MY MUSIC

Who’s that girl I see?

Staring straight back at me

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside? 

(from the Disney movie, Mulan)

This song suited for me, I’m a person like a turtle, hiding on my shell when there are so many people around me, because I don’t want to be judged and I’m afraid with them, I’m afraid for them to see, what is the thing inside of that shell, because inside of it, is me, that scared to show who really am. Hi, my name is Pie, wearing this tacky sunglasses and this red pajamas. Today, many people feel changed, because they are just staying home and do not allowed to get out, but for me, it’s just like a day yesterday and a day like tomorrow. I am a person who hates social because I’m afraid of being judged, when there are no classes, I locked up on my room and there, do a thing that I like that I’m afraid to show even at my parents, because I am a self-centered person. I don’t need to go out in my room, except when I am hungry. I don’t have friends, my hobbies are writing poems, I like also to sing and dance and my dream is to become an actress on the play, in a Broadway, but I’m afraid to show it, as I say, I hate being judged. I heard steps coming at my room, I know, who’s step is that, my mom steps who’s going to told me to come down and play with them. I am not a girl who plays with other. Pie, came down at your room and let’s play chess like when you are on elementary, my mom told me while knocking the door, but I replied that I don’t want, and make an excuses that I am working with my studies, so my mom, replied that if I’m done, I should go down to eat a snack and play with them so I just say, “okay, mom”. I’m such a good liar and by the way, I’m not working with my studies, I’m composing a song. After an hour ago, my tummy keeps grumping, it means that I’m hungry so I came down at my room and go to the kitchen, I eat what my mom prepares, and after that, I washed my dishes and locked up on my room again. I’m almost done with my song and last phrase left, so I keep thinking what phrase shall I use to finished the song and the phrase that I can think is “I can’t be perfect but I can be myself, to be talented” and the song was finished, it was entitled, I Myself, I sing the song, and feel happy after singing the song, I have so many songs that I write and I put it in my songbook, I always record it when I’m going to sing the song and if I’m not mistaken, I already wrote 30 songs in total. I slept for almost 3 hours and woke up from the tone of my phone. It’s kept toning, and I received so many notifications on Facebook. It’s about likes and shares, comments on the thing that I posted. I don’t have much thing to post, I don’t have also profile picture on my account so where does likes and comments came from, I am very curious so I click the notification and shocked from what I seen, it’s my video while singing the song that I composed, all of it. It receives so many likes and receive good comments, many people share and download my video, it becomes trending. I’m shocked, it’s already 3 hours left and it’s almost 3 million views and still counting, so I shout, ahhhhh, there are steps running at my room, it’s my parents, they knocking the door, and open it with their duplicated key, honey, what happened, my dad telling me in very caring voice, what happened? my mom asking me. I don’t now what I’m going to say, “Mom, what am I going to do?” I told her, and she asked me, “Why, what happened? She told me and “Is there a problem, honey?” my dad asked me. So, I reply, “It’s just, I post something that I shouldn’t, I accidentally post my videos online and it receives many likes and good comments.”, and they just speechless and my dad smile. “It’s okay honey, there’s nothing wrong with that, and it’s a good news, you can become an artist that I now you dreamed when you are a little” he told me while comforting me, but I reply in opposite way, “It’s just that, what if, I was being judged, I don’t want to be judged” but my mom make a sound, Tsk, tsk, tsk. “Everyone has a disability, so there is a chance for us to fail and being judged because no one lives in a perfect way, everyone can make a mistake, but used that as a motivation not a distraction, for you to succeed on life. “Okay, mom. Wait, my phone keeps toning, there are so many comments, I just going to reply. Mom, Dad, look, they really love my songs, thanks for your tip, I really appreciate it. I smile, so they leave my room and close the door, I am really happy that I already show to the world, my talent, the real Pie, but wait, in every fame, it’s not possible that there are no insecurities, I received some harsh words, but I always remember what my parent said, “Everyone has a disability, so there is a chance for us to fail and being judged because no one lives in a perfect way, everyone can make a mistake, but used that as a motivation not a distraction, for you to succeed on life” so I reply on them, "Thanks for your reaction, it serve as my motivation to do more and become more." Let the hater hates you, use that as a reason to fight, to become bold and to survive.