Light Into the Nations

David Levi sat on the edge of the couch in woe and distress. Next to him was his girlfriend Emma, who he have known since middle school, and had a crush on her since the moment they met. 

Emma wrapped her arms around David's still body. "So", she said in the high pitched voice she does when she's excited, "we are going to be parents! A mommy and daddy! What do you think?" 

Her eyes were glowing from excitement, but David's face showed signs of fear and anger. David turned to Emma, placed his right hand on her thigh and said: "Emma… We are not ready to have a baby. Not yet."

Emma closed her eyes. "I was afraid you would say that".

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just not the time…"

"Not the time?" She cut him off. "When will it be the time? When we are old and grumpy? You always say that we can't get married because it's not the time, can't go to your parents house, can't hang out with your friends. When in God's sake will it be the time, David?"

David looked at the pink pregnancy test that was on the table. Two strips glowed bright red on it. The result was definite: his girlfriend is having his child.

"When are you going to take some risks in your life?" Continued Emma. "Everything you do is calculated and precise. There's no time to explore the world, you only walk this stupid path that you set for yourself when you were like, nine."

"A baby shouldn't be a breeze through decision. Where are we going to get the money from? How are we going to feed it? We are both still in University, who's going to be with it all day? Are you going to bring it to your classes?" David stood up and leaned with his hands on their kitchen table.

Emma walked to him and put her hands on him, as to comfort him. "We'll figure something out." 

"There won't be any time to figure anything out when a screaming, hungry baby is going to be here all night long and you will be failing all your classes because you get no sleep and you have to take care of a baby! Is that what you want?"

David turned to her aggressively and grabbed her by the wrists. He looked in her eyes and time stopped. Just like the first time they met. When they walked into the same chemistry class in seventh grade, David didn't expect this beautiful girl to sit right next to him. Her eyes were the most gorgeous of green and her smile was as bright as a thousand suns. 

Since that chemistry class, they were inseparable. He would walk her home every day after school, although his house was in the other edge of town. They would have conversations that would last all night long, only going to sleep because their eyes forced themselves shut. Love prospered between them, and both formed a bond which they have never made before with anyone else in the world.

David let go of Emma's wrists. He was scared of his own behavior. "I'm… I'm so, so, sorry, baby. I didn't mean to…"

Emma was crying. David's grip didn't really hurt her physically, but emotionally- her whole world collapsed on itself. "Go", she said without looking in his eyes , "just go."

David walked to the closet and put on his slippers. He looked in the mirror. He couldn't recognize himself in the reflection. "What man have I become?" He asked himself. All he could see in his reflection was a distorted version of himself. A tired, middle aged man, with a tacky beard and soulless eyes. Behind was a child's crib. 

David shook his head in dismay. He didn't want to become like his dad- a distant, depressed old man. The thought of becoming like his dad was his worst nightmare.

"This isn't about the baby, isn't it?" Emma walked into the room. "It's because your mom would never accept the fact that you are not dating a Jewish girl, right?"

David glanced at Emma, then back at the mirror. All he could see now was what his mother wanted him to be- a yarmulke wearing, well maintained Jewish man. The total opposite to his father. His mother always told him to not make the same mistake as her. To not marry a Goy. If she would find out that that was exactly what he was doing, she would probably get a heart attack right on the spot.

"Is it?" Emma demanded an answer. 

"Well…"

"No. No well and not anything else. I want the truth, David."

David pondered for a second. He could see his mom preaching to him how a Jewish girl is the best girl to marry, how when he was a kid, she told him that he would go to hell if he would date a Goya. How she locked him in a closet after the first time he came home from a party. 

"The truth is that I'm scared of my mother."

"What a shocker!" Emma said cynically.

"Yeah, I know, you're not surprised. She would always tell me to marry a Jew. I'm afraid of what she will say."

Emma walked closer to David and turned him to look at her. "Screw what she will say. Screw what everyone will say. Do you love me? Do you want to have kids with me?"

"Yes! Of course! It's just…"

"No, no just. Take a risk once in your meaningless life. You are not your dad, you are not a loser. Your mom doesn't get a choice here. If you love me, you have to stand your ground."

"Okay." David said. "I guess I need to man up and stand my ground. My mom can't decide for me. I'm not her little boy anymore."

David took one last glance at the mirror. Now his reflection was that of his own. He could see his future unfolding ahead of him, and his past passing by like how cars pass shrubs on the highway. He couldn't stop himself from smiling.

They embraced each other in a warm and tight hug. David then kissed Emma on her forehead and whispered: "I love you."