THEIR LIVES, (HIS LIFE)

GENITAL TALK/SEX TALK/UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP/HUMOUR FOR A DARK SUBJECT

Their lives, (His Life)

Clearly, whoever decided that unicorns and rainbows always mean good things had no idea what they were talking about. They were so wrong it's almost funny! She has it all, and her world is magnificent. She triumphantly paid off the house at the age of fifty, leaving no room for those pesky mortgage payments to rain on her parade. And she was the talk of the town, with a career that commanded respect from all quarters. Her children were thriving like a swarm of overachieving child prodigies. They are healthy, and they accept themselves as they are! Seriously, what else can she ask for? She has many answers, but she unwinds them like a knitter unwinds her yarn from the skein. It's like watching a master knitter untangle a jumbled mess of thoughts! She tells stories about her husband and their non-existent marriage. Prepare for a brutally honest account of her emotions and the hilarious way she dealt with her situation. She's about to rip her friends and her partner's hearts out. However, it is too late. She committed suicide, leaving no notes behind. 

Rainbows and unicorns transform into monstrous creatures and hideous pills before swooping in to save her on her adventure. "Nobody heroically rescued her from her agony; it was the pills," yes, ME, "that finally allowed her to rest in peace." So here's how it works.

For twenty-two years, they lived a life straight out of a fairy tale. I am ecstatic and overjoyed. We took care of everything important, but budgeting? There are no complaints there, my friend! The house and vehicles were paid off, and life was like, "OK, let's keep moving!" They were always loving and joyful, spreading happiness like a pair of mischievous unicorns frolicking through a rainbow field. Their children are like little superheroes, effortlessly and awesomely conquering life. They kept saying, "I love you," as if it would magically change the world. With this phrase, however, these two found themselves in a bind.

They had strange sex. Isn't hygiene always a source of contention? He's been hogging the pickleball court like it's his full-time job since he retired! That meant spending a lot of time away from home and dealing with a lot of sweaty days. It all started when he showed off an uncircumcised penis, and the rest is history. He never cleaned his penis, and it stank so bad she thought she'd puke. She didn't want it around her. 

He also stinks like body odour and has a scent that makes her sick. Her stomach was like a wild storm, causing all kinds of havoc, and it was nearly impossible for her to relax in his presence. He was constantly emitting an odour, and his breath reeked. He didn't respect her enough to control his eating habits for her sake. But who needs self-control when there are extra fries? When you combine that with his erectile dysfunction, you have a recipe for disaster! And it RUINS! She was beside herself and didn't feel well. So she decided to talk to herself and told herself, "Hey, self, let's not feel bad anymore, okay?" Let's flip that frown around and get back to feeling fabulous!" And then she was back in the game, feeling as good as new. She deteriorated into a shell of the person she once was. She begins to wonder why this is happening. 

She truly desires sex every night, but it's disgusting in her mind with him. Everything about it felt as soothing as a root canal. He never takes his time; he's rough and only there to satisfy himself and get on with his life. It was a cold, animalistic desire. "Nah, we're not coming to this party," said romance and alluring detail. It's always been a "wham bam, ma'am, thank you." Which is even worse than having no sex at all! She's got a whole universe in her head. She wanted finesse, but she got rough and tough, as well as a power struggle that screamed dominance. He needs to practise his lovemaking, but she wasn't interested in being his teacher.

They live as siblings rather than as a married couple. He was emotionally detached to the point where it harmed her self-esteem and brought her down like a deflated balloon. She began to feel like a potato with no sexual allure or appeal. "I'm going to talk over you, girl!" he said. She was speaking for herself, but her words were so eloquent that they almost spoke for her. He never gives her time to consider anything before responding. She's like a prisoner in her own house, but now she's a prisoner in her mind. "Yo, this relationship is totally screwing me up, bro," she exclaimed. Her throat tightens at the prospect of another night in her bed with him. She's been lying about everything to sleep alone.

"You look fabulous!" or "You look drop-dead gorgeous!" he'd say, but those words would bounce off her like the icy "I Love You" they used to exchange. He'll find any reason to get his hands all over her. And when I say any excuse, I mean any excuse. She grew to despise being within his reach, as a mosquito does a giant swatter. 

He takes Viagra when they have sex, and it's like a meticulously planned night of anticipation. He pounds her like meat in need of tenderizing, his spontaneity gone. Worst of all, she used to adore him like a squirrel adores nuts. 

His insensitive attitude and approach have taken hold over the years, and they're now hanging by a thread. But hey, at least their arms are getting a good workout! He lacks sexual prowess and is only concerned with himself, so she finds it difficult to arouse him. In essence, she feels like a big, fat, wet, old vagina that he abuses whenever he feels like it. Nobody ever asked her if she wanted to have sex or not. 

Without a bond, the relationship dissolved—she took pills, fell asleep, and never awoke. 

He only realized his mistake after she vanished into thin air. He sobs uncontrollably as he places freshly cut flowers on her grave.

Oh, boy! Her version of what happens behind closed doors is quite a story! In public, however, they were the church-going couple who smiled and attended public events where they appeared to be very happy and in love. 

It's amusing how everyone says, "Oh, what a delightful individual!" I can't help but wonder why she would pull such a stunt." And the answer, my dear Watson, will remain a mystery. Since she vanished into thin air, leaving no trace of her existence. She didn't think the trouble was worth it. Life was like, "See you later, alligator!" and went on without her. 

Rainbows and unicorns quickly transform into the monsters and hideous pills that are about to save her as she commits suicide. I swoop in "and rescue her from her torment, allowing her to finally kick back and relax in peace." 

So, picture this: unicorns and rainbows are like two peas in a pod, representing the ultimate combination of happiness and good vibes. But the unicorn playing was too preoccupied to hear the call and became extinct. And rainbows always appear after a storm, establishing their dominance over the next one. 

Relationships, she believes, are like a roller coaster ride: thrilling, unpredictable, and occasionally making you want to vomit. Sex is the thread that runs through every partner's relationship, keeping things interesting and spicy! When you and another human being choose each other, your love becomes physical and begins to work! My friend, it's going to be a blast and a half! Stop and reflect on your own relationships, but only if you're interested. When the sex is good, the relationship becomes a legendary epic tale! Oh, okay, it's true. 

"Love and Happiness," by Marc Broussard, is all about spreading joy and good vibes. It's like a musical prescription for happiness and laughter. So, if you're feeling down, turn on the music and let the love and happiness wash over you. It's a guaranteed mood booster! If you dare, listen to it!