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Science Fiction Funny

“Over here!”

“Whatcha’ got, Dee?”

“I think it’s an egg. There’s evidence of bedding and broken shell… It’s lighter than it looks.”

“Yeah, maybe it’s hollow. Keep digging. Do you want me to take this and tag it for you?”

“Yeah, that’d be really helpful.”

*****

“Hey! Where are all the tags, guys?”

“Sorry, Prof. I forgot to put them back after cleaning. What’s this?”

“Dee found it in k-14. What do you think?”

“It’s smoother than similar finds. I don’t think it’s entirely opaque. Look.”

“Okay, that’s really strange. Oh, dang, I have to run. Tell you what. Run that over to Kelly and get a set of preliminary images. Tell him to keep it all together. I want to examine it more after this meeting.”

“You got it, Prof. Come on, little buddy. Let’s find out what you are. Do you like the brushy-brushy? We wouldn’t want any old dirt getting in the way of your glamour shots. Kels? Are you here?”

“Stay in there!”

“Okey dokey. What should we call you? Dee found you. How about Dee’s Egg? Dee’s Dino? Ah, I know. Let’s call you Deeno.”

“What are you doing?”

“Agh! Geesh, Kelly. Don’t sneak up on a person when they’re talking to an egg. We wouldn’t wanna’ drop baby Deeno, would we?”

“Do you want something or are you just here to spread your weirdness?”

“The professor wants a full set of prelim imaging on Deeno here. I tried to clean him up some, but it’s pretty caked on.”

“Let me see what I can get.”

“Can I watch?”

“Fine but don’t touch anything. These are finely tuned, precision instruments.”

“Right. No touching. Got it. What’s this?”

“No touching!”

*****

“Kelly, why isn’t anything showing up?”

“I don’t know. Give me a minute.”

“Okay, but you should know, when I held it up to the sun, we could see something inside. There’s a void around it.”

“Really? Odd. It’s super light-weight so it can’t be lead… okay, that should…”

“Whoa. What the heck?”

“I think Dee’s playing a prank.”

“Wait! Prof wanted a full set. Turn it back on.”

“No. Do you have any idea how much these machines cost us out here? No. Take this to the professor and take this thing with it. Dee’s going to get a piece of my mind.”

“I don’t think you’re a dino, Deeno. Come on. Let’s go see where you called home.”

*****

“Hey! Is that my egg?”

“It’s your something. I named it Deeno. ‘Cuz you’re Dee and it looks like a dino; Deeno. Get it?”

“Uh yeah, clever. What’s that?”

“Deeno’s a little camera shy and Kelly got this when he finally managed to get it through the shell. He’s probably gonna’ be over here at some point to yell at you.”

“What is this? Wait. Yell at me? Why?”

“He thinks you’re pranking us. Are you, Dee? If you are, what exactly did you put in here?”

“I am not and did not and what am I looking at?”

“That’s what I just asked you.”

“It’s not a prank. Well, at least not one I’m pulling. I wonder who did it? How’d they get it…”

“So, wait. You think it’s a prank too?”

“It has to be, right?”

“But, aren’t you the one who dug it out of a solid slab of rock?”

“Yeah. That’s a good point.”

“Did you find any more? Do you have any brothers or sisters in there, little Deeno?”

“Are you baby-talking the fossil?”

“Are you still sure it’s a fossil?”

“Hm, well, I mean, this is where I found it. I haven’t gotten very far in the excavation and there might be more farther in. I think there is more nest material farther back this way, so I’m going very slowly.”

“Right. Want some help?”

“I’d love some help. Grab some tools and a sieve.”

*****

“Rock. Rock. Rock. Fossil straw. Rock.”

“You don’t have to sort out loud.”

“I’m bored.”

“You are holding organic matter fossils from millennia ago and you’re bored?”

“I can’t help it. I’m easily amused but I have a very short attention span. Isn’t that right, Deeno.”

“That’s a little creepy. Once or twice was kinda funny if weird but now it’s getting creepy.”

“Ya’ hear that, Deeno. Our plan is working. I’m ready for more debris. Dump your bucket, Dee.”

“Wait. Do you hear that?”

“Um, you pecking on a rock? Yeah. It’s incessant and annoying.”

“Shh. That.”

“Oh. Deeno, have we found your siblings?”

“Stop that and help me.”

“You want me to brushy-brushy while you peck?”

“Uh, yeah. Just… scoot over.”

*****

“If it doesn’t want to be brushied, can I pick it out with my fingers?”

“Let me see. Oh dear heaven.”

“Dee, um, correct me if I’m wrong. That’s a textile, right? Dinosaurs had textiles?”

“They absolutely did not. Where’s the professor?”

“Some meeting.”

“Drat. Okay. You and me, we have to photograph this, measure, document. I’ll go get what we need. You stay here. Spread that tarp over it and don’t let anyone or anything near it till I get back.”

“What if…”

“Not now! Just keep it exactly like this till I get back.”

“Geesh, okay. I’m on guard duty. At least I still have you, Deeno.”

*****

“Okay, here, catch. Move the tarp. Now, back up. Okay, now put those markers every twelve inches from… Yeah. Good, now back up.”

“Poor Deeno didn’t even get his photo shoot. Can I just tuck him in right…”

“No! Would you behave?”

“I’m just trying to stay mellow, Dee. I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

“I’m not mad. I’m just focused. Can we focus?”

“Yeah, but only if you take a couple shots of Deeno so he doesn’t feel left out.”

“Ommigod, here. That’s three shots of Deeno. Will you help now?”

“Okay. Are you going to peck rocks some more?”

“Yeah but from a different angle.”

*****

“Dee? What’s going on? It’s almost dark.”

“Professor! I’ve been working on this all afternoon. I think it’s almost free.”

“Hey, Prof. Long meeting. Do you want to see Deeno’s scan.”

“Deeno, huh? Dee’s Dino get you there?”

“You know me so well. Yeah, well I only got one shot before Kelly shut it down and kicked us out. Seems Deeno is some kind of imposter.”

“That’s not possible.”

“Neither is this. It seems to be hanging over the side of the nest. Like scavenged material.”

“This isn’t possible. Dee, how did this get in here?”

“I swear, professor, I have no idea. I don’t have the means to embed things into solid rock. Do you?”

“Obviously the site has been contaminated. But, no, I can’t figure out how either.”

“Maybe it isn’t contaminated. Maybe it isn’t what it seems to be.”

“Please, I don’t have time for your antics. Dee, walk me through it.”

“It’s not antics. You don’t know what might have happened here in the past. You just think you have a good idea. You think you know when this nest is from, but it has characteristics you didn’t expect. I think it’s pretty rude for you to assume the nest is wrong and you’re right.”

“Right, evidence first. Dee?”

“After we found that fragment, I stopped us, and we started using markers and photo-documenting the entire excavation. We have managed to cleave this whole chunk from the surrounding rock.”

“You think it’s free?”

“Yeah. I believe so.”

“Ha, yeah, but heavy. You want me to go get Kels and the guys?”

“Yes, and take the egg, Deeno, and that scan back to my office please.”

“You got it. Come on Deeno. We’ll go see Unky Kelly first. Then I’ll take you to meet Aunty JoJo and Unky Brad…”

*****

“Why are you still carrying that thing around?”

“It just so happens, there is a bunch more of this priceless thing under a big slab of rock. The prof and Dee want me to round everyone up to help move it.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Sure, I can. Anyway, you don’t have to believe me, but the prof really is waiting.”

“Fine. Are you getting everyone? Yeah, okay, I’ll go to the bunks, and you can get whoever’s still in the mess lounge.”

“How nice of Unky to split the work. Ha, he’s probably just taking the chance to grab a smoke. You see, Deeno, Unky Kelly is a stress smoker.”

*****

“Hey! What game are you playing today?”

“No game guys. This here is Deeno, and the prof sent me to round you all up. Take a look at this scan.”

“Whoa, that’s freaky.”

“Wait till we get back to the pit. Dee uncovered a piece of textile right on top of the nest.”

“This way? Textiles?”

“What do they think it is?”

“They’re working on the theory that the site was contaminated somehow.”

“JoJo, what do you see?”

“Lizard people?”

“I’ll take lizard people.”

“I’m betting Hollywood has been here. It looks like an undisturbed site but it’s really just a set left behind.”

“Could be, but I’m still going with lizard people.”

“Oh, hey, what if you’re both right? Lizard people movie makers built this set and it really has been undisturbed for millions and billions of years.”

“Nice. Okay, boss, we’re here.”

“Oh, good. Everyone take a spot around this piece. Careful. Oh good thinking. Do the same with that rope over there. I thought I told you to take that… Nevermind, put Deeno down and take pictures as fast as you can as we move the slab. Okay, altogether now.”

*****

“We didn’t think this through.”

“Just keep shuffling.”

“Are we clear?”

“Yeah. You’re never going to believe this.”

“What? Careful. Nobody get too close. We still have to take pictures and document everything. Dee? What do we have?”

“Professor. I think we’re all going to be famous.”

The End

February 22, 2023 23:32

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2 comments

Kathy Trevelyan
14:22 Feb 27, 2023

Nice story! It’s a fun read.

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Ubriel Bryne
22:21 Feb 27, 2023

Thanks!

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