A Gift for Me

Suddenly, I thought I knew him. He was of average height, had a nicely trimmed mustache, a pointy nose with neat nostrils, and those eyes. His eyes were blue and clear and they sang a song of a better tomorrow. His eyes were carefree and happy. He was standing there with a smiling face apologizing for not paying attention to where he was going. He bent down to pick up my books and said it's the third time he's bumped into someone that day. He had a hearty laugh and a smile that took up most of his face. I couldn't resist myself and smiled back at him.

It was the first time I smiled in weeks. Life hasn't been easy since the accident and I saw no reason to smile again. But with him, in front of me, I felt a familiar feeling as if I'd dreamt all this up before. That's it! It clicked for me, I did dream him up. It was five days after the accident when I woke up with a feeling of happiness that lasted about two seconds before reality dawned on me. I thought dreams were all a lie. Dreams are the cruelest illusion invented. The universe obviously hated me so much that it even had to lie to me in my dreams.

But he was the man from my dream. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out, "Father never liked airheads." He looked awkwardly at me, and proclaimed, "Mother disliked uptight people!" He laughed again and said because of his mom he preferred to be an airhead and a dreamer since it was her last, dying wish- she wanted her son to be happy in a world that no longer understood it. 

I looked at him curiously. I've never met anyone like him, except in my dream. He was one and the same. His mannerisms and gestures mirrored each other. His contagious laugh made me feel again. I felt happy. Free. Satisfied.  All of a sudden I had a hunger for him. To know him, to love him, to be his. To feel him in my arms. To have his hands around me. To kiss every inch of his body. To scream from the pleasure he brought me.

I shook my head at myself and cast the thoughts away. What was going on with me? I did not know this man and I didn't need him. Life was the same every day. Get up, get ready, go to class, go to work, come home, study, go to sleep. I didn’t change or need happiness. I couldn’t afford it. I didn’t have time or energy for it. I didn’t know if I could handle it.

But I did know him. In my dream, we had a beautiful life together. He came home every day with a bouquet of flowers that he picked on the way home in a nearby field. He always took out the trash. He never forgot a birthday or anniversary or any special occasion. He always created special occasions for our family. He made me laugh and never forgot to admit that he was wrong, or remind me when I was! He wiped my tears and made me feel safe. He cherished our children.

Oh my, we had children?

 Where is my mind headed right now?

  I questioned my existence as this man extended me my books. His hand gently grazed mine and I remembered the passionate nights we shared together in the most simplistic ways. He loved me in the kitchen, on the lawn, in the car, and even on the beach under the moonlight! He was amazing. My whole body tingled just from the sheer memory of those nights. I'm sure I looked excited and hungry for him, for his body, his touch. I took a step back from him. I didn't know what was happening to me.

I blushed.

The man tilted his head to the right and cautiously examined me. His eyes squinted and a flirtatious smirk appeared on his face as he concentrated on me. It felt like he was x-raying me which made me blush even more. This made him laugh. His laugh was not cunning or harmful though. It was a familiar laugh, a laugh where I knew he was right and I just wanted to get back into his arms. He looked at me and said, "You've had it too, haven't you? I knew you did the moment I looked at you!" He was excited. I was confused. His look mirrored my feelings. He wanted me. 

He had the same dream? He wanted me? I didn’t understand anything. How can people share dreams? Was this a joke the universe was playing on me? He was smiling again. His eyes flashed lustfully and lovingly at me. He took my hand gently into his and said "I promise to love you more than the dream we've shared, I'll give you all I possess. Will you marry me?" 

I put my head down and tears streamed from my eyes. He continued to hold my hand. How could I be happy when the accident took everything away from me? My whole family was gone. I didn't have anyone to love, no one to love me back. He didn't say a word. It felt like days went by but through the pain I lifted my head and met his gaze. He patiently, lovingly waited for me. I knew he would always wait for me. He would always be there for me. I mustered enough courage and quietly whispered, "I thought you would remain a figment of my imagination. But you're here, you're real. You are my savior. The universe didn’t mock me. It prepared a gift for me."

He waited. I smiled at him again. It was a strange thing to do, to smile twice in one day but I couldn't stop, couldn't resist. His joy and carefree demeanor was contagious.  I giggled like a schoolgirl and heard the faint last word from my lips before he embraced me in one of our many first kisses.

"Yes."