Swimming against the tide

It would be really good if Blessing could tell you about the hobby she has become devoted to over the few months, but she still don't have one. What she do have is less guilt about her hobbyless-ness, and a determination to stop buying supplies for hobbies she has never made work before. Having feelings to like or try something and actually liking or trying it are two different things all together.

Having a hobby that one enjoys, whether dancing, reading or practicing pirouettes in ballet class, has all sorts of well-documented benefits, from Lower levels of stress to an increased sense of belonging and purpose.

There are plenty of people out there who don't have or who keeps picking up different hobbies but never manages to stick with them; and Blessing Eze was not an exception.

It's easy but also hard for Blessing to fit new things into her life, because it's a Zero-sum game, where in order for her to create time for a new activity, she has to take that time away from doing something else. So it's important to acknowledge that she hoping to introduce (and maintain) a new hobby is "Swimming against the tide".

There are many things if not planned well can make someone to pick different hobbies but end up not managing to stick with them. They includes:

1. Keeping your vision and goals in mind- Knowing why we need to stay focused can help us push through the tough and tedious parts of accomplishing our goals. That's when our ability to focus is really tested and when it's most needed.

2. Do those tasks as soon as possible- In order to make sure you get those 2 to 3 tasks done, you need to do them early. It's tough, but waiting to do them only invites distraction to take over.

3. Control your internal distractions- Internal distractions are one of those problems you can't really run away from. You need to find ways to prepare your mind for work, and find simple ways to keep it from straying to non-essential thoughts as well.

A good way to prime your mind for work is to have a dedicated work station. If you always work in a specific area, then your mind will associate that area with work related thoughts.

4. Remove external distractions- This tip is straight forward, just get away from things that distract you.

Is the television a distraction? Work in another room.

Are the kids distracting you? Get up earlier and work before they wake up.

5. Manage your momentum- Momentum is like a discipline lubricant- It helps ease the process of sticking with goals. This means each and everyday we need to do something significant to further our goals.

6. Reduce the chaos of your day by focusing on 2 to 3 important tasks- if you have 20 tasks you need done everyday, how effective do you think your focus ability will be? Terrible, right?

Focus on only doing 2-3 important tasks a day(even one is okay), but no more than that. It's all you need to take steps towards accomplishing your goals.

7. Focus on only the smallest part of your work at a time- An easy way to kill your focus is to see a goal for the big giant accomplishment that it is. Most goals will at least take a few weeks to months to accomplish, and knowing that can make it feel like it will take FOREVER to do.

So what should you do? Focus on doing a very small, minimum amount of work instead.

8. Visualize yourself working- Champion runners use this technique to great effect, usually by working backwards. They imagine themselves winning at first, then they act out the whole process in reverse, feeling and visualizing each step all the way to the beginning.

9. Skip what you don't know- Focus your attention on what you CAN do, keep working "mindlessly" at all costs. All this means is that you should focus on the easy parts first before considering the harder ones.

Being mindful is very important in today's ever-accelerating world in order to keep your balance and peace of mind. It gives a sense of achievement and helps increase self-esteem.

But what happens when we cut out the process and only focus on the final product? All we get is the shiny end product. It can make us feel pressured and sometimes sets unachievable expectations on ourselves. When handmade things must look store-bought (because you can buy things that look handmade, vintage and shabby chic in stores)?.

A good sign that shows she's not doing especially well, anxiety-wise, is when she decides impulsively, that she is getting really into an activity she has either never done before, or never manages to stick to. She has ventured into writing books, singing, selling of fashionable clothes, knitting, drawing, acting, and modeling.

She also considered teaching, ceramics, and plastic molding.

All she wanted was a hobby, she can stick to, or something she can do for fun. Reading is a hobby, but she's too competitive about it (both in terms of how many books she read and how she compares to what she is reading) that it also feels like work. She exercise, but that, to her, will always feel a little too punishing to count. And some of her other failed attempts.

Hobbies are super important.

Hobbies are there to balance out our stressful working lives. It's where we find peace and quiet and sense of self. When we start to set the same standards on our hobbies as we are required to do at work, it becomes work. And your work-life-balance tips towards more of a work-work-balance. Once that happens, the stability of our mental health is at risk. Exhaustion, discontent, high stress levels etc. Can quickly lead to more severe problems if we do not have something to balance these out.

Finally, the truth is, no matter how she approach finding a new hobby, she always miss, because when she thinks crafting is the perfect creative outlet- she only discovers it feels boring and monotonous, which makes her to back down out of lack of persistence in pursuing it.

It never occurred to her that, it might take a few attempts to find a hobby one might love, but the key is never to give up; she keeps picking different hobbies without sticking with them, because of laziness and fear of meeting and connecting with people, and exploring new things.