A Visit with My Best Friend

It was a familiar, homey scent that reached my nose first and made my eyes flicker open with hope. Could it be true? Was I back home with my favorite person in the whole, wide world? I looked around cautiously, unsure of what would greet me first. 

I felt like I had been in a haze of sorts. Things weren’t quite as I remembered them. Nothing I knew as a cat made any sense lately. Not that I could articulate what I experienced recently; I only knew it wasn’t like it had been during my time with Bianca.

B, as everyone so lovingly referred to her, had been my best friend for fifteen years of my life, and I cherished every minute of it. She knew just the right places to pet me and knew when I needed to be left alone. She knew I loved to play with those little, multicolored mice with catnip stuffed in the middle, in particular. I could tell Bianca really cared for me throughout our time together.

I was pleasantly surprised to see I was back in the space B and I had spent the last four years of my life together - her apartment. I remembered I was so happy when we spent the entire day together, snuggling on the couch with our favorite red blanket. Her body heat made the blanket extra special and warm during winter but was also what forced me off the couch during summer. 

I realized I laid on top of B’s bed. It was the same white, puffy comforter I used to nap on while B was out for the day. The familiar mix of B’s coconut scent and fabric softener put me at ease. This was the exact spot I used to nap when B had to go out for the day and left me all alone. I knew she had to leave to be able to provide for us, so when I missed her, I would always end up in this spot to feel like I was near her. She was my best friend.

While sniffing around, I took notice there was no visible cat hair on the comforter. This made my feline day because it meant she didn’t have any other cats in the apartment I had to compete with. B was all mine, again, if she was home.

I stood up from my spot and stretched my back tall to the ceiling, tail straight as an arrow. I leaned back to stretch my front two legs, then pulled myself forward to stretch the back half. I felt great! I felt like I did when I was four or five, at least, and I was about to see my best friend! 

Swiftly, I jumped down from the end of the bed and slowly made my way around the corner to soak in everything within sight. B’s room looked about the same as I remembered it. Not too tidy and not too messy, just perfectly lived in. 

There were a pair of black dress shoes I didn’t recognize and an unfamiliar scent attached to them, but I didn’t let that bother me too much. It felt like it had been such a long time since B and I had seen each other; I supposed her scent could have changed a little along with her taste in shoes.

I stopped at the full-length mirror that hung just to the side of her bedroom door in silent shock. Usually, I checked my reflection in the mirror to admire my long, shiny gray coat while I walked, but today, I didn’t see anything but the comforter hanging off the bed and those ugly, black dress shoes that set behind me. I walked up closer to the mirror, but still, I couldn’t see myself. Well, this was going to prove to be difficult. If I couldn’t see myself, how was B going to see me? How would she know I was here?

I sauntered my way out of her bedroom and into the living room to see her lounging on the couch with a big, fat book in her hands - just as I remembered my sweet Bianca! I ran toward her with all my might and jumped up on the ledge of the beige couch. Keeping my hind legs on the arm of the couch, I dipped the front half of my body down next to her. I nudged my head against her to try to tickle her cheek with my whiskers like I did when I was younger but wasn’t as successful this time around. There was no resistance and no response. I persisted but didn’t get the reaction I had hoped for from my favorite human.

At the other end of the couch, I noticed another human I didn’t remember. B had her bare feet tucked under his thigh while he tapped away on his laptop on the coffee table. Hesitantly, I pulled myself back onto the arm of the couch. I had to check out this stranger to make sure he was safe for B to be around. 

Very slowly, I made my way closer to the man, stepping on B’s and my favorite red blanket that hung folded over the top of the couch as it did when it wasn’t in use. Pressing my paw against his back, I smelled the same spicy, clean scent the shoes in the bedroom omitted. Just because he left a pair of shoes in her bedroom doesn’t mean he was safe. I had to keep my eye on this guy. 

The man reached around and scratched at the exact spot on his back I had just rested on to smell him. “I think I’m going to move over to the kitchen, B. I feel like my back is starting to spaz a little from being hunched over,” the man said to my favorite person. I looked to her for a reaction.

B used her fingers to bookmark the place she stopped reading in her book and flashed him her sweetest smile before replying with a simple “okay”. That smile. I remembered that smile. It was the smile she gave me whenever she petted me and let me know she loved me. 

Whoever this guy was, I began to like him some. He at least acknowledged me, even if it was just a little.

How was I going to get Bianca’s attention? I tried meowing, but I wasn't surprised when nothing came out of my mouth. Maybe if I played with my toys? 

I hurriedly looked around the apartment for the mice I used to bat around. I needed to think hard about where I used to hide them. I jumped down from the couch about the same time the man grabbed his laptop and started walking around the corner of the couch. I tried to scurry out of the way but didn’t make it in time. Cringing, I waited for the inevitable pain I would feel from my paw or tail being stepped on, but strangely, I felt nothing but a funny tingling sensation. No pain? Well, at least there was one perk to all of this.

Back to my mission, I began searching all over the apartment but didn't see any play mice out in the open. I thought about checking her shoes because sometimes they would fall in there during some serious playtime, but then decided she had to have found those by now. I searched in all the hiding spots I could remember for my favorite mice, but they were gone. I checked under the TV stand, under the couch, and behind the refrigerator, but came up empty. How did all my mice disappear? I knew I left a bunch of them in those last few spots because I could never reach them. Not that I had any faith I would be able to reach them now, but it was at least worth a try. Did my mice disappear when I disappeared?

It was too early to feel defeated. I just needed to adjust my plan.

The window was open, allowing a light breeze to swirl through the apartment and thrash the red, cotton curtains around. Maybe if I jump up on the ledge to block the breeze, she would notice, and then she would know I was here to see her.

Before I tried to make my jump onto the window sill, I noticed my cat tree that used to be in front of the window was gone, too. Where did that thing go? I used to love scratching at the bottom posts and laying on the top part to look out over the city streets. Maybe she just moved it to another part of the apartment since I wasn’t using it anymore. Preparing my hind legs, I readied myself and jumped gracefully onto the window ledge. I sat for a moment or two, staring at Bianca, hoping she would notice a change in atmosphere. Nothing.

I looked around the apartment for something else I could bring her attention to when I noticed a picture of Bianca holding me on the desk near the window. It brought back so many fond memories of when I was young, vibrant, and had that shiny, gray coat - not the weak bag of bones I was when I was last with Bianca.

Maybe if I knock the picture over, B would take notice and know I was here. 

I skillfully jumped from the window to the desk, no thanks to my cat tree. I tried the same tactic I used when I ran my head against B’s cheek, but it didn’t work. I sat and thought so a moment and tried the same maneuver I used when I tried to smell the man who sat next to B. This time, with a little help from the blustery wind, I was able to knock the picture over onto the desk.

 “Oh, no!” Bianca shrieked, slipping a bookmark into the book she was reading and set it on the coffee table before she made her way to the desk. 

Satisfied, I felt my big, fluffy tail swish back and forth with excitement. She had to know I was here now!

 “Everything okay?” The man asked her as she picked up the picture frame to inspect it for damage. 

I scowled at the strange man. He was distracting B when I needed her undivided attention. I tried to butt my head against her forearm while she looked at the frame, but again, I felt no resistance.

 “Yeah, seems to be fine,” she half mumbled. “Mmmm… Shadow,” she seemed to hum with that same dopey grin she gave the man just a moment earlier, and she gave the picture frame a tight little squeeze of a hug. It seemed like the same hug she used to give me every day when she came home from wherever she had been. I missed those hugs.

And I wanted one right now, but I couldn’t figure out how to get there.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. My tail puffed out to three times its normal size, and my fur stood on end down my spine. B smiled as she set the picture frame back down on the desk where it was before and walked over to the apartment door.

 “Trick or treat!” a small group of kids all shouted at the same time when the door swung open. B made a fuss over each costume like she did every year while she dumped handfuls of candy into each kid’s treat bag. 

The one day out of the year I hated was slowly becoming my most favorite. If I could only figure out how to get B to realize I was here. 

 “Almost out of candy!” B told the man as she closed the door, smile still present. She walked over to the man sitting at the kitchen table, draped her arms around his neck, and placed a kiss on his cheek. Okay, if B liked this man, I would, too.

 “Well, if you weren’t so generous with your handfuls upfront, you would have more to give away to more children,” he retorted, returning her kind smile.

 “Mick, I’m the favorite in this building because of the handfuls of candy I give out at Halloween. I have a reputation I need to upkeep.” 

He unwrapped her arms and pulled her around the side of him to pull her onto his lap. She giggled while he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, which irritated me. I just decided I would like this guy, yet, he was distracting B from me. 

Another gust of wind blew through the window, violently swirling the curtains about the window. I took the opportunity to push the picture frame over again. Both B and Mick, as I surmised, both jumped at the loud thud the picture frame made when it toppled over.  

B’s smile faded into puckered lips as she bounced off of Mick’s lap to quickly close the window. She took the few steps over to the desk and grabbed the frame again, but this time, she walked back over to Mick. She resumed her place on his lap and showed him the picture.

 “Look how young you were!” Mick mused, looking over the picture she held in her hands. Confusion swept over me. He must be new around here since that picture had been sitting there from the moment we moved in.

Bianca rolled her eyes and bumped her shoulder into his chest. “Yes, I was a teenager, and this was my cat. Have I ever told you about Shadow?”

My tail swished again, and my eyes dilated with excitement as Mick shook his head and settled in to let her reminisce. 

 “I got Shadow when I was ten or eleven years old,” B beamed with distant eyes. “She was a gray, long-haired, spunky little thing. She had these bright green eyes, pink little nose, and white whiskers.” 

I twitched my nose a little and wiggled my whiskers, satisfied with her accurate description of me but felt like I needed to be closer while she told my story. Airily, I bound down from the desk and up to the kitchen table. Typically, this was a no-no in B’s book, but this was an unusual circumstance, and I had a feeling she would forgive me at least this once.

 “Shadow always somehow knew when I was coming home. She would wait at the doorway and let me pick her up to hug and love her. She had this unique smell to her, too.” B took a deep breath before she began, almost as if she smelled my scent at that moment. “It was like a mix of baby powder and fabric softener. It wasn’t fishy like most cats.”

I stared at her with hazy, loving eyes, knowing it was because I had been sleeping on her bed, waiting for her to come home.

 “What happened to her?”

B’s face looked a little sadder. “Well, she had been losing weight, so I took her to the veterinarian for an exam. He thought, from the test results, it could have been cancer but wasn’t sure without additional testing. I couldn’t poke and prod at her any more than we already did. She was sixteen years old. She put up a good, hard fight, but she was so weak at the end. Next month will be a full year since she's been gone.”

 “I’m so sorry, B,” he ran a hand up and down her back to soothe her. 

Okay, maybe he was okay, again.

 “Have you ever thought about getting another cat? Or maybe a dog?” He asked when he saw a tear trickle down her cheek.

I was appalled that just a moment ago, I had decided to like him and then he went and made this silly suggestion. Another cat or dog! This guy was too unpredictable. Where did she ever find this one?

B shook her head, “And go through all that heartbreak again? I’m not so sure I could handle it. She was the best cat,” she almost choked as she spoke. She swiped at her eyes and left out a shaky sigh before she continued. “After she died, I combed the apartment for any remnants of her so I couldn’t be reminded she was gone. You wouldn’t believe how many play mice I found! And some in the strangest places!” she laughed through the tears steadily pouring down her cheeks. 

So, that’s what happened to all my toys. I tilted my ears back and hung my head low while I looked up at her sweet, sad face.

Suddenly, I was glad she couldn’t see me. And maybe, I realized that was the way it should be kept. It was easier on her this way. Maybe, if it was possible, I could still visit her occasionally and knock some more things over to remind her that I love her and to help her remember me.