The sun can rain too

‘Wait, you’re telling me this beautiful love story is the origin story of a notorious villain?’ Maria, the golden beauty I had met just an hour ago asked from my bed.

I tucked a strand behind her ear, smiling down at her. ‘Oh yes, my love. The origin of an obsessive, sadistic murderer indeed.’ I tilted my head at her familiar beauty. ‘You’ll see. Once I tell you the end of it.’

September, 14th

..…He swallowed nervously when her soft lips touched the wine glass. Heat rushed through his veins down to his groin. Nicklaus should’ve ignored how she made him feel, but his weakness was that he didn’t want to. He enjoyed watching her blush under his innocent touch, and how she fought in vain to keep her beaming smile down. Nora’s steps were often too swaying and tipsy to virtuously have more wine, but she dipped for another sip anyhow. Sweet aroma swirled in her mouth as she savoured the taste of drunken grapes. Nicklaus admired her and she frowned, facing him with lustful curiosity. 

‘What?’ she demanded innocently. His smile only deepened. He had her locked between his arms, pressing her againts the kitchen counter. 

‘Just looking forward to your drunk self starting arguments with the guests later. My favourite part of these dinners.’ 

She let out a self-deprecating laugh. ‘Well I don’t need to be drunk for that, my dear. This mouth lives on its own accord. You should know,’ she smiled smugly, pointing between them, “how many years of friendship have we suffered through now? Five… six?… Well, you hated me that first year, so it doesn’t really count… five then?’

His gaze found her mouth, and he dreamed for a moment what it could do when aroused and yearning. The problem was, it yearned for other men. Unsuitable pricks that he chased away, convincing her she could do better. Don’t degrade your own worth, darling. Don’t choose lovers based on what you think you deserve, because you think so wrong. What do I deserve then? Me. But he didn’t say that. And she was engaged to another man now.

‘Six years,” he corrected. “And you’re wrong. I didn’t hate you.’

‘Oh but you did, Nicklaus! I was all but twenty and silly and disorientated. But you,’ she pointed a stubborn finger to his chest, ‘you were a senior. Handsome and put-together and sooo serious. You hated me and then you hated Josh. I remember.’

His lips thnned. ‘Because he wanted you, Nora. Were I to let you run off with any man who threw himself in your direction?’

‘No no, I guess you’re right.’ Her voice was mocking, but her eyes were an insatiable sweetness. A common paradox in Nora that kept him fooled and occupied. He could only focus on the latter. 

‘He must be worthy and rich and obsessed with my soul,’ she drawled, repeating Nicklaus’s own words from earlier years. ‘Yeah yeah, I know your speech by heart now. Such a poet…but then again, I didn’t listen to a word, did I?’ She glanced down at the ring on her finger, her expression falling in a way that made him want to tuck her frail body tightly against his. Nora must’ve sensed this, for she sent him a knowing look and wrapped her arms around his torso. Letting her sink against his chest, he hoped he was extracting from her every ounce of pain or regret she felt in the vast deepness of her heart. 

‘You’re gonna tell me I can leave Josh and run off into the sunset with you, aren’t you, Nick?’

He felt her warm breath against his chest. Pulling her in impossibly closer, she let out a sweet, muffled groan which made him feel desperate. 

‘Yes.’

‘And why would I do that?’

‘Because he’s not worthy. Or rich. Or obsessed with you soul.’

Her head tilted up, eyes finding him despite his tight grip around her body. ‘Well, are you? Are you obsessed with my soul, Nicklaus?’

With your heart, your soul, your rain and your sun. 

‘Of course. I love you,’ he declared with secret agony, serving a sweet smile from the blonde angel. 

‘Oh I know you do, Nick. And I love you too, so so much. And I loove this wine!’ She wiggled out of his grip and poured another glass. ‘And my mouth loves it too. And my mouth is feeling reckless! We must go inside before I’m too sober to destroy the party. Gosh, that would be boring.’

Nora was out of his grasp and strutted clumsily out of the kitchen. He followed behind like a lost puppy, hoping she wouldn’t trip and break the heart he had gifted to her. 

The right side of the dining table seated adults and the scent of wine, drunk children fooling around on the other. Nora sat in the middle next to her fiancé, and swayed curiously between the two conversations, wondering which age group she felt at home in. 

Nicklaus sat opposite of the engaged couple, his feet flirting with Nora’s under the table. For a moment, he hoped Josh–the stiff bloke that claimed her–would notice. Maybe then he would realize Nora never really belonged to him. 

The children brought out the entirety of Nora’s emotional spectrum. She danced in conversation with their strange, curious little minds. When she laughed at their socially strange outings, Nicklaus smiled with her. When she empathically frowned at their misguided worries, his heart churned for her.

As the crisp evening turned into a drunken, starless twilight, some of the parents felt responsible enough to take their offsprings home. Nora hugged her little cousins goodbye, ensuring that they didn’t feel excluded from the party and understood it was time for bed. 

Nicklaus was making cheap conversation with Nora’s distant aunt when she returned to the table. The ginger woman was older than Nicklaus, in her thirties. Her husband was a dedicated gardener, and after learning this information Nicklaus excused her shameless flirting. 

‘So yeah. Well so you see now. Robert never has the time to trim my garden when he’s so busy with everyone else’s!’ the woman let out an obnoxious, self-deprecating laugh which Nicklaus didn’t return. 

Nora kicked his foot under the table, urging him to flirt with her single family members just like always. So you can marry into my family, she always said. That would be lovely. 

Nicklaus hated what she suggested. Surely she would realize soon who he truly wanted? Surely his heart wouldn’t have to endure this cruel torment for much longer?

He couldn’t find an answer for that, so he entertained the red-head instead. An impossible agony it is to hold a conversation when one’s true love is caressing your foot under the table.

His chest felt hot and heavy, his heart pumping rapidly against it. Several times he had to adjust himself in the chair, or drag a sweaty hand across his tie to distract himself. 

Nora had finished her glass of wine now. Her feet stopped to caress his legs, and her hand had intertwined with her finacé’s. No sight had ever disturbed him more. 

Surely Josh Smith, the British bloke, couldn’t offer the same warmth as he could. Surely he didn’t appreciate her the same way he would. Besides, his teeth were unappealingly crooked and his figure too short to fully cherish her long legs. 

Nicklaus felt suddenly sick, and he often did at those september dinners. A gathering of the Parkers and the Smiths, a union of two families formed after the engagement of their children. A match made somewhere beneath heaven, and very close to Nicklaus’s personal hell. 

Why Nora insisted he joined these dinners, only God knew. Perhaps his presence calmed her, or she knew her mother preferred Nicklaus to Josh. Sensible woman, that one. 

‘But just consider it, Mr. Smith,’ Nora insisted to her father-in-law. All of the men were turned to her, Nicklaus included. He leaned back in his chair and let the chaos unfold, a smug smirk resting on his lips. Nora could challenge the thoughts of people in an infuriating way, and he enjoyed watching it happen.

‘Think about it?’ Mr. Smith said, outraged. ‘I have thought about it, and I needed but a second to dismiss your ridiculous theory! Utter bullshit, young lady.’

His crude words didn’t seem to bother her at all. She smiled to her ears and brushed off his critiques. ‘Oh but I am right in what I say. Time is not real. It’s a social construct to keep sanity and order. But now we’re all insane and chaos is roaming because of your obsession with past and future.’

‘Oh give us a break, my Nora,’ her mother uttered. ‘Give poor Mr. Smith a break. The only chaos roaming is the one you cause when you’re late for all your appointments!’ She turned to Nicklaus now, pleading him for support. ‘Make her come to her senses, Nicklaus dear.’

He smiled, only shrugging before his gaze cut back to Nora. Nora who had in fact not came to her senses, and was rambling on about the prison of time and the peaceful existence of living in the carefree ‘now’. Nicklaus didn’t want to stop her. He wanted to fall into a deep slumber where his only dreams were the repetition of her words for eternity. 

Then his gaze trailed over Nora’s head and landed on the window, where small raindrops were shown dripping from the sky. As if sensing it, Nora’s head whipped back and her attention caught on the same rain.

Nicklaus’s body stilled. A swirl of uncertainty and excitement. He knew what would happen next. He knew what she wanted.

‘Parker,’ he warned lowly, raising his eyebrows.

She turned to him quickly, false innocence fluttering in her eyes. ‘Jones?’

She was asking for permission, just like she always did. He would say no, just like he always did. Then she would defy him, and he wondered if it was a certain kink of hers, to ask for permission only to carelessly defy it.

‘Parker,’ he said again, denying her want with finality.

Her lips made a sad pout. But then the flirtatious raindrops turned into a raging drizzle, and her eyes lit up once again. They heard the torrents of rain splash like drums against the grass, like God himself was threatening to wash away their sinful existence.

The more rain that came, the wider her eyes grew. ‘Jones?’ she tried again, staring at him intently.

Nicklaus gave up, sighing in defeat. Before he could say more, Nora beamed and flew out of her chair. 

The heads of the dinner party snapped towards her exit, leaving a confused fiancé behind in his chair.

‘My God, what is she up to now?’ Mr Smith cried.

Nora’s mother was on high alert, turning to Nicklaus. ‘Oh my, don’t tell me she’s–’

‘Running out in the rain?’ Nicklaus said, standing up. ‘Why yes she is.’

Mrs. Parker groaned and buried an embarrassed face in her hands. ‘My daughter has officially lost her mind! For goodness sake, a storm is coming!’

‘And for what fucking purpose?’ Nora’s fiancé cried. ‘Why would she possibly want to go out in the rain?’

Nicklaus felt the sudden need to defend her. ‘It’s called living in the reckless ‘now’.’

‘Do not follow her, Nicklaus dear!’ her mother called after him as he left. ‘You are feeding her insanity! Just call her inside, will you dear?’

He ignored them all. Positioned in the gaping front door, he smiled to himself. Nora’s long legs had taken her down the hill, barefoot and slamming against the wet grass. She had almost made it down to the fjord, a narrow sea of blue that welcomed raindrops from the clouded sky. Northern mountains locked in the valley, topped with snow that had gallantly survived the summer heat. 

Protected by a rain jacket, he walked the length of the green hill, eyes narrowed on the golden figure down by the water. Nora was duelling the rain, collecting drops with her tongue while the Rain Gods seemed to make it impossible.

He walked cautiously towards her, hands in pockets and feeling unusually shy. They had the mountain valley to themselves, save for an ambitious fisherman out on the fjord. Something would change before Nicklaus roped her back to the cabin again. He would not leave before she admitted she loved him. 

Closing their space, his ears were subjects to her sugared singing. Strained notes chanted under the dominating sound of rain, but he heard it so clearly, so deeply, like she was singing to him instead of the rain gods. 

‘O gods of life! O gods of strife!’ She spun around under the torrents, barely noticing his presence. ‘Grant us eternal rain and I promise to shut up for I love it so!’

He smiled like a fool down at her, hands moving to stroke her freezing skin. Nipples poked out under her soaked shirt, and her hair was drenched but not less golden. 

She grinned as he wiped her cheeks in vain. The water wouldn’t stop coming, and the drops hit her skin with what felt like malice to him. 

‘Your mother thinks you’re insane,’ he said, head tipping up towards the graying sky, starless and warning. ‘And maybe you are, for lightning is about to strike.’

She tipped her head back and laughed incredulously. ‘The day the world went mad is the day they started fearing nature instead of cherishing it!’

‘Maybe. But fear keeps you alive, Nora. I need you alive.’ Desperately. 

She grinned, wrapping her arms around his neck and succumbing to his warmth. ‘So that’s why you followed me into a storm. You always will, won’t you, Nick?’ She spoke with a strange fascination that slightly enraged him. ‘Josh would never catch a cold for me, but you would, why?’

His hand traced the length of her waist. ‘Because I love you. Because I’m a fool.’

‘I know you do, and I love you too. I love that you are a fool.’

He buried a groan in her neck. ‘No, you don’t know. You don’t know how I love you.’

Nora stilled for a moment. He felt her heart race against his chest. ‘Then tell me,’ she said carefully. ‘Tell me how you love me?’

Gosh, she was killing him. 

‘I love you…’ he said at first, feeling like the words would strangle him…‘like you love the rain….like you love wine…like you love to be carefree. I’m consumed by you…like you are consumed by the world.’

Her eyebrows drew together, and her body stilled under his touch. ‘That’s a whole lot of love, Nicklaus.’

He tucked a golden lock behind her ear. ‘Enough to last a lifetime…if you want me?’

‘Oh, Nick. I do, I just…‘ she spoke urgently, sounding like she cried. But he couldn’t tell the raindrops apart from the tears so he wasn’t sure. ‘I can’t…’

‘Why? Why can’t you, Nora?’

She remained quiet, her gaze trailing past him to the man who had stopped just meters away. 

‘It’s time to go inside, darling,’ Josh said, speaking with an edge. 

‘I’ll be right there,’ Nora hurried out.

‘You’ll come right now. This is no way to act for a pregnant lady.’

Nicklaus’s heart sank and drowned in the fjord right there. He wanted to confront Josh at this blatant lie, but he couldn’t, for all he felt was a darkness equal to the one the rain gods had created in the sky. Unpredictable fury of which strikes of malice were born.

He wanted Nora to look him in the eyes and tell him she wasn’t carrying the child of another man. Not when she had promised herself to him for so long. But she didn’t, and after she passed him, their eyes never met again. He was left behind like some sort of sinner that had lead her astray under the storm.

Josh smiled to himself and approached Nicklaus with two degrading pats on his shoulder. ‘Look, mate,’ he said, sighing. ‘I get it, you’re her best mate an’ all. But maybe it’s time to let her go, eh? What that girl needs is someone who’ll put her in place whenever she’s being a childish bitch. Not someone who’ll run after her into a goddamn storm!’

Anger stirred in Nicklaus’s eyes. Josh drew his eyebrows together, sympathy written all over his face. ‘Gosh, she’s really strung you along, hasn’t she? I almost feel bad for ya.’

He smiled, shaking his head to himself before he followed his pregnant lover back to the cabin……

‘And after that?’ Maria demanded, wild and eager for my story. ‘I can’t believe she chose her fiancé when she clearly loved her best friend! I mean, it was so obvious!’

‘Mhm,’ I murmured, cupping her jaw and let my hand run down her blushing cheek.

‘So what happened?’ Her blue eyes stared up at me expectantly.

‘Nicklaus never saw her again.’

Her eyes grew wide. ‘But, but he loved her so much! How could he ever give her up?!’

I smirked, running my hands through her golden hair. ‘He didn’t, my love. He found Nora many times after that. Wild, innocent girls who were too oblivious to realize what he would too to them. How he would love them. Obsess over them. Own them. For eternity.’

Maria stilled and terror struck in her eyes like lightning. 

My thumb grazed over her full lips. I clicked my tongue in satisfaction, savouring the view of my terrified little angel. 

‘Obsession is quickly turned sadistic, love. Sometimes also…notorious.’