The Unbreakable Stars

Mues yawned, closing his eyes and feeling the slight prickle of the grass as he stretched. His eyelids fluttered back open finding themselves refreshed by the sparkling night sky. Mues had always taken comfort in the starry sky. He knew it had the power to both comfort him and focus his thoughts. Mues was amazed that something that seemed so unconnected could come together into something that even Mues couldn’t find a way to break apart. He relied on that. He used the night sky’s impenetrability to propel him through the day. Mues had a habit of breaking everything in his world down into smaller and smaller pieces until it became too much and he drowned in his own thoughts. Whenever he felt as if he was drowning, Mues remembered the night sky and it’s sprinkling of stars to bring him back to reality. Mues often found himself falling asleep under the stars and having to sneak back inside to his room late at night so as not to disturb his parents. His parents had never quite understood Mues’ mind and what to them seemed like an obsession with stars. They had always been there for him though and he was grateful for their support even though they were a little confused by him . One Christmas his parents had given him many star related gifts because they thought he wanted to be an astronomer. He loved all of the gifts especially the ceiling stars but not because he wanted to be an astronomer. Mues secretly desired to be a lawyer but he never dewelled on the thought long because he would begin to get lost in the small details. Mues liked school but every new school day brought more things for him to analyze to pieces. He had cruised through the learning of freshman and sophomore years but had missed most of his social activities because by the time he had picked his way through his thoughts about whether to go or not it was already over. Mues pledged to the stars laying under their glittering sky that he would make junior year different. That was a tall order considering how little time he had. The first day of Mues’ junior year was one night away. Quietly Mues climbed into his room though his open window careful not to knock over the telescope on the way in. While he layed in bed staring up at his glow in the dark ceiling, Mues made himself a mental goal list.

1. Make a new friend
2. Ask a girl to a school dance
3. Go to a football game 

He knew the list was cheesy but he also knew he needed it if he was going to fulfill his pledge to the stars. Mues visualized the stars as he got dressed for school. His mind raced with details about each clothing choice he made second guessing what each one would say about him. Finally after many visualizations he was dressed in his favorite jeans and constellation t shirt.

  “How much longer up there?” his mom called from down stairs “Much longer and you won't have time for breakfast.”

“I’ll be down in a minute.” Mues replied. He almost found it funny that his mom had even mentioned breakfast knowing that he rarely ever ate lunch or dinner let alone breakfast. Mues was always hungry but he had learned that if he started to get lost in his own thoughts on a full stomach he would lose it all which only served to throw him further into his mind where only the stars could reach him. Mues rushed down the steps and grabbed his stuff and the lunch his mom had made for him off the counter before rushing out to his car. He rarely ever ate the lunch she packed but he didn’t have the heart to tell her to stop because she seemed to really enjoy being able to do something for him everyday. Driving had always been hard for Mues. He couldn’t close his eyes while driving which meant no stars so he found himself second guessing every decision he made. When he finally reached his school before even getting out of the car, Mues took a few deep breaths remembering last night's sky and reminding himself of the pledge and the list. He made his way to his locker making an effort to smile and look approachable to his classmates. Mues worried that his demeanor wasn’t well received probably because most of them had never seen him smile but he forced himself to keep it up because of his promise to the stars. When he reached his locker the girl who had the locker to the right of him had her locker door open so that he couldn’t get to his locker. her back was turned to Mues so he tried to get her attention nicely by saying hey a few times. She didn’t turn around. Mues was getting frustrated with her and confused about what to do next to get her attention. A part of his brain wanted to close their locker door to get to him but another told him to try again and use this opportunity to maybe complete number one on his mental checklist.

“Ummm excuse me.” Mues said almost whispering as he tapped them on the shoulder. 

“ Oh sorry I didn’t even realize.” Said one of the prettiest girls he had ever talked to granted that list wasn’t very long and mainly consisted of teachers and his mom. She quickly pulled out the earbuds Mues hadn't even noticed. His brain kicked itself for not noticing them when it noticed so many other random things. Had he been too harsh because he hadn't noticed what if she hated him now so much for crossing off number one. To his surprise she turned and shyly smiled at him and told him her name was Emilea but she rather he called her Em and that she was new to the school. He smiled back maybe number one was still attainable. For one she didn’t already know him which he thought could be the fresh start he needed to find a new friend and secondly Mues already knew her name which meant he wouldn’t have to dig through his brain for a way to ask without sounding weird or like himself and scare her away.  

“Well okay then. I’ll see you around I guess.” Em said awkwardly. Mues realized that he had just been standing staring blankly at Em.

“I’m Mues.” He bursted before she could walk away and he would lose his chance to complete number one. Em smiled at him and told him she had to get going because she didn’t want to be late on her first day and she still had to find the English class rooms. Mues didn't want to be late either but he found himself offering to show her before he could even second guess himself. She thanked him as she blushed slightly. Mues was surprised he noticed after all he wasn’t used to noticing people's expressions mostly because he wasn’t used to looking at them for more than a second or two. They made their way to the English wing in complete silence and made it there just before the bell rang. Mues had to run to make it to his math class down the hall before the late bell. He spent most of math second guessing all of his encounter with Em. He decided after thinking of the stars that he had done well and that he would keep trying to be more social starting with becoming friends with Em.

Mues fiddled with the thought of rushing to meet her after math class but eventually found that to be too forward. Still determined to become friends with her he decided he would invite her to sit with him at lunch. The next two hours passed fairly quickly considering Mues spent most of the time considering his lunch with Em. He used the stars in his mind to reassure him after each thought or idea that what he had landed on was right and would help him cross off number one on his goal list. Finally the lunch bell rang and Mues dashed out of his Physics class to get to the cafeteria before Em. He didn’t bother to stop and grab his lunch in his haste to beat Em to the lunch room. It didn’t matter anyway it wasn’t like he was going to eat it. Mues burst through the doors of the cafeteria before the lunch lines were even open. He was pleased that he had not only beaten Em but the whole lunch period which meant he could choose a table that would give him a good view of the room so he could casually bump into her again to invite her to sit with him. Mues was so lost in thought that he hadn’t even realized that the lunch crowd had begun to arrive. He snapped to attention silently praying to the stars that he hadn’t missed her. When Mues didn’t spot her as the last few people began to trickle through the doors he began to spiral thinking what if she didn’t even have this lunch or what if she had gone home sick. He knew he had to calm himself and so he did the only way he knew how. Mues closed his eyes and took deep breaths while seeing the constellations that he had memorized by heart. His pulse slowed and his thoughts cleared and he opened his eyes and Mues saw her. Em had just pushed the cafeteria doors open when Mues saw her. Mues jumped into action barely missing a freshman that he hadn’t noticed walking by. He snuck over as discreetly as he could and when her back was turned and he was sure she had nothing in her hands he bumped into her from behind. 

“Oh, sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” Mues said, trying his best to sound surprised and apologetic at the same time. “You said you were new here earlier? Right? You can sit with me over there.” He said pointing to his table. 

“You remembered that?” Em mumbled to the floor.

“So do you want to sit with me?” Mues questioned, nervously fidgeting with his hands. A thought of the stars was the only thing keeping Mues from getting so lost in worry that he would run away from his goals. 

“Umm yeah I guess.” Em responded hesitantly. She followed him to the table that he had gestured too. Mues was running through his thoughts searching for a good way to start a conversation with Em. 

“What’s your favorite color?” Mues finally blurted out when the silence was becoming heavy. Em blushed and looked passed Mues. Mues wondered if he had said something wrong but how could he all he did was ask her what her favorite color his brain argued. 

“My favorite color is a sunset pink it reminds me of the sunset that I used to watch outside my window almost everyday at my old house.” Em said thinking back to her old room and its familiar comforting view. Mues thanked the stars that Em had answered his question and that he wouldn’t have to figure out how to smooth over it.

“Why did you move?” Mues asked and immediately regretted.What if she didn’t want to talk about the move because then again she hadn’t brought it up without blushing or staring at the floor.  Em didn’t want to answer but she couldn’t block out the first person who was truly friendly to her here. Could she?

“My dad got a new job here at a … museum.” she said biting her lip. Mues knew she was lying both because of how she said it and the fact that the closest museum was an hour away. Mues’ brain fought whether to call Em out on her lie  and risk losing his chances or letting it drop and have the true gnawing at his mind. He didn’t need to make a decision because the bell rang and they both had to rush off to class. It turned out that they both had World history next. Mues offered to walk with Em to class but she excused herself to the bathroom leaving Mues to walk to class alone. He thought of the stars to slow his pulse after the nerve racking lunch. Em wandered into history just after the late bell. Ms.Bell, her teacher thanked her for finding the time to show up to class rather sarcastically. She slipped into the last open seat. Her face was burning with embarrassment when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Em turned to the right to see who had tapped her and noticed Mues a few rows back.

“Hey, are you okay, you're really red.” whispered the girl next to her.

“Yeah, just a bit embarrassed. I’m new here and I couldn’t find the class.” Em said quietly. She thought that the girl next to her was quite nice.

“Ms.Bell is really nice as long as you aren’t late. That is her pet peeve. I had her last year for US history. I’m Lauren by the way.” she said smiling. 

“I’m Emilea.” she said timidly. “But call me Em.”

“So if you're new here does that make me your first friend?” Lauren said excitedly. The class had released for group reading which meant the room was growing louder and louder hiding her conversation.

“ Umm well no I met this guy this morning and sat with him at lunch. Actually he offered to walk me to this class which I realize now I should have accepted. I wouldn’t have been late.” Em said fast almost as if she was ashamed although she didn’t know why.

“OOO who is this guy?” Lauren asked, smiling. Em reassured herself that she was just being nice, not nosy.

“ His name is Mues. He is over there.” Em pointed in his direction “ But you probably already know him since you go here. Sorry.”

“Mues? Like that Mues over there?” Lauren said, sounding surprised.

“Yeah.” Em said feeling scared of what Lauren would say next based on her tone.

“ It’s just that he’s like the cutest guy in school and I’ve never seen him talk to a girl in the eleven years I’ve known him. Good for you.” Lauren said, sounding impressed. Em hadn’t noticed how good looking Mues was because she had been focused on other things every time they had talked but now sitting at her desk she saw the gold flecks in his eyes and the overall handsomeness. 

“It’s not like that were just friends at least I think so.” Em said, still gazing at Muse. Mues noticed that Em was staring at him. He had never noticed before although several boys had told him that girls were always looking at him. Mues smiled maybe he could accomplish both one and two towards his promise to the stars. The bell rang pulling his thoughts from the stars and back to his last hours of the day. The rest of the day passed and Mues rushed back to his locker so he could catch Em before she left. When Em arrived at her locker Mues was waiting for her smiling. Em blushed, she wondered if he had waited for her. Mues couldn’t think of something to say he just stood smiling at Em. She blushed even more.

“ I guess i’ll see you tomorrow then.” Em said.

“See you tomorrow Em.” Mues said waving as she headed out the front doors. Muse laid stretched out on the grass watching the sunset waiting for the stars to appear. The sunsets colors remind him of Em not that he needed much reminding he hadn’t gotten her off his mind since he got home. When the stars came up Mues gazed into them as he mentally crossed off number one on his list. He thought about how Em had lied about why they moved. Mues began to worry about why she hadn't told him the truth but he thought of the stars and he smiled to himself as his thoughts quieted and he had one thought of all the good in Em. Mues had never felt this way before like there was a constant tickle in his stomach but he had heard enough about love that he knew this was just the beginning. With a final deep breath he took one last look at the night sky before closing his eyes and falling asleep under the stars.