A Puppets Soul

The distant yelling was grating; the phantom voices would keep screaming and pleading for help. That was until the stage was lit and the play started. I stood by, ready to push the next prop on stage, breathing heavily behind my mask. Even after a year of doing laborious jobs in this mask, I still found myself easily exhausted. Some days I wanted to quit and just do art like I always dreamed of. But the words my parents said always reminded me.

“We need you to work hard to pay us back.”

The scene change came, and I stood behind the big tree prop and rolled it out while avoiding the puppets on stage. When I was on the other side of the set, I felt the familiar feeling of being poked.

“Lin, you look tired already.”

Of course, I was tired. We had run this play four times today. Luckily this was the last show, but I wondered who wanted to see these cursed puppets put on a play. 

“I’m fine, just been having a hard time sleeping lately.”

Technically I wasn’t lying.

“How about you, Tone? You were breathing pretty heavily earlier.”

It was meant more as a jab than genuine concern. In the year I had known Tone, I knew that they had no problem working here. 

“I can tell you really care. But I am fine just acting tired, so you don’t feel bad for being the weakest one here.”

It was followed with a laugh from Tone, and I laughed as well. More out of social etiquette since I hated how everyone here considered me weak physically and mentally. 

“Only 20 minutes. Hang in there, Lin.”

Tone patted my back and walked away to the costume change area. I tried to distract myself from the negative thoughts sprouting up by working even harder than before. When the play ended, I wanted to go home and just sleep. However, having to repaint a set piece had me smelling like oil paint now, and I needed a shower. I drove home, only removing my mask once I was behind closed doors.

I felt tense and sore. Lately, more and more plays have been featured. That meant more people were rebelling and getting punished for it. I wouldn’t end up like them, I vowed to myself long ago. I took a shower feeling refreshed, before eating something small and passing out. With sleep, however, came dreams of those phantom voices; I could never escape them. I only managed to get maybe 4 hours of sleep after waking up and seeing the time on the clock. 

“Another day of labor, yay.”

It wasn’t spirited, only making me feel more depressed. Sure the pay was good, but the danger and the mental and physical damage I got working behind the stage was hardly worth it. I drove to work again, securing my mask to my face before leaving the house. It seemed busy, busier than usual, when I got inside the building. 

“Hey, what’s going on?”

The person I stopped to ask looked at me and answered brusquely.

“We just got a batch of new puppets; the director is coming here to direct the play personally tonight.”

I felt my blood run cold; this was bad. Usually, when the director came, he would personally choose someone from backstage to debut on the stage. I may find the job exhausting, but I didn’t want to end up on that stage playing a part in those cursed shows. I swallowed and took a deep breath before going through the doors and into the hallway to the meeting room. Anytime the director was here, we always had a staff meeting where everyone attended. He even insisted that those on stage attend to with a table reserved just for them. 

“Great, now that we are all here, I just wanted to say you all have done such an amazing job this last month.”

I took a seat as far away from him as possible at the other end of the table, trying to focus. Fear kept me from altogether paying attention, however, and I couldn’t stop worrying that I would be put on stage next. Suddenly my name was called, and I jerked my head in the direction of the sound. It was the director wearing his usual ominous smile filled with joy.

“I heard that you are slacking a bit at your job Lin.”

I froze; oh no, I was going to be put on stage for sure now.

“However, I disagree, how you walk and sit trying to withstand the soreness and pain in your body. You work so hard, yet so many people call you weak. I do feel bad for you, Lin. So as a reward for all the hard work, I want you to tell me who you think deserves to go on stage.”

Everyone’s eyes were glued to me now; why was I given this choice? I wanted just to blend in and stay unnoticed; who cares if everyone thought I was stupid or weak.

His cold dead eyes but cheerful smile only served to make me more anxious as I began to stammer.

“S-sir, I can’t p-possibly choose one person.”

I didn’t want to choose; this was all wrong.

“Do you want to go on stage then?”

I jumped up, startled by his words.

“N-no, I just. I just.”

My words trailed off; the director’s smile never faltered, however.

“Well, if you don’t have an opinion on it, then I think I will choose you.”

Before I could stop myself, I began blurting out words in a panic.

“No, sir! I choose Tone! They deserve it!”

Tone shot up from their seat and walked over to me, and grabbed me by the collar. They were stronger than me, as evidenced by how they lifted me off the ground. Their menacing and hate-filled gaze made me want to run away.

“You fuckin bitch! I was your friend for an entire year! Everyone made fun of you, but I always stayed by your side!”

The room was hush, filled with only Tone’s heavy breathing after their outburst. I cringed, closing my eyes as I feared I would be hit. But even still, everything they said was a blatant lie. Sure, while they stuck by me, they never had my back and usually just teased me as everyone else did.

“Tone put her down; being nominated to be on stage is a joyous thing, you know.” 

The director said forcefully, making Tone drop me with trembling hands now. The director stood up from his seat, and before Tone could react, their mask was forcefully taken off their face. Under the mask, I saw Tone crying with clenched teeth. No matter how shitty Tone was to me even, I thought they didn’t deserve this. Yet, I still condemned them in my fear of being picked.

Tone stepped back, panicking as they looked around the room. No one even offered a look of pity just kept their heads down silent as they listened to everything.

“Why Lin?” 

Tone ran off through the doors and probably far away the next second. However, it was pointless now, as their mask was already taken off, and they were seen. I fell back in my chair and could only watch as the director stared lovingly at the mask in his hand. I think I was in shock because the next thing I remember is the director dismissing us all back at his original seat now. Tone was nowhere to be seen, guilt and self-hate threatened to consume me, but I buried it, knowing it would only crush me.

We already had the next script and details for what the director wanted, so we had to get to work. If we were deemed useless, we would end up just like Tone; it was the only way to survive in this world. I sat on the floor with my paintbrush in hand, looking over the paper describing the desired look for the prop I held. My hand couldn’t move, though; it shook too much to make anything look even remotely good.

When the day was over, and my shift was over, I tried to slip away silently. The director’s voice came from behind me as I got to the entrance.

“Lin, come and see me in the meeting room.”

His words sounded without hostility, but none of his words ever did, even when he said the most twisted things. I swallowed and took a couple of breaths before turning around and following him. If I was going to be punished, I deserved it; I thought as I took a seat near him.

“I wanted to ask you something, Lin. And be honest with me, do you like this job?”

My leg bounced as I tried to stay calm; I would surely be punished if I lied. 

“I don’t, sir.”

I said, fearing if I lied more than what I actually thought.

“I see; well, I wanted to comment on your work. You graduated from an art college, correct? Why did you take this job?”

The question caught me off guard; I found myself looking at the director in the eyes as I thought about what to say.

“I had to, or else I couldn’t pay my family back.”

The director leaned back with a contemplative look now.

“I have observed how you work, Lin, and your talents are better suited doing something rather than just painting props and set parts.”

Here it was. I was going to be on stage, I knew it; no matter how hard I worked, I would have my mask taken.

“I want to offer you a position as art director for the puppets.”

I blinked, unsure of how to take in the information just given to me. Being the art director for the puppets on stage meant working even closer with the actors. I would hear their cries for help even louder. I would be haunted even more by them.

“If you accept, I would never put you on the stage. And I can’t just let you quiet, besides why would I want to keep an employee doing a job they don’t like?”

I had buried my own grave; I would be put on stage if I didn’t accept. On the other hand, the ones whose masks were stolen and resided in these puppets would haunt my dreams even more. I didn’t want to be like one of them.

“I accept, sir.”

My answer didn’t sound enthusiastic at all, but the director grinned as if he had just won a million dollars.

“Perfect, tomorrow you will be working closely with me to make this play the best yet. It will be your debut, so I expect great things.”

Did this mean I would have to face Tone’s hate-filled words every day now? I stood up, feeling numb as I felt far too overwhelmed to give any good reaction to any of this. I was let go shortly, but even as I drove home, I couldn’t help thinking about what torture I would have to endure just to keep on surviving like I always had. Maybe with this new job, I could pay off my debt faster was the only thing that gave me any semblance of hope.

When I got to work the next day, I was greeted by the director, and everyone looked at me warily, not daring to say anything bad about me with the director around. I was taken to a back room with the phantom voices getting louder the closer I got to it. Inside was the wooden puppets sitting against the wall in almost pitch blackness. The director pulled out Tones mask and approached one of the puppets; it was silent, for now. As soon as he placed the mask on the puppet’s face, curses and screams of anger came from it, nearly drowning out all the other puppet’s voices. 

I felt sick just listening to them all; my head hurt. The director stepped back and spread his arms with a satisfied smile.

“Ah, I love hearing them all; they are so beautiful. Tone so angry yet so full of passion and emotion. They are so loud.”

I wanted to run away and escape; it was impossible now. The mask that was once just a plain white mask with some small music notes on the forehead began to sink into the wooden puppets head. The director stood beside me with a cheerful grin.

“Now, let’s get to figuring out how we want to paint these souls, Lin.”

I would never escape these voices now; Tone would forever be screaming at me, saying over and over again that it was my fault.