The Kiss

Kiera slowly opened her eyes and glanced over at the time. After a few seconds the guilt from the night before began to set in like a heavy looming cloud. The events came rushing back to her, and she began to realize just how much she had screwed up. She laid back down for a few moments trying to fall asleep or somehow forget she knew the second she got out of bed it would all become real. She had a good dream and mourned its loss for a moment wishing more than anything that she could be back there again, and not here where she had more enemies than friends. But she knew she had to face everything at some point so she dragged herself out of bed, her feet hitting the floor with a thud. She walked straight to her dresser passing her phone. She was too scared of the notifications that popped up overnight or rather the ones that didn’t. She threw on some leggings and a hoodie and walked downstairs. It was early in the morning around 6 or 7 so nobody in her house was awake yet. She tiptoed down the stairs quite as a church mouse as to not wake anyone up. With each stair creak she winced, but eventually made it down what felt like an endless flight of stairs. She quietly opened the fridge grabbing the milk, the cereal still on the table from the midnight snack she had after waking up the first time. She poured herself some cereal trying to think of anything else besides last night. She slid her bowl across the table to her chair and sat eating quickly only finishing about half the bowl. She can usually down three or four of them, but today was just different. She walked outside. The air was cold and fresh. It was the middle of winter and she could see her breath. The fresh air was relaxing and made her lips numb so that she couldn’t say anything at all. She sat on her driveway and slowly tears began to roll down her cheeks. She had messed everything up. All because of some feelings that she couldn’t keep in she ruined a perfectly good friendship. Her best friend Taylor came over the night before to play cards and watch a movie as she usually did on friday nights. They watched the Hunger Games and Kiera laid on her chest. Taylor reached for a blanket. 

“Its freezing here! How do you not have a blanket?” Taylor asked 

“I’m from Chicago remember! It’s freezing down there. I can handle the fan in the basement” Keira Replied 

Taylor was right she wasn’t cold at all, but for a different reason. Taylor was warm enough, but not a blanket warm it was a body heat kind of warm, but it felt like a soul kind of warm. In a blanket it’d be sweating. Kiera had the biggest crush on Taylor since 10th grade math class. They took geometry together and she would do perfect on every test, but math was not Keira's strong suit so she would help her by slipping her little hints. They first met in 6th grade but really got to know each other when Kiera invited her to her birthday party. From then on it was history. They were best friends. They did everything together. It was perfect. Although she had been in love with her for maybe a year now Kiera had just come out to her as lesbian a couple of weeks before. It all began to unravel when Taylor woke her up excited about something. She shook her violently jolting her awake but she didn’t mind. She sat up enthused She didn’t care what Taylor’s idea was as long as she was doing it with her. 

“Come on let’s go on a drive!” She said excitedly 

“Ok where?” Keira laughed

“You’ll see” Taylor said 

Taylors car was small and red. It wasn’t anything special but it still felt like home. They got in putting the heat on blast along with the music. They drove, belting their brains out for 15 minutes. On the drive every so often Kiera would look over at Taylor singing and admire her thinking about how perfect she always looked. She wished more than anything that she would just kiss her, but she liked a track star so that wasn’t possible. Taylor parked on the side of the road beside a hill,  and got out of the car walking around to the trunk and opening it. She looked through the little crack between the cover and the seats. 

“Come on” She said

Kiera got out of the car and walked around to the back. 

“What are we doing here?” 

“Just trust me” 

“I’m freezing” Kiera whined 

“Well good thing I have a blanket” Taylor teased. 

“Come on follow me” 

Taylor started skipping up the hill blissfully, and Kiera followed doing the same. When they finally reached the top Taylor laid the blanket down and they both sat on it then Kiera drew her gaze towards what was over the hill. It was their whole little town all lit up, and it was astonishing. Kiera’s mouth dropped open in amazement.

“Wow! This is one of the prettiest things I’ve ever seen!” She said her voice filled with wonder.

“Well I know you love the city and since your trip to New York just got canceled I thought maybe…” 

Before Kiera had time to think she pulled Taylor close and kissed her. Her hand swam in her hair and her eyes closed. Nobody had given her something so perfect before she felt like she could cry. For a minute they kissed Taylor kissing back fervently. It felt like fireworks. Like the ones they talk about in books or in movies. It was the most perfect thing she had ever felt, but then she pulled away. The moment ripped in half. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Well I just thought that…”

“Well you thought wrong.” Taylor snapped “God why would you do that? Kiera, that was my first kiss!”

“I’m sorry it’s just that you’re so perfect, and we would be perfect together, and I really really like you!”

“You’re so selfish!” Taylor yelled

“Hey that’s not fair! I can’t control who I have feelings for!”

“Have feelings for anyone as long as it’s not me!” 

Taylor stood up and stormed off running down the hill 

“Wait where are you going?”

She got into her car and drove off leaving Kiera all alone and cold up on the hill. 

She stared out onto the lit up horizon and tears streamed down her cheeks. Not just sad tears but mad ones too. They raced rapidly down her face and drowned her in sadness. She looked out at the town lights and suddenly they seemed duller. She picked up her phone to call her mom. 

“Hey mom can you come pick me up?” 

“Yeah sure, is everything all right?” She asked

“Yeah Taylor just had to leave early. There was an emergency. I’m on top of the hill on Brannon road” 

“Ok I’m leaving now” 

When Kiera’s mom finally arrived they sat in silence on the way home. No music, no talking, nothing. The silence was deafening but comforting. When she got home she walked up to her room and threw herself onto her bed not even bothering to change, and feel asleep. Now she sat on the driveway running the memories through her head again and again. She knew she could never fix this. No sorry would change this. It was Taylor’s first kiss and she was the one who took it from her. Kiera pulled herself up from the driveway and walked back into her house, the warmth holding her. She slowly walked upstairs dreading what was to come. She stepped over the clothes strewn across the floor in her room and grabbed her phone off of the charger. She slowly turned it over and saw what she had been fearing most- nothing.