Really? It's You

"You know it and I know it. Wait no one told you? It is true communication is key. Just stop please, please, please....."

I woke up in panic not sure if that was drool on my pillow or just sweat. My alarm reads 8:54 AM. I am late for my first class. I know my campus is small, but it is still far enough walk for me to have to run. My roommate is gone to work and I have the bathroom to myself. I know I shouldn't be freaking out about this dream, but I just don’t know what it means.  

I quickly wash my face, brush my teeth, and throw on a pink cardigan with a black tank top, jeans, and my high heeled boots. Wait maybe I shouldn't be wearing boots, I'll just throw on my shoes instead. I grab a quick bite to eat and I am out running across campus.

As I am running I notice my professor for my first class is at the coffee shop getting a smoothie. I stop running and go over inside the coffee shop and he notices me and says hello. I ask, "Don't we have class today?" He said, "You didn't get my email just now? I decided to cancel it and have you guys focus on your projects instead. I told your partner about it. They didn't share that with you?" I responded, "I guess she didn't. She is not good at communicating." Annoyed I sit at one of the tables and pull out my phone beginning to text my partner. She is also not a good responder and I know I shouldn't have chosen her as a partner but I had no other choice. Everyone else chose their peeps and I was left with the girl who barely showed up to class.

Finally cooled down from being upset, I text my roommate to see if she wants to do dinner at our usual spot. I am not one to really switch up routines. I like to keep a steady schedule going until it is time to switch it up. I found being spontaneous has its perks and it definitely has its cons. So I just stick to what I know and don’t switch it up ever. My partner responded back saying she forgot that she had other plans. In my mind I am like “Really?” How the hell did you forget that. My roommate responds saying we can’t have dinner and has other plans. She knows how I am about last minute switch ups and now I am even more annoyed. I pack up my things cause I need to find a spot to concentrate on my work. This day just has to get better. 

Our school library is the number one spot where all the academic things happen. Now those reading this will probably think isn’t that what a library is for. But here at my school we thrive on our library and how updated it is with books, furniture, and study rooms. That is the first place most prospective students visit first. Then of course is our student center where all the extracurricular activities take place. Then our gym that was built two year ago, so a lot of the athletes and “fit” students like to go there. I am a part of a few clubs here. I am the president of French club, vice president of the Spanish club, and secretary of the international club. So I find my schedule pretty simple yet busy. 

Despite our top spots, I don’t want to study in the library and decide to head off campus to my favorite sandwich shop, where my crush works. I have been fond of him since sophomore year. Him and I have had several classes together and we have worked together I believe once, but I don’t have the guts to speak to him. I am always scared if I pour out my heart it will be taken and ignored and I don’t have time for it. But when I come into the shop he is always ready to take care of me which I find special. The sandwich shop was not too far of a walk off campus, but I enjoy taking long strides that allow me to clear my head. Lately I have been nervous about life after graduation. I keep having this dream about this random guy telling me about something I should know. I don’t know what it means, but hopefully it is made known later. 

The smell of onions, mustard, and sandwich meat waft my nostrils and I hear, “Hey you.” Makes coming here worth it. I usually get a turkey club with barbecue chips and an oatmeal cookie. I don’t even have to repeat my order because he knows. His smile is perfect and I love a guy who keeps his oral hygiene up. His hair is short, straight, and blonde. He loves white water rafting and hanging with friends at his cabin. His major is business and he hopes to take over his father’s company one day. His passion lies with animal rights. I know everything about him and I love it. I just don’t know what he feels about me, but I think I am okay with it. When I am at the checkout he asks, “So do you have any plans for tonight? My parents are having this dinner gala thing and they need one more person to fill up a spot at the table. I thought of you. What do you say?” My heart was beating so fast all I remember saying in response was “Yes, I would love to. I can’t wait.” This was not happening, but I was too excited. I gulfed my food down and ran back to my dorm to get an outfit ready. Luckily my classes were done for the day and I had no other plans so I was good. The time I was meeting him was at eight so I had enough time to look beautiful. During my spa session my roommate called me to see if I was free and wanted to have dinner and was at the cafe. Then my other friend texted me to see if we are still on for girls night. I totally forgot about the plans I had made. Now I had to tell them that I couldn’t make it. After sometime both said you could have communicated that with me, then I could have planned something else. Now my roommate knows how it felt for me, but my other friend she will understand. I wasn’t going to miss out on this opportunity. 

The gala was on a mile off of campus, so I decided to drive since it will be dark later. So many scenarios were going through my head. What questions should I ask his parents, will his siblings be there, distant relatives? Should I drink my water after we are allowed to or would I be allowed to snack? What happens if his father asks about my five year plan. I have no clue what it is at the moment. Ugh I need to stop over thinking this and just stay focused. When I arrived at the venue, there were so many nice cars, I felt out of place. Maybe this was not the right place, I quickly checked the piece of paper for the address, it was the right one. At least my outfit matched the theme of this evening’s event. I had my ticket on my phone and got in with no problem, now it was just finding him and his family. The venue was gorgeous. There were chandeliers, large pieces of artwork, glasses of champagne at stations, and people just gathered together laughing and chatting. I found my crush at the other side of the place, but a girl was hung all over him. I stopped in my tracks and thought that couldn’t be him. I was his date right? But she was all over him and he was filling every moment of it. I had the guts to walk over and his family welcomed me with cheek to cheek and asked how I was doing. My crush looked at me and said, “Nice to have you hear. I am really stoked.” I didn’t believe not a single ounce of it, but I went along for the ride. 

The event started right on time and I was ready to eat and get my mind off this girl but she sat with us. I couldn’t believe it. Why did he invite me? Was this to make his ego look great so him and his family were not docked for having one less person. Why did I even say yes? I figured I would eat first and then leave. I refused to be humiliated and watching her just keep looking at him made my stomach upset. It was half way through the program and I was ready to go, so I told everyone that I had some other plans that I forgot and needed to leave. His family didn’t want me to go, but we barely spoke. Most of the program had everyone’s attention so there was not really a chance to talk, but when we were eating. Even then the conversation was dominated by his father and his business. I didn’t feel bad for leaving and my used to be crush was not happy. As I was walking out, he ran after me and said the phrase that I kept hearing in my head and seeing in my dreams. You know don’t you? I turn to fight back tears, “Know what? Why did you invite me? Not once did you talk about having a girlfriend. Not one time did you mention that oh yeah I just need a filler at this table.” His head was down and his hands were on top of his head. He didn’t know how to respond. “Yes that her and I used to date. But that is not the reason he invited you. I have wanted to tell you since our first class that I liked you. I didn’t know how to tell you, but I wanted to invite you because you could meet my family. My mom loves my ex-girlfriend so she was invited by her. But listen I didn’t want her here obviously I would be sitting in there. Everyone knows how I feel about you. You didn’t know? I couldn’t communicate it to you because I didn’t know how you felt about me so I just kept my mouth shut. Why do you think I loved seeing you when you stopped by the sandwich shop?” Shyly responding back, “I guess our communication hasn’t been great huh? I didn’t know at all. I like you too, actually has been for a while. I am just always scared of every damn thing and I don’t know how to voice it.” He chuckles and gives me a hug and asks me to stay. I give in and say to him, “Really? It’s You?.