Nothing Like Family

I know they say there’s nothing like Family, but anyone who says that clearly has never met my Father. He hadn’t spoken to me nor my brother in years. I’d like nothing more than to just pretend that he didn’t exist. Unfortunately, in life we rarely get what we want. I guess it would only be fair if I started a little earlier. It was about two weeks ago when I had to pick up my brother on his last day of high school. I was mentally preparing myself because I just couldn’t believe that the time had finally come for my little sprout to finally bloom. Sorry, I guess I’m getting off track, anyway I had walked into the school to tell the front office I was here to pick up my brother Jack. They were preparing to call him up when the lady in the front office seemed to just remember something important. “Oh, you mean Jackson Williams. He was just picked up by his father. I’m surprised he hadn’t told you.”

              I was took a step back and was totally stunned. I was thinking there had to be some sort of mistake. There’s no way in hell that this man would try and waltz back into our lives after causing our mother so much grief. Did he finally find some semblance of a conscience? I didn’t believe that for a second. All this caused was immediate distress for me and without a moments notice I rushed out of the school and headed straight home.

              I was losing my mind just thinking about what could’ve happened. I immediately called my brother to see what the hell was going on. The phone rang a couple times, but the pause between each ring was unbearable. I decided to just head home and pray that it would all work out. The moment I got home I jumped out the car and ran straight for the door. My hands were fumbling about so much that I dropped my keys.  I told myself that I just needed to calm down take some deep breaths and hope for the best. I turned the key and opened the door and walked straight for the kitchen.

“Jack!” I yelled out. I walked to the kitchen and sadly it was as empty as I left it this morning. I called again and just as my heart was racing I finally got a response, “What’s up?” I was honestly confused cause the voice definitely didn’t come from my brother. It was far too deep for that. That told me It had to be him. I ran up the stairs and I saw my brother playing a video game with my father. He was just as big and intimidating as I remember. After getting over the terrifying image that was my father I looked past him and saw my brother still focusing on his game. I contemplated telling him to step out for a bit, but instead I signaled my father to head downstairs with me.

I was expecting things to get way messier, but I was beyond surprised that he complied with no fuss whatsoever. Once we made it downstairs I directed him right outside the door. It took everything in me to remain calm seeing as the rage within me was increasingly difficult to hold in. So much so that I couldn’t but raise my voice once I finally spoke. “What are you doing here!” I said aggressively. My father looked straight into my eyes and just remained quiet. “You’ve been gone for over a decade and haven’t sent so much as a birthday card. Now you suddenly want to come and play papa on one of the most important days of your son’s life?!?!” He continued to look straight at me and only spoke 3 words. “Are you done?”

I couldn’t believe my ears. The disrespect towards me was so immense that I couldn’t hold it In any longer. Without even thinking about it I slapped my father across the face. Immediately after I realized what I had done. I had close my eyes and braced myself for painful retaliation. For a moment there was complete silence I slowly opened my eyes and just saw him looking upwards towards my brother’s room. “I deserve that.” He said as he headed back into the house. I was beyond confused but I wasn’t letting him out of my sight until he explained himself. I grabbed his arm but noticed he was still looking up. “You clearly don’t want to tell me what you’re doing here, so you at least can tell me why you keep looking up!” I said. He just sighed. “Clearly I’ve done things that have done some things to you to say the least. I could definitely have done better that’s for sure. I’m sure you got a lot you want to say to me and at some point we’ll get to that, but for right now let’s let Jackson enjoy this day.”

              I remained skeptical even after hearing his words, but I had to admit he had a point. I reluctantly let his arm go and he headed into the house. I’m still not sure to this day, but it sounded like he had said “Thanks.” I was feeling so many conflicting feelings after that interaction that I just decided that the best course of action was to take a quick nap. I headed for the couch, stretched out, and rested my eyes. Before I knew it night time had hit before I had woken up. Once I opened my eyes and popped up I ran upstairs to my brothers room just to see him sitting in his room watching TV. I feeling of relief overtook me I almost fell down after that burden was taken off my shoulders.

I walked over and sat down next to my brother. The room was silent and a little awkward, so I figured it would have to be who would address what just happened. “So, that’s our dad.” “Ok, good you brought it up cause I didn’t know who was gonna say something first.” Jackson laughed. I was completely surprised with how well he was taking it, but then again he never has been one to let outside things effect him too much. “So, I don’t think I’ve ever asked do you even remember anything about him?” “If I’m honest not really.” His answer had completely thrown me off. At that point I knew I was out of the loop somewhere. “Really? How did you know what he looked like then? Before he could answer a separate voice did for him. “I told him he was coming to get him before he went to school.”

 I turned and saw my mother. She looked just as tired as usual so I hesitated on calling her out for keeping me out of the loop so just like with our father I signaled for her to talk in the hallway. She nodded and walked down the hall. “I’ll be right back” I told my brother. Once we reached the end of the hall. I had no choice but to be a little rude with my mom. “Alright, what the hell were you thinking letting him pick up Jack?! You know what he’s capable of we’re beyond lucky that he isn’t bruised or injured!” I took off my jacket and pointed to the large scar under my arm. “Did you even think about the fact that something like this could happen to him and- “Before I could finish my mom cut me off swiftly. “He’s dying!”

My arms and mouth dropped wide open. “What do you mean he’s dying?” My mom looked down the hall to see if my brother was listening. She decided to speak in as soft as a voice as she could. “He’s got a stage 4 lung cancer and the doctor told him that’s he’s got about 3 months left.” I didn’t know what to think. The man who had caused me so much grief when I was young was about to leave this earth. I had thought about this day for a long time, but now that it was approaching sooner rather than later it didn’t feel nearly as satisfying. My mom pulled me into a long hug as I stood there stunned. “You know me better than that I wouldn’t let that man anywhere near you two for any other reason. I wanted to tell him off, but he said he wanted to connect with Jackson and at least do right by him.”

I should have been a little happy over the fact that he had finally come to his senses and wanted to be a father. That’s the life I had wished I had my entire life. I think it was due to that that made me so angry. It took the fear of death for that man to figure out that he should finally step up and be a man. I wanted to curse his name, but I remembered what he said, “For Jackson’s sake” I didn’t like it but I decided to tolerate him for the time being. “So, when is he coming back?” I asked. “He’ll be back next Saturday for Jackson’s party.” I was hesitant to the idea of him being at such a big event in my little brothers’ life. I mean it’s right after his graduation for crying out loud, but despite it all I accepted it. I still wish I hadn’t even now.

Saturday had come and the backyard was surrounded by family, friends, food, and fun. I looked around and greeted practically every guest who came. After a while I had just accepted the idea that he had done what I expected and just wasn’t going to show up. I decided I should just enjoy myself as well. The DJ we had paid had gotten on the mic and gave a nice shoutout to my brother for finishing high school. It was a nice message I can’t remember the exact words, but it was nice to hear. After he said what he wanted to say the music started and I couldn’t help myself I just started dancing like crazy. As I was just getting in the zone, I felt a tap on my shoulder and low and behold it was my father.

After he showed up my mood had just been completely killed. I gave him a look that clearly said, “what do you want.” “I brought a gift where should I put it.” He said. I told him all the gifts were being put on the table in the kitchen and he simply nodded and headed straight there. After that interaction I hadn’t really seen him for the rest of the night. Me just being near him was a total mood killer, so I figured that was for the best. The night had started to come to a close, so I had said goodbye to most of the guest and out of nowhere I heard a scream from the kitchen. I don’t think I’ve ever ran faster than in that moment. In no time I reached the kitchen and saw my mom standing in the middle of the kitchen stunned. I ran over and tried comforting her. “What’s wrong?! Are you okay?!” Tears began to roll down my mothers face. “All the gifts…. they’re gone.” Come to think of it she was right all the gifts barring the one in the middle of the table were missing.

I tried to comfort my mother a little further. “This is terrible, but it could be worse, ya know?” She looked to me with tears still streaming down her face. “No, you were right look in the bag and read what’s in it.” I walked over and started digging inside the bag and pulled out the graduation card. It read, Hey Jack, it’s your dad I’m sure you had as much fun as I did when I was last there. I’m so happy to be back as part of the family, but right now I’ve come under some hard times. I might need to hold some of these things for a bit, but I promise I got you in the future when I’m back on my feet. Thanks buddy,

 Love Dad. 😊

I was beyond furious. I didn’t even realize I ended up crumbling up the card. To this day I still blame myself for letting him out of my sight let alone even allowing him to show up here. Before I knew it a tear ended up rolling down my face as well. I always thought it was due to me thinking about how my brother would feel, but I sometimes question if that was really it. Whatever the reason that day told me a lot about myself, but especially my father. He showed me that for some people there are more important things than family.