was worth it. Life was like, "See you later, alligator!" and went on without her. 


Rainbows and unicorns quickly transform into the monsters and hideous pills that are about to save her as she commits suicide. I swoop in "and rescue her from her torment, allowing her to finally kick back and relax in peace." 


So, picture this: unicorns and rainbows are like two peas in a pod, representing the ultimate combination of happiness and good vibes. But the unicorn playing was too preoccupied to hear the call and became extinct. And rainbows always appear after a storm, establishing their dominance over the next one. 


Relationships, she believes, are like a roller coaster ride: thrilling, unpredictable, and occasionally making you want to vomit. Sex is the thread that runs through every partner's relationship, keeping things interesting and spicy! When you and another human being choose each other, your love becomes physical and begins to work! My friend, it's going to be a blast and a half! Stop and reflect on your own relationships, but only if you're interested. When the sex is good, the relationship becomes a legendary epic tale! Oh, okay, it's true. 


"Love and Happiness," by Marc Broussard, is all about spreading joy and good vibes. It's like a musical prescription for happiness and laughter. So, if you're feeling down, turn on the music and let the love and happiness wash over you. It's a guaranteed mood booster! If you dare, listen to it!

July 23, 2023 06:51

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

18 comments

Michelle Oliver
07:30 Jul 23, 2023

Quite a disturbing story, with elements of pain sprinkled with the delivery. Love this line, “Relationships, she believes, are like a roller coaster ride: thrilling, unpredictable, and occasionally making you want to vomit.” But we still go back and ride that roller coaster don’t we? It’s true that on the surface so many things look perfect to the outsider, but on the inside things are crumbling and deteriorating or are actually dysfunctional. Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Reply

Lily Finch
14:36 Jul 23, 2023

Yes, unfortunately too many people want to appear better than they are; picture-perfect if you will. "I think they do protest too much!" Making it become the best-kept surface lie going. So sad. The couples who always show affection the most may be the ones who are hurting the most. Thank you so much for reading. I always respect you and the comments/feedback you provide. LF6

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Martin Ross
15:45 Aug 09, 2023

OMG! Love seeing you bust out with some great fiction, and this one is epic! You bring every raw, malodorous, painful, frustrated sensation and image to life. I truly love that you spared nothing and no one here — it’s about as honest a story as I’ve read, holy crap in a great way! Congratulation, and thanks! Looking forward to the next and next and next…

Reply

Lily Finch
17:07 Aug 09, 2023

Martin. You are so kind and generous with your comments regarding my writing. Thank you so much. LF6 D)

Reply

Martin Ross
17:17 Aug 09, 2023

Thank YOU!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Ellen Neuborne
19:47 Jul 30, 2023

A dark and engrossing read.

Reply

Lily Finch
15:32 Aug 01, 2023

Hi Ellen, yes. Frightening and sad. Thanks for reading and commenting. I cannot imagine the hell she went through that we don't know about. LF6

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Delbert Griffith
11:43 Jul 29, 2023

Whoa! Dark, Lily. Very dark. What makes it all the more chilling is that shit like this happens all the time. We wonder why so-and-so committed suicide. I think you provided some insight on this question. Good, emotional writing, Lily. It hurts a little to read, and I bet it was difficult to write. Thanks for sharing. Cheers!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Kevin Logue
17:26 Jul 23, 2023

Very real and raw. The husband comes across as such a toxic self centered ass. The mentions of his unwashed stench were visceral. Some great prose in here Lily, I seen your comment about some of this being real, that realness shines through here as a strength. Sorry you had to experience that lose.

Reply

Lily Finch
18:18 Jul 23, 2023

Thanks, Kevin. I appreciate your reading my story and commenting. LF6

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
14:47 Jul 23, 2023

Quite a deep one this time Lily. Lots of difficult subjects touched upon. Quite dark but an important read

Reply

Lily Finch
15:01 Jul 23, 2023

Thanks, Derrick, I appreciate your reading and, as always your commentary. So true and so often times the sad truth about more couples that we know. But at least we ended on a great note with a great song! Thanks again for reading. LF6

Reply

06:01 Jul 24, 2023

Yes I understand it and have some firsthand experience Also sadly

Reply

Lily Finch
07:24 Jul 24, 2023

Sorry to read that. Writing about it makes you feel better somehow. Try it! It does something to you. LF6

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Unknown User
00:56 Jul 24, 2023

<removed by user>

Reply

Lily Finch
07:23 Jul 24, 2023

Hi Joe. I hope it made you feel deeply in an ok sort of way. Sometimes I wonder if people feel anything so I am always glad to see someone write that they felt something deeply. Thanks, Joe, I appreciate the time taken to read my story. LF6

Reply

Unknown User
16:54 Jul 24, 2023

<removed by user>

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Lily Finch
06:53 Jul 23, 2023

Some of the information is true but most is fiction as someone dear to me took her life over issues in her life that she could not reconcile herself to. I miss her tons. Not the greatest story. Sorry. LF6

Reply

Show 0 replies
RBE | Illustration — We made a writing app for you | 2023-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.