For Two Weeks

Olivia groaned as I dropped my arm that was keeping her weight up, causing her to stumble face-first onto the bed. Her upper body was on the bed, her legs dangling off of the side. I scooped up her legs, swinging them onto the bed. She groaned my name irritably, causing me to roll my eyes and mutter about what a baby she was being. 

When Olivia told me she had an idea of something that would make me feel better, I was not expecting a rager party that would put a fraternity to shame. I mean, who was I kidding? I knew damn well what was going to happen. This is what has been happening for the past two weeks. I was just hoping the old Oliva would be back. I just hoped that it would be a Twilight movie marathon with our favorite candies and end with us giggling we assess off. Not end with me holding back her hair as she throws up everything that she has eaten in the past day. 

“Are you feeling alright?” I asked her. I was not expecting a response but did it more as a courtesy. 

She groaned again, taking that as my cue to leave her alone. 

I patted her head and left the room, shutting the door behind me. 

The house was pretty much deserted due to Olivia and her ex-girlfriend Ava's screaming match. Once a glass was thrown aiming originally at Ava but nearly popping me, I yelled at everyone to leave, leading my very drunk best friend into the bedroom. No one wanted to stay anyway. Their happy go-lucky-vibe was ruined clashing with their catchy party songs and popped xannys. 

Olivia was a mess, bawling her eyes out, then puking, then trying to get up so she can party again, her stumbling, me leading her back down to the floor, her crying again, then puking. All on repeat, like that song you have been obsessing about having it on rewind. Except, you don’t want this to be on repeat or have been obsessing over it. Eventually, she started to doze off, her face smashed to her forearm, which was resting on the toilet. 

The house was torn apart. Broken bottles from Olivia’s meltdown, trash littering the floor, pools of unknown substances on the floor, food in random places. An absolute mess. My heart sank. I closed my eyes as I started to prickle over. The thing was as much as I had an awful day at work and needed a happy distraction, I wasn’t mad at where my night took me. Olivia has been spiraling out of control and she needed me more than I needed her. The first core memory I have of Olivia was from sixth grade. Where we were asked to present poems on something that matters to us. Olivia’s was a rambling of a happy ever after. It was about true love kisses, happy families, endless smiles, and loud waves of laughter. It was so sickeningly sweet and naive. And if anyone else were to present that poem they would have been made fun of. If I presented the poem, I would have been bullied for the rest of the year. But everyone clapped for Olivia and exclaimed to her what a good job she did. She was a ball of sunshine, kind to everyone, and not a soul didn’t like her. 

Now, there she is lying on the bed, devastatingly drunk, unbearing heartbroken. I knew that Olvia couldn’t handle waking up this mess in the morning. This is what my last couple of weeks have been like, cleaning up after Olivia’s messes as she’s been spinning tornadoes. I started collecting some cans as I made my way to grab a trash bag. 

A raspy voice called out, starting me, “I already started a bag.” 

I swung around to find Ava, tired Ava, holding out a trash bag.

I was surprised that Ava was here, that she was helping clean up considering the fact she’s been MIA ever since the accident. 

Anger boiled in me, seeing her still here, her cleaning up as if she still has a right to be into this house. I huffed towards her, stealing the bag out of her hand. 

The hurt on Ava’s face filled over her causing me to stutter the words that were about to come out of my house. Ava and I were friends. She loved Olivia more than a person could love anyone. She was the knight in shining armor in all of Olivia’s stories, the person to sweep her off her feet in every romance… the true love kiss. I adored Ava to death for making my best friend happy. But now the hatred I had for her has been boiling over the two weeks since her absence. 

“Why are-” I started, about to yell at her for still being here. Ava cut me off, exasperated and tired. 

“I just want to help clean up. I know how Oliva is with mess and I….” She trailed off looking confused and sad, “I just want to help.” 

I stared at her in disbelief and in my own confusion. 

“Please.” She whispered.

My heart sank. Battling between my once friendship with Ava, the protectiveness I have for my best friend, and my tiredness from the horrible day at work. I looked around at the mess, knowing it would take me hours to clean it up by myself. Knowing that if Olivia woke up the mess, her guilt would bury her aiding her in her downward spiral. Looking at Ava’s sad desperate eyes and her voice lingering in my head when she said please. 

I nodded slowly, handing her back the trash bag. 

“Alright,” I said defeated. 

We worked together in silence as we cleaned up the house. Music was still playing softly from the speaker, someone must have put on Billie Elish before the party was thrown down. The music was too somber to be played at a party and Billie’s sad melodic voice filled the empty spaces in the room. Olivia had been my anchor since the day I met her. Since the day she recited that silly poem about happiness and rainbows. After Olivia had recited her poem with so much passion, love, and naiveness, something inside me broke. I was so hurt that I didn’t have that. I didn’t know where that part of me went and I had no idea how to get it back, that beautiful childhood sense of happiness. I just knew it was gone and the world's Oliva has recited burned a hole into me. A tear fell down my cheek and I had angrily wiped it away, refusing to let that stupid poem get a hold of me. Right as I did that Olivia and I made eye contact. She smiled, a knowing, comforting, soft smile. A smile that reminded me of home and family. Ever since then, Olivia made it a point to give me back that childhood sense of happiness. Letting me practically live with her family when things got really bad, becoming my family, letting her family be my family. She saved me. She helped guide me to the person I am today.

That’s why this is so hard. Olvia is not the type of person to cause scenes, to party every night, to scream and yell, hiding away with people in the bathrooms she never met before doing god knows what. This isn’t her. That’s me. And I had no idea how to help her even though I was so desperate too. When everything happened, I knew things were breaking down like the speed of light. I saw the light in my best friend's eyes leak out. I was so scared but I knew Ava was there and I held onto the hope that with Ava and I supporting her everything was going to be alright. Olivia would be alright. Then Ava left. Radio silence. Not answering one of my calls and pleads for her to help me bring Olivia back. She packed her bags overnight and disappeared just like that. Olvia refused to talk about and hadn't spoken Ava’s name once since the accident. And would lose it if I even began the syllable -Ah-. Now out of all nights, the worst of all nights, Ava shows up, sauntering in the house looking for Oliva.

I watched Ava, she looked almost as broken as Olivia. She had bags under her eyes, her hair disheveled, her face sagged and exhausted. 

“Why did you leave?” I blurted out. 

Ava looked shocked when I exclaimed it, making eye contact with me for the first time since she has been here. 

“Why would you go- I needed you,” I said exasperated, “Oliva needed you.” 

Ava looked confused, hurt, and angry. 

“What are you talking about?” She exclaimed. 

But I was already talking over her, the anger, the exhaustion, the desperation taking over my voice, “You should have been there. I wasn’t enough,” I cried out. “You have no idea how bad it got.” 

“You didn't respond to any of my calls and it just keeps getting worse,” I had dropped the trash bag I was working with now, “Olvia needed you!” 

The confused and tired look on Ava’s face was replaced with pure anger, “Olivia needed me?” She scoffed, “Needed me!” 

“Olvia made it clear she didn't need me,” I didn’t understand what Ava was saying. Then again I also did not understand what they were fighting about when Ava stormed in. I had been in the kitchen, talking to a friend when I heard the screaming. When I came out I heard bits and pieces that did not make sense but then a bottle was flying at my head. 

“Why wouldn’t she need you?” I choked out, “What would make you possibly think she didn’t need you after everything that has happened? Did you see her?” I pointed at the room Olivia was currently in, “Do you see what’s happening here? How much has she changed in just two weeks?” 

“That is not my Olivia! That is not our Oliva! I’m watching her disappear from my grasp and nothing I do is working…” I took a deep breath, “And where were you?” 

The hurt that flew over Ava’s face dug a knife into my gut. 

“I don’t understand,” Ava whispered out.

As much as it killed me seeing Ava looking hurt and knowing I was causing it, my anger was rising, “Olivia hasn’t eaten in two weeks. The only thing she has drunk has been ridiculous amounts of vodka. She’s disappearing for days on end coming back high and confused,” The anger in me poured out and I couldn’t stop it, tears were streaming down my face, “Where were you?”

Ava yelled back at me, “What the hell was I supposed to do stay! Olivia didn’t want me to stay. She made it clear she didn’t want me to stay. We were doing great, amazing and one day I woke up and she told me she doesn’t love me anymore and asked me to leave. Was I supposed to force myself to stay!” 

“You’ve been acting like I’m the bad guy in all of this so you expected me to answer your calls?” She exclaimed in disbelief, “I don’t even know why I came tonight. To beg for her back,” She scoffed. 

Confusion washed over me. All of this was new information and I wasn’t sure if I believed what Ava was saying or not. Olivia wouldn't do that, not after what happened. Why would she do that? It didn’t make any sense to me. I was shaking my head in disbelief.  

“Why are you lying? Just own up to your shit!” I yelled. 

Ava opened her mouth but was cut off by a small voice. I swung around to see Olivia. She still looked drunk and was holding on to a ledge for support. 

“Miki-,” She said my name softly, “Ava is telling the truth.” 

I coaked my head to the side, “I… I don’t understand.” 

“Miki, I did everything she said. I just don’t love her anymore, okay?”

Olivia was shaking her head, “It’s my fault, okay. Leave it alone.” 

Why would Olivia do that after everything she has been through, why would Ava believe Olvia didn’t love her. Ava knew how much Olivia loved her. And Olivia was Ava’s world, Ava wouldn’t leave Olivia alone if she knew about her diagnosis. Even if Olivia said she didn’t love her. The Ava I know wouldn't leave her side. Then it dawned on me. Ava didn’t know about the diagnosis. Shock took over my face and I looked at Olivia startled. As if reading my mind Olvia shook her head. The look in her eyes was pleading.

Olvia looked at Ava avoiding eye contact, “Ava go home.” 

Ava’s shoulders slumped and I knew that was the last thing Ava wanted to do. I wanted to blurt it out. I knew Ava would stay if I told her everything. She would know that Olivia didn’t mean it and everything would be okay. With Ava’s help, Olvia would stop spiraling. But, Olvia’s eyes were pleading with me. 

I bit down on my lip and let out a breath before saying, “Go home, Ava.” 

Ava’s eyes washed with hurt but she nodded. The moment the door closed behind Ava, Oliva fell to the floor bawling. I walked up to her cradling her in my arms. I didn’t know how to clean up the mess.