Here comes the sun

I’m so excited to watch them come back home after school. They all look so excited and little Olivia is doing so well in her first year of prep school. I love that her uniform just hangs off her tiny frame and the way she screws her nose up before she laughs is truly adorable. And what is she holding today? Oh, my goodness, some sort of award with a star at the top of it? I’m so proud. And Clara is so tall and graceful, just like her mother with that silky raven-colored hair which falls to her waist like a mermaid. She has a beauty which is truly ethereal. It used to intimidate me so much when we first started courting but then filled me with pride as time went on that she chose me. She is her mother’s child, and I can also see Jeremy’s encouragement and love for them all has worked his wonders. He is a good man and a good friend, and I’m so pleased he has provided comfort to my beautiful girls in my absence. 

I’m looking forward to hearing more about their days….

Olivia went over to her iPod and switched on one of the many playlists her Daddy had made for her. She loved that he had selected something for every emotion.

‘You’re never alone with your feelings. Just remember that, Livvy.  There will always be a song waiting for you which will provide you with comfort no matter how you’re feeling. Part of the fun of music is the journey through these feelings.’ He used to say to her.

‘Mummy, do you think Daddy knows about my Award? Shall I put it in the window so he can see from his cloud in heaven?’

Although five years had passed since that horrendous day when their lives all changed forever, Bella still found certain questions from her girls hit like a punch in the stomach. She sat down on Olivia’s little bed next to the window and looked to the sky which used to be the only thing she could do all day every day.

‘Yes, I mean, yes darling, he’s always watching all of us and would be, is, so proud of you, always. Right my darlings, what would you like for dinner?’

Bella disappeared to the kitchen to prepare dinner for the girls and pour a glass of pinot. She had certainly found a bit of comfort in drink since Paul had passed almost 5 years ago but made sure not to make it a habit. The girls needed her to be fit and healthy.

She couldn’t bring herself to relive it all the time but unfortunately her last memory of him had been at the morgue where he had finally looked at peace. How sad that it had taken such a final act to give him peace. She has been so angry for years that he couldn’t have been a ‘man’ and father to her two girls and had left her alone to look after everything. 

In the kitchen hung a large photo of the two of them on their wedding day, their faces turned in towards each other with an expression of love but more than that, that they’d found their best friend. Would she have agreed to marry that man if she had known what was in store for her? That was a silly thing to say but she had felt so angry at times that he insisted on having another baby so soon after Clara. Then she felt so desperately sad and guilty for feeling that way when she knew it wasn’t his fault and it wasn’t something he could just ‘shake off’. With that her phone begin to ring.

‘Hello you.’

‘Oh, hello you…’

‘How are you beautiful?’

I’m ok thanks.

‘Only, ok? What’s up?

I was just thinking about the girls and how they’ll feel about moving from their first home?

‘They’ll be fine.

‘I know, it's just me being sentimental.’

‘Do you want me to head over tonight? I'd love to see you?’

‘I'd love to see you, but I think we could all do with a quiet time before school tomorrow and the movers come on Saturday.’

‘Ok well ill speak to you later. Love you’

‘Yes, speak later, love you too.’

As Jeremy put the phone down, he couldn’t help but wonder if Bella was having any doubts. He was so excited that the girls were finally moving in with him at the weekend and their new chapter could finally start. It had been hard for all of them especially while spending a lot of time at their first family home. A beautiful terraced some in Chelsea which Paul had bought with a bonus but which had started to spook him out recently. Bella has mentioned a few things recently about sounds and Clara had on occasion ran into their room in terror saying she could hear her father. Once the girls were with him, they would all be able to move on from the horror of the past 5 years.

Paul looked down from his very cozy cloud and although he had never felt so relaxed.

‘Did I overhear that correctly? Did the girls say they are leaving me?’

He hadn’t felt anything but peace since arriving up here, but he sensed something he hadn’t felt here before. Was it sadness? He wanted them to be ok, that he was fine with the moving on. He has communicated with them in the past: Sending feathers through Olivia’s bedroom window, turning on Clara’s radio to make her laugh, and then opening a drawer to our private photos in our bedroom.

‘What can I do from here? Maybe I can send them a message to let them know they’re not alone. I truly believe they are better off without me but don’t want them to suffer’.

The girls were cuddled up in Bella’s bed and had decided to spend their last night just the three of them talking about their daddy and fun times they had had. They didn’t feel it was right to do this when Jeremy was there.

They then watched The Holiday and snuggled up until they were all fast asleep.

As Bella’s alarm went off and the radio started, Paul’s favorite song came on:

Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, And I say, 'It's alright'.