It's Not A Cat

Sheriff Thompson trained his rifle at his target, it had been a while since he shot at anything but years of experience as a former army sniper was not something you forget completely. It was noisier than he expected this late at night in the forest, but the cool forest breeze made the last hour or so more tolerable. He peered into the scope and lined the middle of the crosshairs on the target, a black, Bombay house cat.

Perched on a fallen log, its sleek black coat glistened in the moonlight, it was obviously well maintained which was not surprising given who it’s owner was. His rifle was a single-shot tranquilizer gun, which meant he only had one shot; his elusive target would have bolted long before he reloaded. He loaded the .50 caliber dart tipped with a hypodermic needle into the gun, took a deep breath and held it. That’s it kitty, just sit there and lick your paw. He pulled the trigger and almost immediately, cursed.

The cat disappeared from his crosshairs almost as soon as he pulled the trigger, he would have been impressed if he was not so frustrated. He knew being a sheriff of a small town meant a drastic change of pace, but this was just humiliating. He stood up and walked towards the cat’s last location to retrieve his dart and hopefully pick up its trail again.

The Sheriff was forced to pause before he reached, the cat was still there, hissing towards a small bush. He kept still when he heard the distinctive “rattle”, a sound that made his blood go cold as ice. With exaggerated slowness, he turned towards the bush to see the reptile slither out swiftly, coiling up and ready to confront it’s provoker.

The Sheriff swiped his hands at the cat in a failed attempt to get it to back off. The cat maintained its stare at the snake and escalated its hissing. This animal was going to get us both killed, the Sheriff thought. He took a step forward and placed himself between the two animals, the cat killed was unfortunately the worst-case scenario for the Sheriff. He backed up several steps away from the snake, hoping the cat would also do so if only to avoid being stepped on.

After reaching a distance he felt was safe, the Sheriff turned around to retrieve the cat, only to see it was gone. He was sweating profusely at this point, the cool night air was no longer effective. The Sheriff decided his night excursion was over, it was time to go back and try baiting the little black devil instead. He was approaching his car when he noticed the tires were flat and upon closer inspection, he saw claw marks.

That little rascal. Thankfully there were spare tires in the boot of his car, something the Sheriff was adamant it remained stocked. He swapped the tires and was on his way back to the small police station in the middle of town a few minutes later. It was fortuitous timing too since a sudden downpour hit the place. He chuckled at the thought that the cat was probably drenched somewhere and utterly regretting that it left its comfortable confines.

He returned to see the black cat, completely dry, nestling comfortably in the arms of his Deputy.

“What the hell is that doing here!”

“Oh, hi Sir, I caught this little lady scratching the door outside. It was good timing too otherwise this poor creature would have been caught in the rain.” Deputy Linda explained as she rocked the cat in her arms like a baby.

“I spent hours in the damn forest hunting this thing! And here it is playing coy!” The incredulous Sheriff said.

“Hunting?” The Deputy caught sight of the tranquilizer gun in the Sheriff’s hand. “Were you really about to use that on her?” She asked, equally incredulous.

“Relax, it’s a tranq dart, she’ll just take a nap. Then we can return her, and we’ll all get on with our lives.” The Sheriff retorted.

“I think she is scared of you, Sheriff. She can sense you resent her and maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to go with you?”

“It doesn’t sense anything. It is just a cat. And stop cradling that thing like it’s your firstborn, Deputy.” The Sheriff snapped.

“Here’s what’s going to happen, you are going to lock us both in that room with the faulty door. And you are going to get the Mayor and tell him we got his daughter’s cat back, I’m not spending another minute longer than I have to on this.”

The Deputy deposited the cat into its carrier and did as the Sheriff instructed. The room was what would have been the Sheriff’s office, but a faulty lock mechanism on the door meant it could only be locked or unlocked from the outside. The Sheriff left the room empty, convinced it had no utility until now.

Placing the cat carrier on the floor, the Sheriff shifted two chairs into the room before taking his seat on one and propping his leg up on the other. He leaned back and relaxed for the first time in the day. The Sheriff lifted his hand to smoke the cigar he started but saw his hand was empty. He swivelled his head around and through the room’s window, he saw his cigar outside the room, slowly smouldering in an ashtray on his desk. The Sheriff cursed before turning towards the cat, which was staring blankly at him through the cage door of its carrier. The Sheriff consoled himself it was probably a good thing, God forbid any harm comes to Her Majesty from the cigar smoke.

The Sheriff was rudely awakened by the reflex that prevented him from falling off the chair. The opened cage door of the cat carrier immediately caught his eye, and he got up in a panic. His eyes finally landed on the black cat perched on his desk, outside the room. He scrambled to the door and tried its handle, it remained locked!

He stood there dumbstruck for a moment, attempting to make sense of the situation when the fire alarm buzzed through the station. He peered through the window again and saw the drapes near his desk outside was on fire, his eyes followed the flames down to the source, his cigar. Damn cat must have tipped it over, the Sheriff thought. The fire was not big enough to be of concerned, but the sprinklers came on anyway.  

Deputy Linda came through the door moments later to a drenched office. She unlocked the room where the Sheriff was, who trudged out heavier than usual and disappeared into the station’s toilet. Deputy Linda walked towards the Sheriff’s desk and lifted a pile of papers on it, water dripped down rapidly to demonstrate the extent of it being soaked. She kept a habit of locking up all her paperwork away in a drawer whenever she left the station, but she kept herself from feeling grateful that she did, it seemed a little cruel at this point.

“The Mayor?” The Sheriff emerged some time later in a new set of dry attire while rubbing his hair furiously with a towel.

“He says his daughter is already asleep, they’ll be back in the morning for the cat.” The Deputy replied. “The cat is still here, right Sir?”

“That, Deputy, is not a cat. You know before I came here I was a top agent in my department. I hunted down fugitives, criminals and even ex-military, I always catch what I hunt. Trust me Deputy, that thing is not just a cat!”

The Sheriff had a wild look in his eyes as he ranted, the Deputy wondered if it was something deeper but decided it was hardly the time to probe. “Sir, it’s pretty late and your wife called, sounding a little worried. Maybe you should go home and rest, I’ll take care of Matilda.”

The Sheriff gave a puzzled look to his Deputy, who gestured a figure of a cat to explain. The Sheriff finally nodded in resignation to his Deputy, “Alright Deputy, we’ll take care of this in the morning.”

The Sheriff returned home to see it was dark and quiet, his family were sound asleep for some time. He headed up to his room and without changing his clothes, collapsed on the bed. His wife, briefly disturbed by the act, turned to see his still body lying face down on the bed. Someone had a long day, she thought before going back to sleep.

Opening his eyes briefly, the Sheriff caught a shadow extending into the room through the window, slowly forming the silhouette of a cat in a sitting position. He contemplated getting up for it, but exhaustion triumphed. I’ll get you in the morning, he vowed before allowing his heavy eyelids to set.