Lost and Found

Sabine looked up at the millions of stars, marveling at the fact that they were the very same ones her beloved family could quite possibly be looking at, at the very same time. They twinkled brightly in the inky black sky, winking at her as if to say, “Don’t give up. We are here to guide you.” Sabine looked around, searching for something, anything, that would confirm this but she saw nothing. Nothing except miles and miles of forest blanketed in white under a thick carpeting of snow. 

A breeze whispered through the air and Sabine shivered in the silent night, pulling her thin coat tighter across her body. It had been mid afternoon when she had set out on her walk just two days before, and the temperature had been warmer. But when the sun had gone down, so had the temperature, plummeting into the high 20’s or low 30’s, probably. All was silent and despite her anxiety and fear, Sabine took a moment to pause and take in the beauty surrounding her. The shimmering, frozen drops of water hanging from the thin needles of the pine trees sparkled like diamonds. The sky was clear, and moonlight bounced off the snow making it glow, and creating eery shadows from the branches of the old, gnarled trees wherever she looked. “Ironic, isn’t it, that such beauty can coexist with such fear?,” she thought. In all her 13 years, she had never been as terrified or felt more alone than she did at that moment.

Sabine could have easily been waylaid by the peaceful, dreamlike setting but knew she could not be deterred. She felt as though she had been walking forever. Her legs felt heavy and tight and her breathing had become heavy. Her forehead was covered with a cold sweat and she was so hungry. Her last meal of a delicious beef stew laden with extra carrots seemed as though it was years ago, though really she had just eaten it for lunch two days earlier. Since then, all she had eaten was a pack of peanuts she found stashed in her pocket. Despite all of this, she continued walking.

Everything was starting to look the same and she realized that for all she knew, she could be walking in circles. Each tree looked identical to the one before it.There was nothing else- no rocks, no other landmarks to tell her she was or wasn’t headed in a new direction. The thought exhausted her and all of a sudden, she felt overwhelmed with a strong urge to lie down, face first in the snow- to just go to sleep and never wake up, and let nature take its course. However, something inside her would not allow her to give up. She briefly closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, followed by a slow, long, exhale, white puffs of air emanating from her mouth. She opened her eyes, squared her shoulders, and set off with determined steps. The moon followed behind her, silently.

As she walked, she let her mind drift to another time in this same forest, a luxury she had not yet allowed herself. She saw a large cabin, the front windows glowing from the roaring fire inside that snapped and crackled as the flames danced merrily. There were 16 people in the cabin- her mother and father, her 2 younger sisters and her 2 older brothers, her aunt, who was her mother’s sister, her uncle, and her cousins. The younger children lay sprawled out on the plush couches facing the fire or on soft, fluffy cushions scattered on the floor, reading, or doing crossword puzzles, The older ones had congregated on the front porch to catch up and gossip, away from the prying ears of their parents. They braved the cold, thick afghans wrapped snugly over their laps, warm woolen hats pulled down tight over their ears. Their cheeks and noses were bright red from the cold but they didn’t care. They were just happy to be together again.

Inside, her mother and her aunt were chatting and chuckling quietly in their overstuffed chairs imprinted with roses, the very same ones that had been in the cabin since it was first built by Great Great Grandpa James way back in the early 1900’s. Of course the cabin had been updated a great deal since then- central air for the summer, modern appliances in the kitchen, a few extra bedrooms and bathrooms to accommodate the rapidly growing family. Nevertheless, the cozy warmth of the cabin still existed and the memories that had been created there over the years were endless. She had learned to kayak while visiting the cabin one summer. It was here that she had first discovered the joy of chasing fireflies in the early evening humidity. It was here, two summers ago, that she had experienced her very first kiss from Andrew Cooper, whose family owned a cabin not far from hers.

Her mind shifted to her father and her uncle who were making popcorn and hot chocolate in the kitchen using her great great grandfather’s secret recipe, one that Sabine and her cousins had tried multiple times unsuccessfully to get their hands on over the years.. Sabine could almost smell the salty-sweetness wafting from the kitchen, making her mouth water. She smiled slightly as she envisioned the two men, singing loudly as they worked, their off key voices permeating the room, resulting in everyone smiling to themselves. Sabine’s eyes filled with tears at the memory. Would she ever find the cabin? Would she ever see any of them again? She knew how dangerous it was to think this way but she was so cold, so scared, and so alone...

A loud snap caused Sabine to jump and she was jolted out of her memory, back in the cold, dark forest, alone and shivering. Her eyes darted around her to see what had made the noise. She saw nothing- just the miles and miles of snow that stretched endlessly before her. She was thinking she must have imagined the noise when she heard it again. “Snap!” Then came the soft yet distinct sound of boots crunching through unblemished snow. She froze, unsure of what to do. The little hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she realized that she was most definitely not alone. She slowly backed away, taking refuge behind the thick trunk of a tree. She cautiously peeked her head out slightly. At the same time a tall, thin figure stepped into the moonlight. Upon seeing the tall, lanky figure with the broad shouldrs and the familiar, well worn straw hat perched on the figures head, pulled down low and hiding what Sabine knew would be alarmingly bright green eyes, Sabine’s breath caught in her throat. As tears began to roll down her cheeks, she once again looked up at the stars. “Thank you,” she whispered. Closing her eyes, she prepeated “Thank you.”