The Wind In The Willows

People tell you that everything will be okay, that those little special moments will stay in your heart forever but their memory will slowly fade away. As you age, you forget, and everyone else around you dies until you die yourself, leaving a tombstone alone and forgotten. Why couldn't their memory live on? Why did we only live in the past, present, or future? Why was it one or the other when we can have it all at one time? Maybe it was too much for the human mind to handle, but for me it was the perfect balance.

To bask in the sun for eternity, feel the grass tickle your neck, and the cool breeze as the willow branches swayed above your head. This was the moment I wanted to live in for the rest of my life. His fingers would tickle my palms as he drew gentle circles. I turned my hand over to entangle my fingers with his, grasping the warmth from his hands as I turned my body towards him. We smiled at each other as I melted into his hazel eyes, the beams from the sun made them appear more golden than they really were. 

How were you here?

"Do you remember our first kiss?" He chuckled as he turned so he was laying on his side.

I hummed in response longing for his lips one last time, "We were five years old, and we thought that if we kissed each other we would turn into frogs."

We both laughed at the memory, we were so young and naive, "Where's the logic in that?" He questioned as we sighed aloud looking up into the willow branches, "Do you want to try again?" He suddenly asked. When I turned back I noticed he was already looking at me. 

"Try what? The kiss?" I asked hesitantly. Did he really want to kiss me again, or was it for kicks?

He shrugged his shoulders with a cheeky grin on his face, "I mean... why not?"

I eyed him suspiciously, "Do you want to kiss me?" I asked looking down at his mouth.

A blush rushed over his face as he looked away from me, "We're eighteen now, when the summer ends we go our separate ways."

Forever eighteen.

"So you want a goodbye kiss?" I teased him scooting closer so our faces were mere inches away from each other.

"I guess I do" he said leaning closer so his warm breath fanned over my face, I longed to kiss him, for years I waited for his permission but instead I leaned away.

"It's not really goodbye, you’ll only be two hours away" I laughed.

"I suppose you're right, but I still want that kiss... for good measure, ya know?" He said turning a darker shade of red.

"Cheeky bastard" I smiled as I leaned forward, "But you're not wrong."

And in that final moment of pure weakness, we kissed. His perfect plump lips clashed with mine in heated desire, his slender fingers disappearing into the silky locks of my hair as he pulled me closer, if that was even possible. I turned my head to deepen the kiss as our lips moved in sync, and we kissed like we've never been kissed before. It was passionate, angsty, sensual, and yet it was full of love. Whether it was a kiss between friends or lovers, I always knew we shared feelings for each other, but we never had the chance to express them until now. He was the first one to pull away, brushing his nose against mine briefly as he let out a breathy laugh. My eyes fluttered open, focusing on the blurry colors around me until everything came into focus, I wanted so badly to lean in and kiss him again but I held myself back from making that mistake. 

Lean back in.

"What's so funny?" I asked cracking a smile of amusement. 

"Nothing, it's just..." he began but couldn't pull himself to finish his sentence.

"Just what?" I asked feeling irritated with his hesitance to give me a proper answer. He turned away but when I brushed my hand across his knuckles feeling every dip and scabbed over cut as shock waves run through my fingertips until he moved away breaking contact. 

"I forgot how cute you are when you blush" he smirked as he hid his hand in his lap. 

"Blushing? I wasn't blushing" I spoke hurriedly as I quickly felt my cheeks with my hands but if my cheeks were red at all, it was because of the cold wind whisking on a summer's day. I saw the look on his face and realized he was messing with me, "Oh my gosh, you jerk" I shoved his shoulder trying to appear more upset than I really was but he saw right through me.

He always knew.

"Sorry Cupcake" he teased with a smile covering his face.

I relaxed against the bristles of the grass, my fingers still tingling from our brief moment of contact, "It's okay Muffin" I responded with a smirk on my face. Silence was brought between us as we watched the sun slowly begin to fade into the night. The wind nipped at my skin as I closed my eyes and snuggled into the blanket of the Earth before speaking again, "Hey do you think we'll meet at this tree again?" I asked but there was no answer.

When I opened my eyes and looked to my side he was gone, not even an imprint in the ground to show he was here. But how could he be here? After that day he would never reach the age of nineteen, I would never kiss him again, and he left knowing that I was in love with him. I thought he was happy, he had such big plans with his life and he promised to come back but he never did. Because after this day he would write a letter claiming how much he loved me yet how unhappy he was and then he would slip it into my mailbox, walk into the barn with a piece of rope, and then hang himself without hesitation. 

You think you know someone until they're gone and you realized you never knew them, but you would hang onto the good memories you had with them. Like this one.

When I opened my eyes for the second time this time he was there like he had never left, "One day, I promise I'll be back in this same spot. It will be as if I never left" he said and he was right, because from that day on I continued to go back knowing he was gone, but his memory forever lived with the wind in the willows.