The Way It Falls

“Wow it’s almost the end,” she giggled while looking at the flower-field wallpaper. Its corners were peeling, turning the once lively and colorful wall into something almost sinister, something abandoned. This description wasn’t far from the truth but I just never understood Isla’s carelessness. Even sitting here waiting for everything to crumble, she laughs, she smiles, she kicks her feet looking like an excited toddler about to get a sticker for being able to write their alphabet. 

“I’m scared,” I finally admitted.

“Oh silly, there’s nothing to be scared of, we knew this day would come, we’ve been preparing for it since the day we were conscious,” That smile on her face didn’t falter, not for a moment. I pulled at the bracelet around my wrist, 11/30/65. The date I was born, or well the day I was conscious. 

They grew our bodies artificially until we were around 3, then quickly teaching us how to walk and talk, little rewards at every accomplishment. It was nice, Isla was my next door neighbor, we did everything together, the dorms were full of kids to play with and meet, but I only ever cared about one person, and that was Isla. 

The problem with overpopulation had only gotten worse, originally we were supposed to be fine until around 30, but they had to cut out half the program due to lack of resources. Not enough air filters, not enough fresh food, not enough beds. So here we are. 15 years old, about to say our final goodbye. It would be quick, but what after? What then?

“Yes, but, it’s so soon,”

“You would have said the same thing when we turned 30, you know that! Plus, it’ll be short, then we can be together forever in the afterlife, whatever that is,” she always had a positive outlook. 

“What if there is no afterlife?”

“There is, I promise. With wild poppies everywhere! The most beautiful architecture you could ever imagine! Unlimited fresh air, and we could go outside whenever we want!” She was beaming, like this is the moment she’s always been waiting for. “That’s why I put us on the list Bells,” she held her innocent smile, wait…What? 

“Don’t ‘Bells’ me, you did what?”

“I put our names on the list, I volunteered us to be cut from the program, so we could live together forever,” she grabbed my limp hand in hers, I was mortified. “What if only one of us was placed on the list? What then? I wouldn’t be able to wait another 15 years to see you again, you’re my best friend Bells. I just couldn’t stand to be in those beautiful poppy fields without you,” Her tone was almost pleading, like she needed me to validate her for a decision that she already made for the both of us. 

“You could have talked to me about it, y'know? Even the smallest mention would have been better than letting me find out now! I’m waiting to die with you Isla and you chose that for us? Another 15 years we could have lived together but you’d rather chance us getting an afterlife instead?!” I was furious, I told her a million times how terrified I was for the end, and instead of backing me up she put me in the one situation I dreaded with every fiber of my artificial being. 

“Yes, but Bella, would you rather be terrified for 15 more years? Sounds like an awful existence, being scared of death, so why not face it here and now, with me. I get to be with you, isn’t that wonderful? I’m blessing us by allowing us to choose when we die,” Her smile returned to her face, like she was reminiscing about something lovely. 

“You chose. I didn’t. I don’t know what I would've picked had you talked to me first, but either way you should’ve. This isn’t something trivial like you taking one of my snacks when we were 10, these are our lives Isla. Do you not see that?” How could she be so selfish, we were going to die because of her.

“I thought I was helping us, I thought I was helping you. I thought it would get us out of this tragic place. We pretend we’re happy here but it’s awful! Is it really worth it to spend the rest of our short lives here in this sorry excuse for a home? Bella people used to live till 90, they used to spend all day outside, travel the world, have families! We don’t get that option Bella! We are trapped here in a dimly lit BUNKER! We get rations for meals and half the time people die off due to starvation!” I’ve never seen her angry, this was definitely new.

“You’re right! This isn’t a picture perfect life, but that’s why they were cutting hal the program! They were trying to stop the starvation and the preventable deaths! Maybe things would’ve gotten better,” I was tired, almost defeated at this point.

“Yes, but it also could have only repeated itself. The people here don’t understand what’s happening to our world fully, and I can almost guarantee they have no idea what they are doing with our lives.”

“So you’re throwing ours away?”

“No, I’m saving us, to a better world, a beautiful afterlife.”

“Whatever. I shouldn’t have to fight with you right now,” I just wanted all of this to be over.

“Bells, you're my best friend. I want you to understand that, no matter what, I get you’re mad at me, but let’s not let our last moments be full of anger and regret, please” She squeezed the hand she was still holding, this time with both her hands.

“You’re right, if we’re going out, we should at least go out as friends. As mad as I am, I can’t deny you’re the only person I’d want to die with.”

“Me too,” She was cut off by the opening of the metal door in front of us.

“4506 and 4509?” They called our digits on our bracelets. Taking one more look at eachother we stood up. 

“Yes that’s us,” I acknowledged the lady with a nod, she led us back into a room with two chairs, as they clamped our ankles into the chairs and ready the injections I reached over to hold Isla’s hand. “See you on the other side,” she only responded with a smile and a nod. That was it.