The Man Who Loved Me

I grabbed Mari from daycare and headed to the Publix on Riverdale Ave.

I need to buy a money order and we needed some things for the house.

Shopping done I drove home and brought Mari and the groceries inside.

After loving on my 'noodle'(Mari's nickname of the week) I put her down for a nap.

Bananas, self rising flour, egg, butter, sugar, vanilla extract, walnuts, big mixing bowl, spoon, loaf pan, Crisco.

I put on my apron. I was ready to start measuring, pouring, and mixing. As I stirred all the ingrediants of my Banana Nut Bread together I felt him watching me.

His eyes....those eyes...beautifully shaped and clear. When he looked at me I felt beautiful and special from inside out. It still blows my mind after marriage and a baby that I am still so crazy about him.

"It looks delicious sweetheart."

I turned around to see my husband standing behind me in the doorway. His 6'2 frame blocking the sunlight coming from a nearby window with the curtains tied back.

"What are you making today?" he asked.

"Boy what did you ask me to make for you?" I teased.

"Really?!!" he beamed his gorgeous smile at me.

His smile still made my stomach flip flop. The dimples in his cheeks give a 'baby face' quality to his already handsome face. He hates the chipped tooth he got from a childhood accident that never got fixed.....but for me it perfects his smile.

Being on the receiving end of his smile is like the joy you feel when you spot a rainbow.

He started doing his corny happy dance looking ridiculous and and making 'whoop whoop' noises.

I shook my head trying to hold my laugh in but I couldn't. I busted out laughing.

"You're simple and so greedy. I'm surprised you're not big as this house",I said.

"You know Banana Nut Bread is my favorite!! You spoil me girl," he replied.

I smiled as he nuzzled my neck taking in a deep sniff.

"Mmmmm...I don't know which one I want to taste first you or the bread," he said in a low sexy voice.

I know my house will be full of smoke and my bread burnt if I go in the direction he's pulling me in.

No way Jose. Chill I tell myself. I bumped my hip against him forcing him back and walked over to the counter to put the Banana Nut Bread batter in the prepared loaf pan then tranfer it to the oven. I set the timer.

As I shut the door to the oven I hear, "Hey." I turn and look at him.

"You're so pretty."

 I hold my smile ...toot my lips up and roll my eyes.

"Whoa are you igging me?!" he teased.

"Yep my husband can be jealous so I don't respond to compliments except his," I teased back.

"Your husband is fortunate to have you for a wife then," he said.

"No I am the one fortunate to have him for a husband," I say.

 He came closer and wrapped his arms around my waist while I wiped up the mess I made on the counter.

 I leaned back into his chest feeling warm and cozy. He whispered in my ear, "Leave the cleaning for later." I turned to face him and immediately our lips found each other.

"I love you," he murmured when we pulled apart from our magnetic kiss. I tapped my heart with two fingers then laid the same two fingers against his heart. He held my hand against his chest looking into my eyes.

"Baby I love you," he says again.

I know he wants, just once, to hear me say the same words back to him even though he knows it without a doubt.

He just continues to patiently wait. It makes me love him even more.

I was severely hurt in a previous relationship. I was a terrible wreck. I lost weight. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I lost my job from calling out all the time. The bills piled up. I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything.

I just stayed in my room alternating between staring out of my widow and crying. I ignored all best efforts of family and friends trying to console and be there for me.

I knew I needed professional help. I needed to get counseling. I did and I am glad I did. I am better now. I am healthy again still I can't say those 'three little words' out loud yet. I want to but I am scared to after what happened the last time I did even though I know I have a good man this time.

The timer goes off alerting me that my bread is done. I grab a pair of oven mitts. When I opened the oven door the sweet aroma tantalizes my nose. Inhaling deeply I remove a perfect golden brown loaf of Banana Nut bread and place it on a cooling rack.

I laugh as I turn to see my husband sitting at the table with fork and saucer ready for a thick slice.

"You are so extra. You know you have to wait for it to cool," I told him.

"Don't we have a table fan in one of these closets?" he says jumping up to go look for it.

I laugh again and shake my head.

To be honest those 'three little words' bubbled up from my heart and into my throat from the very first day I met my husband.

It's been said that the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. So when I cook for my husband the first ingrediant I use is love and I always use more than what the recipe calls for. Everything taste better when love is mixed in.

Truly I love that my husband loves my food and that he loves me.

 Every day I tell myself that I am going to set those 'three little words' free to flow from my lips to his deserving ears. I am working on it.