Why Roscoe Why

Jamie had another dream about her last boyfriend, Roscoe being alive. All she could see was Roscoe standing in front of her with his hand out stretched toward her. His mouth was moving and she knew words were coming out. The words sounded weird and like it was another language that she couldn’t understand. It sounded like she had heard it before ,but she couldn't understand what he was saying. It bothered her when she had the dream because she always felt like she was letting Roscoe down.

Their relationship hadn’t been what anyone would call perfect. They had their problems with money and they would fight about who was in charge of their money. They were just like any other couple that had problems with something and their something was money. Both wanted to be in charge of their money and they both were stubborn as bulls, they wanted their own way.  She knew deep down that no other couple had a perfect relationship because there was something all couples had hid in the darkest closet away from the prying eyes of their family and friends. On the surface, all couples wanted that perfect relationship that consisted of “angel” kids that behaved perfect, money that out lasted the bills, and no secret between the twosome in the couple.

Jamie knew that all couples wanted the white washed house with a back yard big enough for the children to run their excess energy out and a yard that was big enough for the children to scream to their heart’s content. Most families lived in either rented apartments or houses which no one really wanted to talk about. The parents would want to owe their own place ,so they could have that feeling of accomplishment that they were in the process of owning it instead of lining the pockets of a greedy landlord.

Jamie loved her short walk to work because she was a people watcher. She loved to say “Good Morning and how are you?” She would watch as she would either get a person walking away with a frustrated look on their face or someone that would reply “Good Morning and I am fine. How are you this lovely day?” She loved making someone’s day a little easier by helping to carry things to their car. She loved watching the elderly people and guessing what kind of life they had led to this point in their lifetime. She knew some of her friends called her a goody two shoes because she was helpful to other people. She didn’t care what other people thought of her.

As she walked on, she noted how the sun was shining with rays touching the flowers and trees to show off their radiant colors, the birds were singing a special song that they only knew, and the children’s laughter was sweet music to her ears. As she walked, she felt something, no someone watching her. She didn’t get a feeling of hatred from the gaze, the slight touch of wonderous. She felt as the person who was watching her was simply wondering about her and her life. Smiling, she felt as if she wanted to turn around to smile at the person and wave with her hand “hello.

It was eerie feeling to have someone watch you ,but she had the feeling before with her parents as she was growing up. Like someone was watching her every movement to see what she did or said. She knew that she was up for a promotion to be in charge of the next research project which was a honor in it’s own right. It was between her and six other people to see who was placed in charge of the research project. She had asked God for favor with the judges to be given a fair chance because some of those other people had already been in charge. Maybe the judges wanted some details about what she does on her time off.

 The hairs on the back of her neck were standing upward and it felt like a cold hand had her spine in a vice. She had tried to think of who else could be watching her but no one came to mind. Maybe one of her past boyfriends was holding a grudge for something she had done or said toward them. As she tried to reason it out in her mind, no friend from the past came to mind. Did she forget someone’s birthday or a couple’s anniversary which made them mad at her? She wished she knew who it was and why they were doing this?

Maybe it was a stranger who was stalking her. To see if she had any expensive jewelry or someone that wanted to scam her out of her hard earned money they thought she had. It could be anyone or no one that she knew. Maybe she should just forget about the feeling and go on with her life. Maybe, it was just someone that was sitting watching the people on their way to where ever? Maybe, it was a people watcher like herself? Maybe, it was an artist that was trying to capture her smile on a canvas, a journalist writing about people who crossed a certain street or area, or a writer who was writing her a very small part in his book? She laughed as she realized it could be anyone doing a variety of everyday life things and she would never know who it was. Why was she overstressing and overthinking about this situation?

A couple of days later, she found herself crossing the same path she had days before. The feeling came back like she had slammed into a brick wall at full force. Someone was very close to her, staring at her, watching her. With indifference like they were trying to figure out whether or not to tell her about themselves and why they were watching her. She could feel their presences very close to her and as she looked around she wondered who it was.

Walking to work on a nice day was how she got fresh air and plenty of exercise after being cooped up in an office every day, except on Sunday when she was off. Her fingers would play around on the keyboard of her computer and her body after the many hours of sitting in the hard office chair she would start to shift around in hopes of finding that one comfortable spot she was looking for. She loved her job as receptionists and hoped one day to be promoted to another part of the company. She loved to window shop as she walked home or back to work.

She stopped in her walk home to look into the window of the most expensive store window that was around her home. Noticing the crowd swirling behind her, she really didn’t pay any attention to the faces of the people around her. She was looking at the blue ankle length dress in the window and dreaming how she would look in it. The fabrics of the dress would snuggly fit her curves and show off her thin body to perfection.

She heard someone clearing their throat behind her and she shifted slightly to the one side, so they could see the window as well as she could. Thinking that this person could buy the dress better that she could on her tight little budget, she was trying to be polite to the other person. She heard the noise once more and she turned slightly with her words forming in her to ask what his problem was?

Her mouth opened slightly as came face to face with someone she thought she would never see again. Her eyes widen with disbelief as her mind went back to a time in her past where she buried her boyfriend after he got killed by a drunk driver. The driver was sitting in prison for crime of murder. A crime that seemed to be falsely accused by her and many more. Remembering the hours of the trial and hearing the drunk driver say how he had argued with his wife and went to the bar to cool off. To cool off means that he would drink until his vision would be blurry and his legal drinking level was double that of illegal drinking. Here stood the body they had to cut out of his car with the jaws of life and the same body that she had watched being lower into the grave.

“Roscoe? How? Why?” How could this man be standing in front of her as nothing happen in their past? He was standing only inches from her smiling as if they were meeting accidently or if they were meeting to go on a date. How could he be standing there as nothing had happened in their past between them was something Jamie wanted to know. Why Roscoe Why? How Roscoe How?

He was standing there looking at her like he wasn’t too sure on how or where to go from this part of their lives. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and wanted back in her life if she wanted him to be involved in her life. Was she dreaming this whole situation? Was she standing on the street corner looking at nothing as she imagined Roscoe was standing only inches from where she was standing. Why Roscoe Why? How Roscoe How?