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Inspirational Coming of Age American

This story contains themes or mentions of mental health issues.

She knew she could do it. But she stayed still. She was going to do it. But she idled. She told herself she would. But she lay there, unmoving. Failure was upon her, around her, behind her. It consumed her grades and goals like a great black fog. But she knew no sun, no medication could destroy its dictatorship. She had to do something to save her future. But the only thing she could do was lay on her bed and sob.

She knew she had the potential to complete the assigned work, but her own mind locked her in a straightjacket. It was a traitor to all of her life and purpose. It was a high, tall fence. It surrounded her, capturing her in a lack of motivation brought on by herself and her only. She could peek through the fence's walls and see the bright dawn light beyond, but the wall- No, the ADHD held her back. The depression held her back. Her resulting lack of motivation held her back.

It told Eve now wasn't the time to work. It slithered through her ears and into her thoughts, hissing into her mind lies and untruths foul.

"You deserve a break."

"You can do that later."

"You don't really feel like doing that right now, right?"

"You're busy right now."

The serpent held such great power over her every action. It had taken her life from her and let it rot, telling her that this was the right choice. But is that really the right choice? Did she doubt its word? Was it really not just a waste of time to work, when one could fly free like a bird and roam the lands as thou wish it? One needs not land upon the branch.

It spoke. She made a sound of frustration, and rolled over on her bed. Now, she faced the exit to this motionless prison. All she had to do was turn and slide her feet off of the bed, and- 

Why do such a boring thing? Stay, rest. A world without blanketry is a bitter one. Leave the winter be. St-

She swung her legs around and slid off of the bed. It was cold. January was cold. She took the two steps toward her desk and sat at her chair and with the press of a button, willed the internet to come to life. She had something to do today. And she hoped her mind wouldn't stop her.

The girl began to type. The swift clicks and clacks made the soundless room come to life. But just then a hiss made her fingers stop their rapid movement. They hovered above the keys. 

"You don't really feel like doing that right now, do you?"

A moment passed. The serpent's words were not false. But she summoned sound and music drowned out the voice. Working on the project was not difficult, but it required great self control to continue to work and not fall back into procrastination. Occasionally, she would glance up from the screen and out of the window before her desk. The forest outside was barren and leafless, as it usually is during the cold wintry days. But to her it seemed beautiful. She knew that because there was no snow on their branches, they would soon wake from their dormant state. Spring was the time for their growth. It lifted a heavy menace from their shoulders and gave them new verdant life.

The girl had managed to focus on her work. Now her fingers moved of their own accord. The clacks were automatic. She was fully engrossed in her work. But she knew that this wouldn't last long. Knowing this, she closed her eyes and took a breath to clear her mind. 

She would not. Would. Not. return to the tree of forbidden fruit. 

The girl knew this as fact. But was it really..? It would be much more relaxing to lay on one's bed and drift off into the comfortable darkness of sleep. That seems to be the better option of the two. It's not too late to return t-

No.

Two clicks of a button increased the volume of the music, successfully silencing the nuisance of her mind. She had struggled with this for so long. She would not mess up another rare opportunity of motivation. She would not let the temptation break her focus. As she typed, she thought back to her middle school days. Of which she began to forget schoolwork and such, and fall into a depressive state. It hindered her progress as a human being. It restricted her from her daily duties. Its consequences deeply upset her parents. 

The foul force of her own mind told her to do nothing. Do nothing and lay still. Never again. Never would she let down both herself and her parents to such a degree. It was no matter if she felt like doing her work or not, she would still make herself do it. She promised herself that she would snuff out the serpent's voice as best she could. She knew the future opportunities of business would not always go as planned. This was the way of life.

The girl ignored the whispers of her mind's awfully hindering ADHD. The girl continued to type up the words into little letters that sat pleasantly next to one another on her screen. The girl didn't care about the other things she could. In this moment, she didn't care about the books she could read instead. She didn't care about the food she could eat instead. She didn't care about the things she could draw instead. She knew nothing but focus and determination. Both things brought forth hope. Hope for the future. Hope for her future. She now thought that the future wouldn't be as bad as she had previously imagined. She thought that her moments of unmoving weakness lay defeated behind her. Nearly finished with her writing, the girl began to type faster in order to finish her work. As she came upon the minimum amount of words required for the story, she lay back against her seat, smiling. She knew she could do it, and she did.

January 20, 2023 21:15

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11 comments

Kevin Marlow
02:05 Jan 22, 2023

It slithered through her ears and into her thoughts, hissing into her mind lies and untruths foul. So many poetic sentences, but that one was my fave.

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Helen Karas
13:55 Jan 22, 2023

I'm glad you liked it !!

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Eileen Turner
00:26 Jan 22, 2023

I read an article once that counted up all the time people spend waiting - in lines, for buses, etc. It's a lot! The suggestion was to always carry a book. But your story is a reminder of all the time we let slip by unused - such waste, time we never get back. Time many people wish they could reclaim at their end. Yes, the motivation thief is like a serpent. Good story.

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Helen Karas
00:51 Jan 22, 2023

It really is a waste, unfortunately. Thank you for the comment! :)

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Jack Kimball
18:06 Jan 24, 2023

The best part was, '...She knew she could do it, and she did.' Yes, poetic. '...slithered through her ears and into her thoughts, hissing into her mind lies and untruths foul.' It would have been interesting to see another person enter the story, maybe a help understanding, maybe not understanding. How can other people who don't have ADHD communicate best with those who do? Life is tough enough without ADHD. I can't imagine. Best. Jack

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Helen Karas
23:58 Jan 24, 2023

I'll consider those ideas next time I write something like this. Thanks!

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Tommy Goround
03:44 Jan 22, 2023

Focus. Yes

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Adilynn Seymour
03:12 Jan 22, 2023

I love how relatable this is, a clap to you!

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Stevie Burges
16:16 Jan 21, 2023

With the MC all the way. So glad she succeeded!

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Michelle Oliver
05:26 Jan 21, 2023

Well done. Sometimes the things in our own mind are the mountains and as such they can seem insurmountable. We limit ourselves by our self perception and then add in extra challenges of mental health conditions those limits do begin to define us. Love this line: “A world without blanketry is a bitter one.” So relatable! Well done to the MC for defeating the evil serpent and typing letters that sat “pleasantly against one another “ (nice phrase). As someone who loves and cares for people in my life who have suffered with anxiety, depression a...

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Helen Karas
14:03 Jan 21, 2023

Thank you so much!

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