The Fourth Christmas Ticket

2:32 pm

Jonathan heard a horn on the quiet street and knew it was meant for him. He quickly snapped a photo of the package he’d dropped on the welcome mat and grabbed the railing to steady himself on the iced over carpeted stairs. (Who carpeted outside an apartment building?) He jogged as safely as he could back to his idling van which was blocking a quarter of a driveway next to the building. 

“Sorry!” He shouted to the stone faced driver waiting to pull onto the street. Her non response was better than some of the other ones he had gotten today. 

The winter storm was making his day that much longer with all the added precautions, but it had made his kids happy. School was out for Christmas so they had all day to be outside building snowmen and igloos or sledding with their friends. His 6th grader had even left her phone in her bedroom when she left the house that morning, a Christmas miracle to be sure. 

Jonathan double checked his mirrors and pulled out slowly. The back was still half full with packages but the icy roads and narrow streets were no joke. He had heard on the radio one of their drivers had gotten into an accident and one more was waiting to get towed out of a snowdrift a few blocks away.

He had a few hours left to deliver, then the quick Christmas Eve staff party for those who had pulled the short straw with scheduling, then finally he could go home to wrap the remaining presents and spend a few hours with his family before the kids went to bed. He loved the Christmas Eve energy even more than Christmas. His 7 year old son was the only Santa believing hold out in the house but his older sisters had kept the secret and played along, writing their letters to Santa alongside him. 

He and his wife, Caroline, had stuck stamps and return labels on the envelopes and he had put them in his work bag to deliver to Santa. Later their bedroom became a budgetary war room trying to figure out how they could get a few of each of the things on the kid’s lists without going into more debt than they already had to this year. He thought back to Christmas as a kid and wondered if his parents had done the same thing for them. He had come from a family of 4 kids and had always wanted a big family of his own, but he never anticipated how much it would cost to give them the life Caroline and he wanted for them. The sports gear, the music lessons, the clothes as they grew like weeds, the phone and computers needed for school, the college education down the line…

They might have been on track still if his agency hadn’t downsized in June. He scrambled to find anything in Advertising, he had put all his eggs into that basket. He was a talented designer and writer but his small agency was forced to tighten their belts anticipating another recession. They decided his work could be done by low cost college grads or another department using free design software online. 

His colleague Amy had picked up gig delivery work immediately and pitched it to Jonathan. He held off as long as he could but eventually wound up applying to the ubiquitous delivery giant as well. He had applied to their remote advertising jobs as well but so were hundreds of other applicants and he never heard back. In the meantime he accepted the blue vest and Sprinter van and put his head down to work.  

His phone dinged as he pulled up to the next house and he saw a short grocery list from Caroline. He mentally adjusted as he grabbed two boxes from the trunk: finish packages, work party, grocery store then home. He slammed the door shut and sent a mental thank you to whoever had shoveled and salted the walkway to the apartment as he jogged up to the door. 

7:58pm

A few people had groaned when they planned the Christmas Eve work party (or said outright they wouldn’t be attending), but Jonathan was looking forward to a few moments with his coworkers. So often they were passing ships as they came and went with deliveries but when he did get to talk to them he got to peek into all these colorful lives. Driving in The Company van with The Company vest dropping hundreds of packages a day they were invisible to most people (unless they needed to complain). It was nice to see each other, and be seen. 

Like Rafael, who was trudging up to the door from the other side of the lot, he started driving two years ago after retiring as a Firefighter of 25 years with the city. He had a pension and benefits from that but his family all lived in Puerto Rico and he was bored just sitting at home after years of his erratic exciting schedule. He had no issue working the holiday or overnight shifts since he didn’t need to rush home to anyone, so he was a friend to all who needed to beg off a shift or swap, and he knew the city like the back of his hand.

The men greeted each other inside the door as they were stomping off the snow and ice from their boots and Rochelle almost ran into them.

“Hope ya’ll are feeling lucky!” she taunted, “because I definitely picked up a winner!” She waved a handful of scratch off tickets as she skirted around them to the locker rooms. 

“You can be my lady luck, Ro!” Rafael flirted back. “But don’t use it all on me, you’re gonna need some too for these.” He waved back his own colorful fan of tickets. 

Jonathan tapped his pocket to check that his 5 were there as well. They had discussed Secret Santa gifts or a potluck for the Holiday party but they were all so sick of seeing packages at work and buying the necessary presents that they decided to do a scratch off trade to try their luck. Then they had all shared their fantasies about what they’d do with their winnings. 

Rochelle had made them laugh with how quickly she started rattling off her list of big purchases and extravagant trips. “What?! You don’t have to get ready if you stay ready. This place is a stop for me, my destination if going to be com-fy!” She was born and raised in Queens and always had entertaining stories after a decade as a gate agent at JFK. Jonathan knew she had married young and had a few kids with her ex-husband, she had stayed with him for as long as she could for the sake of the kids but after he put her in the hospital she left. He hoped she won something today, but he thought of his dangerously low checking account and sent up a little prayer for his own luck.

The rest of the skeleton crew trickled in and their dispatcher came out of the radio room to start the party. “Hey team! I know it was a challenging day, so thank you all for your hard work in the face of that. There are some drinks and food set out and The Company sent gift cards for all of you in the cards over there.”

Jonathan looked for Amy at the mention of the gift cards just in time to see a massive eye roll. She had been in the HR department at their ad agency and was well versed on how a company should treat its employees. This knowledge was galvanized when she joined The Company and saw the cavalier and often dangerous conditions in the name of productivity and output. He knew she had gone toe to toe with their supervisor more than once and was starting a conversation about a union that could put a target on her back. He was glad she was on his team.

“Don’t forget to throw your tickets into the bowl and grab your five before you head out. Merry Christmas team!” He finished the brief speech and turned the Holiday music back up on the radio, everyone dispersing to private conversations. 

They ate and drank and tickets were thrown in and picked out of a large bowl. A few people scratched them right away, groaning at the unrewarding ones or cheering over small winners. Rafael even managed to get $100 on one of the small $1 scratchers. 

The gift card turned out to be $50 which was more than Jonathan anticipated from the massive corporation. Amy just deadpanned, “Right, I’m sure Roger will really appreciate spending that while he opens another medical bill that The Company has deemed him responsible for after his warehouse injury.”

Finally someone said the first goodbye and everyone else started grabbing their coats and hats to follow after. Jonathan picked up the remainder of the food, not wanting to leave a mess for first shift on December 26th. He also knew someone would eat the remaining cookies when his extended family came over for Christmas dinner tomorrow. 

Almost out the door he remembered the tickets and ran back to grab the last 5 in the bowl. 

9:18 pm

Groceries in hand, Jonathan pulls into the driveway. He manages to open the front door with his hands full and sings out his usual greeting, “People, people, people!” to which a few voices still sang back, “Dad, dad, dad!” His eldest looks up from her phone briefly and waves in acknowledgement. 

He finds Caroline in the kitchen with a flour covered apron over her slightly protruding belly. This was one more unpredictability of their year, but they were ecstatic to welcome their fourth (and last) child. His feet ached from the week of driving and delivering he had just put in but the thought of little no name arriving next year makes them hurt a little less. 

Caroline’s hair is pulled back into a haphazard ponytail. It reminds him of the one she always tied up before they would run around campus together in college. He was in awe of the way she would sweep it together in one pull, wrapping the tie around it once, twice, and pull tight before smiling up at him and asking “you ready to eat my dust?” She turns around distractedly to greet him and there’s flour on her cheeks as well. They’re both smiling as they kiss hello, “Hi babe, brought the rest of the things you need.”

“Oh thank you! I’m almost done with the sweet rolls. I need to shower and wrap the gifts and lay down soon.”

“I’ll get the kids ready for bed.” He holds up the cookies from the party, “I figure we can leave these out for Santa with a glass of...” 

“Not the milk!” her eyes are wide, “I need that for the cream sauce tomorrow!”

“Not a problem, looks like Santa will get,” he rummages in the fridge, “delicious unsweetened almond milk!”

She relaxes and waves her hand at the milk, “Perfect, that was for those healthy smoothies I was trying to make but it honestly tastes like water,” she points at her belly, “This one is demanding something more satisfying.”

They catch up about their days and the timeline for people coming over tomorrow. He starts moving the kids upstairs through their bedtime routines. Eventually they all crowd into one bed to read the Polar Express and he is closing the last bedroom door. He can hear paper cutting in the bedroom and feels like he is physically struck by how content he feels in this moment. 

11:32 pm

The tree is twinkling in the corner and the news is on low volume on the TV. Jonathan finally sits down in his chair and feels the stack of tickets bending in his front pocket. He grabs them along with a quarter and starts scratching starting with the smallest, a Lucky 7s ticket. 

The news is showing a carousel of photos of the heavy snow, downed traffic lights and emergency vehicles at intersections around the city. Jonathan is scratching his third non-winning ticket, the images making him grateful all over again to be home safely with his family. 

He moves on to the 4th ticket, scratching the middle block, three rows of numbers shaping up beneath the cartoon trees and presents. His eyes start bouncing from the key of numbers meant to match with the ones he’s revealed. 

He needs 47, 3, 12, or 18 to win. 

He scans absently while taking a sip of his beer. 

The first row: 39, 21, 13, 4. 

He revisits his key again, the 21 making him think there was a match to the 12 in the key. He lifts his eyes to check the news. Now it’s showing their NFL team having to scrape off their snowed in vehicles after returning from an away victory. 

He starts scanning the second row: 30, 47, 18, 9. 

He double checks the 30, but there’s no 0 in the key, just 3. 

He sees the 47. That matches. He sees the 18. That matches. Double checks both numbers and his heart starts to beat a little faster. He sets his beer down and starts seeing the theme and title and other details of the card for the first time. 

The part that matters most is the one he barely saw. The orange bubble letters with a comic book-like cloud behind it. UP TO $100,000! He tries to tamp down the involuntary bright hopeful feeling inside himself, “up to” is what it said. That’s all. 

He zeroes in on the rules above the key. “Match 1 number for $10,000, 2 numbers for 5x ($50,000), 3 numbers for 2x ($100,000). 

He is having trouble reading the card now because it is shaking. 

Wait, he is shaking. 

He sets it on the side table and reads the rules a second time then a third. He still has one row of numbers to check, he scans them quickly: 12, 19, 14, 2. 

12.

That’s 3 matches. 

That’s $100,000. 

THAT’S $100,000. 

He reads and rereads the card and the numbers waiting for something to be incorrect, feeling like he was back in high school triple checking the test booklet before handing it in, looking for the semantics that meant it was really A and not C like it seemed at first glance.

The numbers stayed the same, the multiples of the money stayed the same. 

He thinks back to the locker room, he had stayed quiet just listening to everyone else talk about what they would do with their winnings. He knew what he would do with his. He would finally trade in his old Honda and get the passenger van they needed now that they were going to be a family of 6. They would pay off the credit card debt that had been growing since June. They would go to Disney world before his oldest had outgrown the magic. They would refill the savings that had depleted while he looked for work, to prepare for whatever other unknowns came their way. They would fix the roof and finish the basement so they had enough bedrooms for the family. He could finally take time off to look for work in earnest again, not just at night if he wasn’t bone tired from delivering for 40+ hours a week in the winter weather.  

It wasn’t glamorous like Rochelle’s dreams, but it was real, and it had still felt out of reach. But now it was real again, because the money was real. 

He couldn’t believe this little colorful ticket meant all those massive things for his family. He is suddenly bursting with the reality of it, he feels like he’s drunk. His adrenaline is high and he needs to share this with someone. He picks up the ticket and runs up the stairs 3 at a time rounding the corner and throwing open the bedroom door. The presents are stacked by the closet door and Caroline is curled up on top of the bedding in his oversized robe with wet hair. The lamp is still on but she’s sleeping deeply and he can’t bring himself to wake her knowing how tired the pregnancy has been making her. 

Looking at her now he can’t believe this is their fourth child. She looks just like the teenager he had met in college. The little lines around her eyes are there from laughing at the bad jokes he tells her, or enjoying the beach when they were able to take vacations. The lines make her look more beautiful, more like herself than the girl he had first met. The few silver strands in her hair match the ones in his and are just one more thing they will do in step with each other, one more thing they share. 

He walks over to the wrapping materials and takes out a tiny silver bow. He sticks it halfway to the top of the ticket, the other half to her phone that’s charging face down by the bed. 

He wants this to be the first thing she sees Christmas morning.