A gust of wind blew through the window of the treehouse I opened my eyes when the cold wind touched my face a few pages on my old stack of comic books flew open. I got off the small framed couch and headed over to the window. When I looked through the window I saw a big dark cloud rolling in fast. The wind blew with such force that it tore a few old boards from the treehouse wall. I panicked and ran for the treehouse entrance I looked down to see the latter had been blown away it was no where insight. I looked at my house trying to get the attention of someone inside I waved my arms yelling out for help. Just as someone got a chance to see me the windows on all the houses including mine burst from the thounder roaring above. I couldn’t hear the wind anymore. My ears were filled with that roar and felt as if I had a beehives in my ears. Before I could even look back at the house a flash of lightning so bright filled the air blinding me with such bright light. All I could see was the white of the light it filled my view.
I felt the wind push me back into the treehouse I felt my head Bounce off the treehouse floor. Blood ran down from my ears I could feel it running down the side of my face. I crawled toward the back of my tree house knocking over what could have only been my can of soda because I felt the carbination between my fingers as I crawled forward. I reached out and felt the wall I rubbed my now sticky soda hand on my pants to try and keep my hand as warm as I can. I felt the wall give a little as the wind burst up against it. I felt rain blowing through the window it almost felt as if it was raining sideways. Another great push of wind blew the wall agaisnt my hands when something from the wall fell off and smacked my head. I went unconscious and became vunaware of the terrible event around me that were unfolding.
The storm raged on it wasn’t long after I went unconscious before the dam above the vally cracked open. The water raced down the streets of my little town. The waves grew high and higher destroying cars and homes killing everyone. I felt my body get thrown against the tree house wall I screamed out in pain to only feel water bubble before me. I opened my eyes and could finaly see. I was pinned against the wall of the tree house as it was carried down the street toward the ocean. I fought to get off the wall to climb towards the door but there was no hope I was trapped no air and deafened by the storm above. I saw the light around me getting darker and darker as my treehouse was washed down into the trenches of the ocean soon there was nothing but darkness. The pressure of the water filled my lungs before they collapesed. I felt the pressure of the ocean compressing me soon my bones started to give way and snapped all over I would say at least 8 bones were certainly broken. With the last bit of consciousness I had left I felt the world spiraling around me like a spin top till I felt as if I was being suched through a straw. "That is a brutal way to die boy. Oh yes that’s right.” said the Demon “Here you are Jayden Triggs 16 years old died last week on july 9th 2020.” The Demon slammed his big black book shut and turned to a wall with thousands of keys and picked a old rusty barnacle covered one off the second row and held it towards me.
“Wait so the storm really happened? I’m dead?” I asked. The Demon laughed and slammed the key into the palm of my hand.
A gust of wind blew through the window of the tree house I opened my eyes when the cold wind touched my face a few pages on my old stack of comic books flew open. I got off the small framed couch and headed over to the window. When I looked through the window I saw a big dark cloud rolling in fast. The wind blew with such force that it tore a few old boards from the treehouse wall. I panicked and ran for the treehouse entrance I looked down to see the latter had been blown away it was no where insight. I looked at my house trying to get the attention of someone inside I waved my arms yelling out for help. Just as someone got a chance to see me the windows on all the houses including mine burst from the thounder roaring above. I couldn’t hear the wind anymore. My ears were filled with that roar and felt as if I had a beehives in my ears. Before I could even look back at the house a flash of lightning so bright filled the air blinding me with such bright light. All I could see was the white of the light it filled my view. I stumbled forward falling and breaking my neck blood pooled around me it was warm very warm. I felt the world spiraling around me like a spin top till I felt as if I was being suched through a straw
"That was faster then expected. Why would you try and go forward if you couldn't even see?" the Demon questioned. As he slammed his big black book shut and turned to a wall with thousands of keys and picked a old rusty barnacle covered one off the second row and held it towards me.
“Wait I’m dead?” I asked. The Demon laughed and slammed the key into the palm of my hand.
A gust of wind blew through the window of the treehouse I opened my eyes when the cold wind touched my face a few pages on my old stack of comic books flew open.
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5 comments
Killer story!!! I like how the premise was similar to the movie 'Edge of Tomorrow'. I found some grammar and punctuation errors but Nico already pointed that out. You have a great imagination. Keep it up! Do check out my stories if you get time.
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Thank you I'll be sure to give yours a read. Also I might have to watch Edge of Tomorrow now.
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Yes it's a great movie. The lead actor is Tom Cruise, all the more reason to watch it.
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You have an interesting premise here, and a strong idea of where you wanted to take it. I think with some cleanup of grammar and punctuation and some guidance to help you clarify your narrative and establish your setting, you'd have a strong piece here.
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Thank you. I am trying to work on that in my free time.
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