A Turning Point and Back Again

A Turning Point and Back Again

The Turning Point

Still after 25 years had passed Sam could see and hear that dreadful moment in the biting senses of his mind. Sarah was his first love, his only love ever. The two of them had been going out for months and they were just about to graduate from high school. Her parents were very conservative and strict, and monitored her activities very carefully, so they hadn’t had sex yet. That was one reason of many why he was going to propose marriage to her on the last day of school. He had rehearsed the proposal over and over, until he felt fairly confident that he would get it right.. With the money earned at his part-time but fairly well paying after school job, he had bought a ring that he was pretty sure she would love.

They had a date that Saturday, the first in a while. He was going to propose just after he knocked on her door at seven o’clock, knowing that she would be the one to open the door, as she always did.

When she opened the door, he went down on one knee. He held out his cupped hands in which he held the little blue box that contained the not-so-little ring adorned by the light blue sparking diamond.

He had hardly the words ‘Sarah, will you marry, me” just as he had rehearsed it when a look of horror appeared like it had been spray-painted on her face. Then he heard those painful words that would stay with him to this day. “No, no, don’t do this. I can’t marry you.”

She then turned around and shut the door, surprisingly softly, for all the emotions that she appeared to be showing.

He stood still and stunned for a few minutes, not knowing what to do. Then he got into his car and drove away. He never spoke with her again. He never called her to ask for an explanation, and he did not answer her calls. Once she came to his door, and he did not respond to her knocking. He let her walk away

His Life Afterwards

Sam’s life afterwards was predicated on that turning point moment. He would go out with someone for a while. Once it began to inch towards serious he would cease all contact with her. This pattern had repeated several times before he just gave up on relationships completely. His job and his bar-hopping Friday nights with ‘the boys’ were each fulfilling in their own different way. He had stopped contemplating anything else.

High School Reunion

It is the night of the 25^th anniversary of his high school graduating class. Sam had questioned whether he should go, just in case Sarah might show, but then, he did not want to be ruled by that set of emotions or by her. Besides, old friends would be there, including two of the bar-hopping boys. He had to go.

He was a big one for symbolic gestures. He fumbled through the drawer on the small table by the head of his bed, where he put things he didn’t need, but did not want to lose. That included the engagement ring that he had bought to give to Sarah. It was still in the box. He had never taken it out of its soft velvet confinement.

He picked it up as soon as he saw it.  Requiring a symbolic gesture that would help free him to go to the reunion without conflicting emotions, he simply dropped the box into the wastepaper basket. He knew that he would retrieve it once he returned home, but he felt that the gesture was necessary for his enjoyment of the evening.

When he got there, the old school was alive with conversation, loud greetings, and big hugs given by women to other women. He soon saw his two bar buddies and they gave each other exaggerated hugs, in obvious male mocking of the natural enthusiasm of the women. They then started talking about who they wanted to see, and who they didn’t. The conversation moved towards making fun of the latter group, although they did comment about wanting to see them old, fat and dressed with no sense of cool. 

Sam had knocked back a few drinks before he came to the reunion, so he soon had to go to the boys/men’s bathroom. When he came out he heard some of the women talking, two or three of which had been in at least one of his classes over the years. They were having a similar conversation that he and the boys had had. With women people would call it gossiping, with men, dissing. They were talking about foolish things other girls had done when they were back in school. 

A Revealing Conversation

Then he heard Sarah’s name being mentioned amidst much laughter. “Who gets married at 18?”, one said, Sam believed the speaker’s name was Maggie, the words then being repeated by the others. Maggie continued with her story “Her parents didn’t believe in sex before marriage. So when they caught Douchebag Dave making major moves on her in the driveway after he had driven her home from Drama Club one Thursday night they were shocked. They threatened to disown her if she didn’t marry him. And you know how rich her parents were.  And when the marriage didn’t last much more than a month or two, when Dave skipped out of town, they strongly opposed her getting a divorce. It would ruin the family reputation. It was five years before she was free of him. She needed their money to pay for her university tuition.  I heard that she never married again.”

Her audience mixed looks of horror and amusement. They had never been Sarah’s friends and they were certainly showing it now.

Sam’s Realization

           Sam realized then and there why Sarah did not respond well to his proposal. She was already married! He wished he had known, had talked to her on the phone, or something. He had grossly misinterpreted the situation, and had unknowingly punished her for what her parents made her do. He remembered now that she had cut short any conversations on the phone they had in the last few weeks of school, and how she wouldn’t go out with him on weekends, saying that she had to study hard, as she wanted to go to university to become a doctor.

Another Chance?

           Sam spent the rest of his time at the school looking for Sarah, nursing a very wild hope that he might talk to her and they could reconnect. But she was nowhere in sight. It wasn’t too surprising given what the women had been talking about and what their reactions were. At the end of the reunion he went to the nearest bar with his buddies, drank much, said little, and wore a smile empty of feelings.

Sam didn’t sleep much that night. So many thoughts and emotions raced around his brain like they were chasing each other round and round. But in the morning he came up with a plan. He sat down at his computer, and started the first step of the plan.

Two Days Later

Two days later Sam booked off work, claiming that there was something wrong with his heart, which was true, in a way. He drove a few miles to a four-storey building, parked underground, took the elevator to the fourth floor, and walked into an office. The receptionist asked if he had an appointment. Sam replied that he didn’t, but had an urgent need to see the doctor; there was a problem with his heart.

           She replied with a smile, “You’re lucky. We just had a cancellation. You will be able to see the doctor in half an hour, if you don’t mind waiting.

           Sam said, “I’ve been waiting a long time for this. A few more minutes isn’t going to make much of a difference.”

           Thirty five minutes later there were two very big smiles in room five. The appointment was going to herald a major turning point in the lives of both of the smilers.