Run to the Darkness

Step. Step. Breath. Step. Step. Breath. Step. Step. Breath. 

The pattern Layrin had told her to follow while running had gotten her this far. With luck, it would get her at least 2 more miles. 2 more miles, and all traces of humanity would be far out of sight. 2 more miles, and she could forget where she was. 

Whens she turned 18 she felt something shift. She began to detest the large concrete cities around her. She began to hate the hustle and bustle. Crowds lit fires of rage in her soul. She found peace only in the woods. She longed for the places forgotten by all but the trees forgot, where no sound could be heard. Part of her had to wonder what person she may be now if she had come to this realization sooner. 

“I’m telling you, if I have to go to one more meeting that so easily could’ve been an email, I might lose my mind,” Elowen said, throwing up her hands before taking a sip from her mug. Layrin laughed as he sipped his drink. 

“I don’t think there’s been a day since you started this internship that you haven’t said that,” Layrin replied, leaning back and crossing his arms. 

“Well, some of us aren’t lucky enough to be super-athletes who get to run all day.”

“Hey now,” Layrin retorted. “I go to classes too.” Elowen rolled her eyes and let out a sigh as she felt the stress of the memories she described cling to her bones and muscles. 

“I just-" She rubbed her hands over her face. “I can’t. Physically, mentally, I just can’t. Every day I think, ‘it can’t be as bad as yesterday,’ and yet every day I am wrong.” 

“Are you still going on runs?”

“Yes. But it doesn’t help. I swear running through this city is just as stressful. If my job doesn’t make me go crazy, this place will.”

“Kind of ironic coming from someone who moved here willingly.” 

“I thought I wanted this! At first, I did. But after two years everything is just… gross, I guess? I don’t know. I just hate it.” Elowen leaned forward on her elbows and stared longingly at the table. Oh, to be an inanimate object unable to be chained in an office.

Layrin sighed and examined the table, then his eyes lit up. “You ever run the trails in the state park north of the city?”

“No. I’m bad at reading maps, I always worry I’ll get lost.”

“Well, it’s actually pretty easy to navigate, you can use your phone. Some of my buddies and I use the Southern Shadow Trail. It’s so old and windy almost no one’s ever on it so it’s great for our big group.” Elowen nodded trying to picture the place in her head. She had been to the park once when she first moved to the city but had avoided that trail because it sounded so ominous. 

“Why is it called that? Are they trying to ensure a horror movie takes place there?” she asked. 

“Mainly because there’s some weird natural occurrence near the middle portion of the path where the trees block out all of the sun so it’s dark all the time, hence the ‘Shadow’ part of the name.”

Step. Step. Breath. Step. Step. Breath.

Sweat dripped down her temple. Her tank top began to stick to her back. A small chirp had interrupted the song so, she lifted her arm to see her phone, strapped to her left bicep. A text appeared at the top of her screen. She slowed to a walk. It was from Layrin. 

"How’s the run going? Make it to the darkness yet?"

She typed back quickly, her fingers dancing across the keyboard. 

"Not yet! Tho the rest hasn’t exactly been peaceful"

Three dots appeared in the corner of the conversation a moment after the text was sent. 

"I did say this path was windy and practically abandoned, it’s certainly no walk in the park lol"

She rolled her eyes.

"You’re an idiot."

"You’re favorite idiot."

"Go back to class!"

"Don’t get lost!"

“Did I tell you I had that dream again the other night?” Elowen asked, taking a bite of her sandwich. Layrin gulped down a large sip of lemonade. 

“The one with Anya Taylor Joy?” 

“No. I wish. It’s the one where I’m in a city but its totally dark and in ruins and there’s fog everywhere, and no people - just the sound of a fiddle in the distance, but no matter how far I walk, it never gets any louder.”

“Oh god, I hate that one. You should’ve told me. We could’ve done something to get your mind off it. I was up late last night.” Elowin furrowed her brow again. Layrin widened his eyes. Realization dawned on her.

“Ew! Gross!” 

Layrin laughed. 

“Before you even start, no I do not want details,” she continued before he could start talking.

“I mean it, though. I would’ve come home if you had told me,” he said. Elowen swirled the water in her cup.

“It’s not even scary. Honestly, it scares me more that it doesn’t scare me. It’s peaceful.” Layrin shrugged. 

“Maybe you just have an attraction to spooky things,” he suggested. “It comes with the name after all.”

Her mother had died in childbirth and her father, being a nerd and a novelist, named her after the character he’d based on her mother. It was a mix of fantasy and horror, with her mother’s character being the main character and “final girl” when a vengeful ancient god destroys the world and claims Elowen as his heir to chaos. It was good in concept but didn’t sell well. As much as she disliked her name, it was the reason she and Layrin were friends. He, too, had been named after a fantasy character, though that book must have been particularly awful as she couldn’t find a copy anywhere.

“I don’t know. It’s weird, I hate it, but it’s fine,” she replied, shaking her head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

The forest closed in on all sides. For the past mile, there had been no sound but the music in her earbuds and her feet on the dirt. For a while she had been able to assure herself she was on the right path as little red, metal squares were nailed to a tree every mile or so. But for the past 30 minutes she hadn’t seen anything. Feeling her anxiety begin to rise, she stopped and looked at her phone. She clicked on the map, but it wouldn’t load.

“Are you serious?” 

She opened and closed her phone but still - nothing. 

Well, there’s no way I’m going farther now. 

She turned on her heel to leave and found a man running at her. She barely managed to sidestep in time to avoid him crashing into her. 

“Watch where you’re going!” she yelled. The man stopped and turned to her slowly, a wide smile on his face. 

“My apologies, dear. I tend to lose myself when I am surrounded by nature,” he said. His voice was odd. It was charming and warm despite his eyes seeming cold. Her body tensed up, yet something inside of her felt almost comfortable. 

“It’s fine just, watch where you’re going,” she replied, her voice even and unrevealing. He just smiled at her. She swallowed and turned back around. 

“Heading back so soon?” the man asked. She turned slightly. 

“Yep.”

“The trail loops around,” he said cheerfully. “You should see the whole thing, it’s better that way.”

“Well, I need to go back. My friend is expecting me,” she said. 

“Come now, you’ve got to see the best part. The Path of Darkness is just up ahead, not even half a mile! At least go that far. Why else would you take this trail anyways?”

Everything in her screamed to start sprinting back but she couldn’t help but keep her feet planted. A mix of comfort and fear flooded her body, making her skin warm with panic and her blood cool with ease. 

“Yeah, okay” she began.

“Marvelous!” he exclaimed. “Well, I must be off. Perhaps we’ll cross paths again.” 

Elowen swallowed hard. “Yeah. Maybe.” The man smiled again before pivoting back towards the path and running off. Once he was far out of sight her shoulders released and she leaned on her knees, catching her breath, not even realizing she had been holding it. That man. She knew him. But she didn’t know how. His voice was as familiar as her own father’s, his smile as known to her as the sun and yet she did not know him.

Elowen’s alarm screamed in her ears. She sat up with a start. 

In her dream she had been running. She was jogging through a city overcome by nature. It was dark and foggy. There was a fiddle playing. And she was smiling. 

She shrugged off the memory and rubbed her eyes. She looked to her window and found the sun had not risen with her. She silenced her alarm. The time read: 6:06 AM.

She slid out of bed and her body carried her to the bathroom. She flicked the light on and the long strip above the mirror blinked to life. In the center of the mirror, she found a sticky note with a message written in Layrin’s handwriting. 

Give the shadows my regards!

Just as the man said, less than half a mile ahead the path was completely dark. She pulled a small flashlight out of her pocket and clicked it on. 

The trees were thicker. The branches even seemed to curve to create an arch above her. As she stepped into the darkness the music in her ears faltered. She smacked her phone, and all was well. She continued running. 

Step. Step. Breath. Step. Step.

Her music crackled and stopped. She slowed down and looked at her phone. It was fine and after a moment the music returned. 

Step. Step. 

It stopped again. 

“Are you kidding me?!”

Elowen stopped running and raised her arm. She tapped her phone, but it wouldn’t turn on. A black screen stared back at her, almost mockingly. 

It’s fine. The map said this portion is short.

She took out her earbuds and slid them into her legging pocket. She began running, faster than before. As she went, the path kept winding. As she went, the trees seemed to grow bigger and thicker. The branches began to look like hands reaching in towards her. She gulped and ran faster. 

Step. Step. Breath. Step.

She ran at least a mile, yet there was no sign of light. The trees all looked the same. She felt like the floor moved opposite her, keeping her in place. Her breath picked up and she felt anxiety rattle her bones. She forced herself to keep moving. 

Step. Step. Step. Step. 

When exhaustion finally took her, it felt like she had been running for days, maybe weeks. Her stomach felt like it was eating itself. Her throat tasted of copper. 

She heard a twig snap and turned to find an opening in the trees behind her. A small path opened up to her left and light shone through. 

It didn’t occur to her to panic that it hadn’t been there before as she was too relieved to entertain logic. She ran to the path and sprinted to the clearing at the end. An orange-yellow light greeted her, a fire, along with-

“You…”

The man from before was smiling at her from a long rectangular table. It was filled with dishes finer than anything she’d ever seen. 

“Please, sit!” the man said. Her heart should have been pounding, but, strangely, she trusted him, sitting at the opposite end.

“It took you longer than I expected to get here. Disappointing. Layrin said you were almost as fast as him.” 

Hearing Layrin’s name snapped her out of the haze that had befallen her. 

“How do you know- “

“He works for me! He has for 2 thousand years now,” the man said, smiling wide. Elowen blinked. A fire still surrounded them on the edge of the clearing, yet the woods did not burn. And the man and the meal remained present. Her hands shook.

“What are you?” she asked with a shaking voice. “And what on earth do you mean 2 thousand years!?”  

“Why, my dear, I mean exactly what I said. In all honesty I wish I had created him sooner; he’s been quite the fine servant.”

Elowen’s heart was beating so fast it didn’t feel like it was beating at all.

“I don’t have as much time as you do in here, my dear, so let me get right to it. May I ask you something? You were drawn to the excitement of the city when you were younger were you not?”

She managed to nod.

“And now you find the solitude of nature to be far more appealing?”

She nodded again.

“Well, my dear, I can tell you why. First you craved life. Now that you’ve tasted it, you want death.” 

“I don’t want to die…”

“No, no, my dear. You misunderstand. You have found the beauty of life to be dull and fleeting, while death in its eternity, kindness, and brutality, to be gorgeous. That is because you awoke the part of you that is every bit of that. See, you were born with life inside you, but it takes time for death to awaken, and when you turned 18, it did. Accept it as a gift, my daughter, for now you have reached your full potential.” 

Elowen felt her throat tighten. “Daughter?” she managed. 

“Yes indeed, my dear. You are the daughter of death.” 

She could not even comprehend what he said, all her thoughts were in a foreign language. 

“You see, people have always had their ideas on how the universe came to be and who runs it, but it is far simpler than anyone likes to believe. There’s simply Life-" as he said the word his head rotated revealing a second face, changing his skin color and voice to what she hears on the trail before. “And then there’s-" his face rotated again back to what it had been, “Death. They’re two sides of the same coin. And you are the first daughter of mine.”

Elowen couldn’t stop shaking.  

“You came from a mother whom I had already claimed. You were touched by life and death at the same time - the exact moment you began to exist wholly as you are. When breath first touched your lips.”

“I-I don’t understand…” she said, half to herself. Death chuckled.

“Poor thing. I wish did not have to say all of this. It takes up what little time I have with you.” Something about that chilled her, but she couldn’t focus on any of it, not at once. “You see I did not make the universe, but the universe made me. When there was nothing, there was me. For eons I was left to my own devices, and I made beauty for longer than you can fathom. From death, came nature - something eternal, always returning even when all else is lost. From life came humanity - the first of creatures to fight what came before and wish to differ from the beauty and power of nature. All was well then, I felt myself begin to falter. Then I heard the universe, for the first time since my creation. I was told it was time for change. And so, my dear, as I wither into the Nothing, from whence I came, you shall take my place.” 

Elowen began to hyperventilate. Her brain was a storm.

“But- I-” 

“Fear not, my servants, at least, remain to follow you in my stead. Layrin is your top warrior.”

The world began to shake, though whether it was in her mind or not she couldn’t tell. The fires began to grow, now consuming all they touched. 

“Wait, wait- I don’t understand!”

“All will be made clear. Fear was the first creation; it came about me unintentionally. It pains me to see it persists in you. But you will break down the barrier, my dear.”

The earth rattled; trees crashed to the ground. Elowen looked to the table and found vines of pure darkness consuming it. The plates, once filled with decadent food, were covered in crimson and bone. Tears filled her eyes and she felt more fear than she thought possible to feel.

“It is a shame, the universe kept me from you until now. I wish I could be here to see all you do.”

“Wait!” 

Death began to dissolve into dust. 

“Wait! Don’t leave me! Please!”

When she blinked the chaos that had surrounded her was gone. All had burned until ashes and ruin became everything. It was silent. She had never heard such silence before, like there was no other existence beside herself. The only light around her was from the moon and stars. 

Wishing to see the rest of the world she inherited her body began to float, commanded by her will. She floated until she was able to see it again, the city she so despised. She flew to it.

The buildings were crumbling, nature had overtaken all of it. 100 years had passed, she didn’t know how she knew. The air was cold and foreboding - she could feel the universe gazing, with its eyes of a thousand stars, at her back - fog swirled about the air. She heard a fiddle in the distance. A shadow was far ahead in the fog. She didn’t know how, but she knew it was Layrin. She could feel the presence of every one of the man’s servants, as he had said, they were all still here. 

As she gazed upon the ruin city, with all life but that which was immortal gone, she found herself smiling.