Love Can't Wait

In movies, they show romance by one person waiting for another, to show their love. Afraid to make the first move in case you’re wrong. I’ve spent my whole life waiting, or at least it’s felt like it. The day that changed was when ‘she’ came into the picture.

I huffed irritably, although, let’s be honest, it wasn’t really any of my business. I mean, he’s a grown man and can do what he likes. Andrew had gone out on some lunch date (under the pretence of a “catch up”), with some old flame he apparently knew from when he was a kid. Ever since he had left that morning, I was on edge. I paced, I cleaned, I re-arranged the ornaments on the shelves – I even dusted the blinds. All the chances that I had missed flashed through my mind. A constant stream of regret. Would I have another opportunity? Probably not. Not if his date has gone well. Considering his boyish good looks and natural friendliness and charm, she would be putty in his hands. In the end I had called my best friend, as you do, to get it off my chest.

Don’t worry, she had said, it’s a date, not a marriage proposal.

I laughed at that. The logic in her words made sense, but I was still afraid I had blown it. And he probably didn’t even feel the same about me. We had been roommates for the last year, and in that time we’ve already become close friends. We’re both students and the agreement was for us to share this bedsit and split the costs between us. My parents had warned me against such an idea, after reading horror stories of people trying and not getting on with their roommates – or ending up trapped with some psycho killer. Of course, none of that had happened. We had hit it off from the start, and found a lot in common.  

Finally, I heard his car pull into the drive.

I flinched as Andrew shut the door, my nervous system kicking into overdrive, as it always did around him. Or maybe it was because I knew where he had been. Even now, seeing him standing there set my skin on fire. I looked up.

“How did it go?”

Andrew threw his coat onto the coatrack and smiled.

“Yeah, it went good! I haven’t seen Lucy in years. We just went to this coffee shop on Broad Street and talked about the old days. You know, back at school her nickname used to be Lulu.” He laughed. I managed to stretch my mouth to mimic a smile.

“Sounds like a poodle.” I muttered. He walked over and grabbed a cup from the cupboard, placing it under the coffee machine.

“Nah, it was all in fun.” He paused, “It’s a shame you couldn’t come.”

“What! And get in between you two lovebirds?” A light-hearted laugh escaped my throat, and I saw Andrew’s honey coloured eyes flicker.

“It’s nothing like that. You’d be welcome to come next time?” Next time. The words echoed painfully through my mind. So he was planning on meeting miss-goody-two-shoes again. I pulled the milk out of the fridge and handed it to him, nodding my head towards his coffee.

“Did you want the sugar?” He nodded. As I turned to the cupboard behind me, he caught my arm.

“Ellie?”

“Yeah?” I prayed he wasn’t going to repeat the question.

He hesitated.

“Don’t worry about the sugar. I’m trying to cut down.” I nodded.

Sitting at the kitchen table, I watched him stir the milk in his coffee. ‘Lulu the poodle’ had probably done the same not even an hour ago, reminiscing over a high-school fling. Could I really blame her, though? I mean, I’ve had twelve months, and still haven’t managed to find the courage to take my chance. I bet she’s blonde, too. He likes blondes. Not the fiery red hews of my own hair that he constantly teases me about. No, there’s no way I’d have a chance. I’m just not his type. I shook my head, trying to figure out why I was acting like a sulky teenager over this.

Andrew had sat down opposite me now, and was currently staring into his cup as if there was something remarkably interesting he could see there.

I smiled, “You’ll need a snorkel if you lower your head much more.”

He glanced up and met my eyes.

“Sorry. Just deep in thought.” He took a sip of his coffee and grimaced.

“Just not used to the taste yet.” He said on noticing my expression. I shook my head and tried not to smirk.

“Not sweet enough for you?” I asked.

His eyes suddenly fixed on me.

“It’s always sweet enough for me.” My breath froze as I stared at him, and he lowered his eyes.

“The coffee, I mean.”

“Right” I was amazed that my voice sounded controlled, steady.

My smile faded as I remembered he had said Lucy was in town for the next week, not just today.

“So, are you doing anything tomorrow then?” I looked down at my hands as I waited for his reply.

He shrugged, “I haven’t decided.”

“Oh.”

“What about you?” He waited for me to meet his gaze.

My mouth suddenly felt like the Sahara desert. Jumbled thoughts battled in my mind, trying to form a cohesive sentence. Eventually, Andrew dropped his gaze again.

“Right, well… I’m going to take a shower.” He took his cup to the sink, pouring the rest of the coffee down the drain.

He started to walk towards the door.

“Um… Andrew?”

“Hmm?”

I pushed myself off the chair and grabbed the takeaway leaflet on the counter, holding it up.

“I was thinking of ordering takeaway tonight. Did you want any?”

He smiled, “Sure. You getting Chinese?”

I laughed, “Do you even need to ask?”

He flashed one last smile at me before leaving the room. A second later, he was back again, standing in the doorway.

He ran his hand through his hair. God he looked so hot when he did that.

“Um… just so you know, me and Lucy…”

I nodded to indicate I understood. In all honesty, I didn’t understand anything, but for a brief moment, I allowed myself to forget about Lucy, aka Lulu. I could stop thinking of the great time they probably had together reliving their memories, and relish in the simple comfort of our friendship. I couldn’t deny, though. I wanted more. Much more. For the first time, I allowed myself to imagine Andrew and I together. I had to at least try. I would not give up without a fight, and tonight over takeaway; I would finally take my chance. I would wait no longer.