HOW MUCH CHANGE IS IN YOUR POCKET?

Somethings change and some things never change. I thought about this for quite a while and looked back on life's ups and downs. Smirking while going down memory lane was fun, until I pondered and criticized myself. Of course, I found a lot of self-doubt, stupid and dumbing down moments that were not cool. Why? The kids in the middle of the family had the good, the bad and the ugly moments. I was in the middle and more times than not, had to play the nice card. Big sis had the say, all the time, and was a bulldozer from the get-go. Sometimes it was fun and then I wanted to run and hide under the bed. Little sis followed the leader and that was that. How did our personalities become so different yet the same in many ways? The family dynamics were what they were. Our mother, and dearest dictator of us kids, was the boss from morning til night. She was the one with the whistle who called the plays until one time she locked us out of the house. We were who we were aka KIDS. But then how many times could you keep going in one door and out the other with dirty shoes on? When dinner time came it was the whistle that called us home. I mean a two finger in the mouth whistle that always got our attention. How embarrassing when the kids in the neighborhood heard it too and laughed us out of their yard. It was just one of a bunch of moments you wanted to just plug your ears. We grew up in a sheltered neighborhood. NOT. Our playground were the woods and everything in and around the outdoors from streams, and ponds to the highest trees to climb. We were given such a free rein to just go; go here, go there, go everywhere, well, within reason. Our neighborhood were the five houses on one side of the road. That's it. Our bikes were the freedom riders, and they were our golden chariots. I mean who could peddle all the way and make it to the beach? Unless it was green hornet season mid-summer and then that was a wasted adventure. But that turned around really quick when as tired as we were, the number one detour to get back home was to make it over to Benson's. Pennies, nickels and dimes saved from our 'to do' lists came and went with a drizzle of chocolate sprinkles on top of that yummy ice cream cone. 

School time was a never-ending story and one long chapter after another in the book of life. Blending in with others from everywhere was sometimes not so easy when you lived out in the sticks with only a bunch of kids you knew and hung out with day after day. Personalities ruled the classroom. Even the teachers had their own totem pole and you hoped for the one that looked at you and not through you. We didn't buy food. Lunch of the day was pretty much baloney sandwich after baloney sandwich. An apple was always a treat and maybe an Oreo or two was a nice way for the queen to keep her underlings happy. More time spent at school was where the brain came on or went in silent mode. How much could you keep in that upper space when outside recess time had you playing so many made up games? Thinking, learning how to beat others while playing a game as one or with teams, having the rules set up, was the way to go! Being in my own space without big sis or little sis in my face made me learn about how to belong with others who were different. Which of course changed as soon as we all got on the bus to head home. Move over! 

More change crept into our lives as the more we did things courtesy of the dictator and mother of the household. Our dad had quite the say in doing stuff, too. We took his lead on how to be a true Yankee. Lots of fun was in the learning of random stuff like how to use a screwdriver or saw some wood. Then it was time to clean up which then equaled more play time. Never a moment lost over the years. How this becomes ingrained is like playing a song on the piano over and over. Keep doing it until you get the right melody. Your brain has a place where it keeps all the right notes.  

From the first grade, the left brain was in competition with the right brain. That became the way my pathway meandered throughout book learning from the get-go. It was a tough road at times as school was all about how much information was worthy of retention. How we were separated into A, B, and C classes from middle school through high school was not the way I was happy in order to be judged on your way to Smartsville. I found my way through it all but of course book learning sometimes became the leading cause of my self-doubt and dumbing down moments. How was I going to survive the game of the mental monster? This happened until I woke up to another book that had the most colorful and brilliant pages. ART. This became the right brain way of teaching my left brain how to cooperate. You can't have one without the other. To this day it is way I move with purpose. It's all about going forward with that one word leading the way. It has been a transformation to understand and give worth to something that had been calling to me for so long there was no way to pretend to hide or ignore the reality of what that true part of life is calling you to do. Go forward, most definitely yes. Backward is just a word in the dictionary.

Is everything changing? Well, yes and no. Yes, is how we get up and go from one thing to the next. Look to the stars and find the guiding light. It has been there all along. Change can be a great road to travel if we take ahold of the reins that will lead us down the right path.