Peace Lily

It was August when they found her, skin pale and lifeless. Her eyes frozen in momentary fear and blood tinting her blonde hair to a disturbing shade of pink. Her death was brutal according to the daily paper, but of course there were no details. Everyone wanted the details; Everyone except me. I didn’t want to think of the strangled screams and pleas of life that she gave, I really didn’t want to think at all. 

The first letter came to me in August, bloodstained and torn. Two words written that sent shivers down my spine. Letters continued to come after the first, each one just as disturbing. The cops didn’t believe me and my mind was beginning to lose itself. Why wouldn’t anyone believe me? Why couldn’t they see the proof?

This letter was different and if they couldn’t believe me after this I had no doubt that I wouldn’t survive. I’d be the one with pale skin and lifeless eyes. He was coming for me and I’m confident that he would win. I read the letter again with shaking hands, dialing the three numbers that had failed me so many times before. I heard the female voice ask what my emergency was but what would I say? Would “Hello! I got a letter saying that I was going to be killed tonight!” be brushed off? It was Halloween and operators were dealing with hundreds of false alarms and prank calls. 

I convinced myself it wouldn't work and hung the phone on the hook gently. I sit slowly at the old mahogany table and stare at the words on the paper again. I was going to die tonight, there was no doubt. Each letter before had said my time was coming and it was finally here. Would it be quick? Painless? Or would he torture me and drag it out? No one would care about screams, they’d think it was for the occasion. It was genius and I had to give the credit where it was due. I shakily write a letter of my own. 

Dear whoever finds me, 

I hope that you aren’t traumatized by the scene before you, but I have something to get off my chest. I am guilty and have always been. I know who is coming for me and because I am selfish, I do not want them to be caught. Please understand that they aren’t aware of what they are doing, and that it is all my fault. I made them this way with reckless decisions and selfish behaviors. I did something terrible and they blame themselves. Three years ago, I strategically arranged a murder, and got away with it. I led him into my home with the promise of love the way it once was. I only wanted to make things go away. He wasn’t always this way, I swear it. I watched silently as life left his eyes and his last breath left his lips. I allowed myself a moment of peace before the hard work had to be done. I cooked dinner, drank wine, and read my favorite self-help book. After I was relaxed, I pulled his lifeless body to the backyard and started digging. You can find him under the pecan tree where the Peace Lily grows, or you can leave him. It was his favorite spot to watch stars from anyhow. I feel no remorse for my actions and I do not feel that it is appropriate to say sorry to anyone. I will however say that I wish it didn’t have to happen the way that it did and that I never used any of the money I inherited. You will find it under the floorboard of the master bedroom. Use it for my funeral please, his too if you must. 

Goodbye, 

Marie.

I gently poured myself a glass of wine and placed the letter in the mailbox. Someone would find it soon enough. I let my mind drift off to a better place, a place where the sun never sets and the gentle sounds of the ocean soothes my racing mind. I deserve this moment of peace before my never ending torment in hell fire. Maybe it isn’t true and there is simply nothing after you are gone. 

The clock reads half past midnight when the lights shut off. I gently bring the wine to my lips with a trembling hand. I can hear the footsteps pounding louder than my heart, but I won’t run. It was time. I see the reflection of the knife glistening in the moonlight and I welcome it. I wished the theatrics would end, I wanted to see his eyes once more. A youthful reflection of my own, dull and gray. I smile gently as he stands in front of me, before carelessly lighting the end of my cigarette. I am not afraid like I should be, like anyone else would be. I stare at my mirror and smile. The reflection smiles back at me and carefully runs glove covered fingers through my hair. I wonder where he will run away to after his grand finale, maybe France? I heard that Italy was beautiful this time of year. I imagine myself walking down marble halls in an extravagant dress, the eyes of every man lusting after me. I see him standing beside me in a tailored suit; he was the most handsome one there. I would glare at every woman that looked at him because they couldn’t give him the same satisfaction that I could. Only I could take him to that place, just as I had with the man who wore the face first. 

“I am ready.” I whisper to him. 

He doesn’t speak, just as I expected. I feel burning heat as the shining carbon steel breaks through my skin. I don’t cry or scream because I know it’s what he wants, what he needs. I was too stubborn to give him the satisfaction he was after and he was becoming angry. After the third entry into my stomach I don’t feel the burn anymore. I don’t really feel anything. He doesn’t stop there, and I know that he won’t stop until I am no longer breathing. I consider holding my breath and ponder if he would make a mistake and leave me alive, I don’t deserve the luxury though. Instead I let my mind travel to the many nights we shared together doing things that could ruin us forever. If only we weren’t caught. 

This wouldn’t be happening I assume. We would still be spending nights together whispering I love you’s and sharing touches in the dark. I allow my eyes to look at the protruding vein in his forehead and gently rub it with my thumb. I always hated when it appeared. I frown as he jerks away from my touch, his bloodshot eyes holding disgust. I feel my own water at this, he had never looked at me that way. I watched through blurry eyes as he lifted my left hand and sliced my ring finger off. The pain is unbearable but I knew he was almost done then. The crimson blade raised high in the air confirmed this for me. 

I look into my eyes that he wore so well and offer my last words, “Bury me under the Peace Lily next to your father please.”