Speak Up

Ryan watched from the edge of the lunchroom table as the four 7th graders sat down a few seats away from him. He recognized them as the kids in all of his classes: the popular, outgoing, smart, and helpful kids everyone seemed to look up to. The kids who got 100s in Math 3, of all classes. The kids who brought glory to Weddington Middle School through winning math competitions and reading the most books. No one else was on the level of Ava Wong, Rishi Chandra, Kevin Huang, and Amun Kera, otherwise known as The Group. 

Ryan, who had just transferred from the other side of town, was as far from them as possible. On his very first day, he had foolishly worn a “GO MONROE MIDDLE! REDHAWKS FOR THE WIN!” T-shirt. Right before the Great Big Football Game between Weddington and Monroe. The one that would determine the playoff results. An 8th grader, of all the students in the school, had noticed. According to gossip, the 8th grader had made a TikTok video of him walking down the hallway, with “We Will Rock You” playing in the background. 

Amun, with two interested girls on either side of him, was telling a story about a math camp he had attended over the summer. He was a short, but quite muscular boy. Everyone liked him because of his funny stories and respected him because he had a pair of Yeezys for every day of the week. Coincidentally, Ryan was also at the camp. 

“And then the professor shows us these calculus problems, and he’s like ‘If you can solve ‘em, I’ll give you a piece of candy.’ So there are these 12th graders in the back, right? They keep flicking spitballs into my hair and calling me ‘dumb baby’, right? At the end, you know ya boy got all the candy! And those dumb babies were like”- Amun opened his mouth as far as it could go and slapped the table. Everyone was laughing now. The girls on either side of him clapped excitedly, the candy bracelets on their wrists jiggling. Ryan opened his mouth to say that he also got all the problems done, but Rishi began to speak instead. “Funny joke bro. If you can do all those calculus problems, then how come you got a 95 on that math quiz yesterday?” 

The girls giggled.

 “Let’s not forget the 90 he got on that ELA analysis chart,” Ava interjected.

“Hey, we all got a 90 on that chart! Remember yesterday in the treehouse we did it together? Only nerds get 100s all the time in ELA,” Amun said, a look of indignance crossing his face. He stuck his tongue out at Ava. Ryan opened his mouth, about to say that he got a 100, but closed it quickly. He didn’t want the coolest kids in school to call him a nerd.

“Alright,” Rishi said. “Fair point.” At that moment, the lunch bell rang, and Ryan tossed the remains of his sandwich into the garbage. “See you in the treehouse!” Kevin called over his shoulder. “Today, we’re studying for Mathcounts!” Mathcounts was an exciting math competition in the form of a quiz bowl. Somehow, Ryan had made it into the team. However, he ranked depressingly low, because he was afraid of saying his answers, afraid of getting them wrong. Weddington had been 1st in the county last year, and as a result The Group now had the same status as the jocks and cheerleaders. Ryan really didn’t want to let them down.

Ryan walked into his math class and groaned. On the board was written “NEW SEATING ARRANGEMENTS”. Ryan Adama was right next to Ava Wong, Amun Kera, Rishi Chandragupta, Kevin Huang, and Ameer Hussain. Great. Just what he needed. I can’t wait to make a fool of myself in front of The Group. Ameer was absent when the bell rang, so Ryan had to face them alone. Wonderful.

“Now,” Mrs. Kim said, walking over to their table, “Ameer is out sick for this week. Ava, would you please bring him the notes? I have an extra stack, and I can give you his address.” Ava raised her hand.

“Mrs. Kim, I really would, but sadly, I have swim team today. I also need to prepare for Mathcounts, and the Honors Band concert is next Saturday.” 

Mrs. Kim smiled. “Well, we certainly can’t afford to lose to Marvin Ridge this year. Mr. Adama, why don’t you do it?” Ryan stared at the address and groaned inside. Ameer lived in the Western Union district, which was nearly 7 miles away. He was about to say that he also had Mathcounts practice, but hesitated for a fraction of a second, and Mrs. Kim walked away. 

“But I’m doing Mathcounts too-” Ryan mumbled under his breath as he sank lower in his chair.

The class progressed, and Ryan couldn’t understand what Mrs. Kim was saying about trig functions or whatever it was. Several times, he was about to raise his hand and ask, but stopped himself. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of all the smart kids. They would think I was dumb. 

At the end of the day, Ryan couldn’t get out of school fast enough. He hopped aboard his mom’s beat up sedan, shut the door, and sighed. A few kids were pointing and laughing at the worn Monroe Redhawks sticker. 

“Why the long horsey face, babe?” Mrs. Adama asked. She straightened her colorful headwrap and looked into the mirror, eyes full of concern about her son. 

Ryan explained, “Ameer in my math group is out sick today. The teacher asked me to deliver the notes- Ameer lives on the other side of Weddington. Now I have to miss Mathcounts. I also didn't understand the stuff the teacher was saying about trigs or whatever. I didn’t want to ask questions ‘cause I didn’t want to look dumb. Did I mention that my math group happens to be the smartest, most popular group in the school?”

Mrs. Adama started laughing.

“Mom!” 

“Well, honey, you need to speak up sometimes. If the teacher knew you were in Mathcounts, and that you lived on the other side of town, she would’ve let you go and she would’ve found another student to deliver the notes. Also, you realize that you’re taking 11th grade math right now, right?” Ryan nodded. “Then, you need to ask for help. I remember when I was in 11th grade math. They taught me a lot of things that were useful for college. Now, I’m a doctor, and I use math every day to analyze data charts, make measurements, etc. You need to ask for help. If those kids really were smart, they wouldn’t judge you for asking, because they themselves had to do it too.” 

Ryan pondered her advice. What Mama’s saying makes sense. If I don’t speak up, people will just dump work on me. In fact, if I can’t communicate what I want, then I’ll never get it.

That night, Ryan wrote the following email to his teacher:

Dear Mrs. Kim,

How are you? I hope you are doing well.

I have some things I want to say. Sorry for not speaking up before.

First of all, I cannot deliver the notes to Ameer. I live on the edge of the Wesley Chapel district, and Ameer’s house is about 7 miles away from mine. My parents can’t take me, as we have one car and Dad is out running errands. Can you have someone who lives closer deliver the notes?

Second of all, I did not understand what you were saying about trig functions. I have signed up for Study Hall tomorrow. I hope you can explain them to me. 

Thank you in advance,

Ryan Adama.

Right after dinner, Ryan went upstairs to check his computer. Mrs. Kim had responded:

Hello Ryan!

I am doing fine, thanks for asking.

I am sorry, I did not realize that you were in Mathcounts too. I can ask someone else who lives in Ameer’s district to deliver the notes. 

I’m happy to help you anytime. You just need to raise your hand. You are doing quite well in Math 3. Your average is a 97, which is a lot better than everyone else’s. Trigonometry is a very challenging subject, and it is not uncommon for people to get Bs and Cs on the exam. I am available for Study Hall tomorrow, please come during your scheduled lunch period.

Thank you for talking to me. You rarely talk in class, and it’s nice to hear your opinion for once, even if it is over a computer. :)

See you tomorrow,

Mrs. Kim

Ryan pumped his fist. Thanks very much, see you tomorrow! he typed, and went to work on his Mathcounts homework. 

The next day, Ryan entered the math classroom during lunch, in high spirits. He had received a 100 on his Social Studies quiz, and his teacher had let the class go early. He sat down in the back, and placed his pencil case and Chromebook on the long table. Mrs. Kim was talking to someone in the front. It was Kevin. Ryan’s eyes grew big. He couldn’t believe that one of the smartest kids was in here, getting help.  

Mrs. Kim looked around the room, eventually resting her eyes on Ryan. “Ryan, please come up to the front. A bunch of people sent me emails yesterday about how difficult trig was, and I decided to have math groups come in here, two by two, for the rest of the week.” Soon, Amun and Ava filed into the classroom, talking with each other. Finally, Rishi came in when the lunch bell rang, as did the other group.

“Please sit at your usual desks. I am proud of you for asking for help. In fact, teachers want you to admit you are having trouble, so that we can revise our lessons accordingly. Today, I will just repeat the finer points of yesterday’s lesson. We will not be doing anything new for the rest of the week but review activities. Please do not hesitate to ask questions.” 

She smiled, passed out worksheets, and started explaining the different ratios of sine, cosine, and tangent. Slowly, it began to click with Ryan. He picked up his worksheet and started working through it. He was the first to do so. At the end of the Study Hall, he handed his worksheet to Mrs. Kim. 

“Thank you very much, ma’am. I really enjoyed today’s lesson, and I think that I understand it all. I will email you and attend tomorrow’s session if I need help again. Have a good day!” Mrs. Kim smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

Ryan walked out of the class, pumping his fist. “Yo Ryan, do you wanna join our study group? We meet in a treehouse near the school, and we’ve been looking for someone like you to help us with the really tricky problems.” 

For the first time since the move, Ryan was able to speak up with 100% confidence. “Yessir! I would love to come; hit me up with that address!” And just like that, Ryan was a part of The Group.