Survivor Mode

Its a cold snowy day in this busy hometown. Everyone is taking a vacation of one way or another, either locking themselves up after getting supplies, or going out-of-town. Myself, I am going to a cabin the the woods my parents own. I have had my fill of the job I was in, the stress was enough to drive anyone into a killer mode. All the time the thought of knocking out my boss then laughing all the way out the door was appealing at the time, so yesterday I decided a road trip was in order.

I packed for the snow of course, all the clothing that was necessary, the boots and the snow pants, a warm yellow coat that was extremely thick with down feathers, and may pairs of insulated underwear with a lot of socks made of wool. Along with the essential warm pants and insulated button shirts of all colors. All the utilities was on I believed, so there was nothing to fear. A few good books to read, a few boxes of tea to drink, and the food was in ice chests so nothing would defrost on the trip there. 'I am ready to go' I thought to myself after packing up the car and locking the front door. Onward and upward, away we go.

The drive was a long and winding one. The snow was still coming down, of course, making the roads a little bit slick, but still maneuverable. The sounds of the tires on the slushy pavement made me thing of snow cones that you eat at a fair in the middle of summer. Thoughts like this kept me occupied during the times when I was not struggling to stay on the road . The thoughts of turning around and going back was ignored. I was going to be there all weekend, and the snow was not going to stop my peaceful retreat. I would learn later that it was not going to be peaceful by any means.

Driving up the steep hill to the cabin, a small prayer was said under my breath. I tried to stay where my tires would have the most traction, a trail that was hidden by snow was not the easiest to find. 'There must be a foot of snow out here already. I wonder if everything is alright. I would hate to have to turn around and go back because I could not get up this hill that is being unbearably difficult.'

Finally, the cabin was in sight. A little prayer and a 'thank God I made it' was said under my breath. Now is the time to unload everything, with a lot of moaning and groaning. Also, a little swearing as my feet came out from underneath me and I fell with an armload of groceries, the bag split from the fall. I had to pick them up and hold them tight as I tried to run the gambit of getting into the house. The porch was so icy. I wish I had brought my crampons to attach to my shoes to not slide from the steps to the door, taking my chances that another fall was not too soon. My fingers were half frozen from the fall with the groceries, for I had forgotten my gloves in the front seat of the car. How silly was that? I knw that I needed to brave this nasty weather one more time for the last load, carefully stepping into the prints in the snow that i had made the trip before. Even with doing that, it was inevitable. I stumbled on the first step, but not fully falling. My knees now hurt from the tumble. They were scraped up, but not bleeding, therefore not needing immediate care of.

I was finally inside. It was so dark that I could not see in front of me. I had forgotten the placement of the furniture, it had been many years since I had found the time to take off work and just come here and enjoy the scenery. Usually, it was the summer when the trees were green and all the wildflowers were in bloom, their fragrance stuck in the air to where all night sitting on the porch you could smell their beauty. As I felt around on the wall by the door, I tried to find the switch to turn on the lights. Nothing happened! Aft first there was a fear of no lights, but then remembered that there was candles in the pantry for emergency use. That is where I thought I was headed. I lost my bearings and ended up in the bathroom. I laughed hard, I was glad I was there in the bathroom, because I had to urinate since I got there, and laughing just made matters worse.

"So no lights! Wonderful." I said out loud. Now I needed to just take a deep breath and find those damn candles. After touching what seemed to be every wall in the cabin, I found the pantry with plenty of candles. Mostly little ones and a few tall column ones. Hope the electric came back on soon, or I would be in the dark until the weekend was over. After lighting a few candles to see where I was going, I headed to the kitchen. Then I realized with no electric, there would be no refrigerator. Thoughts came into my mind immediately, there was no refrigerator and no way of cooking on the stove. All I needed was food poisoning on this trip, roads were getting worse and no way to get any help. I had a thought about refrigeration, I had a cooler already, just put this outside. If it was cold enough to snow, it was cold enough to keep my things cool. So that is what I did. The wind felt cold on my face as I opened the back door. It felt even colder once I closed the door, I had let more cold air into an already cold space.

I had brought my computer laptop with me, and lucky for me it still worked, but how long it would work was still questionable. This trip to me seemed to be doomed from the time I arrived here. Just a thought, what ever is happening here, I realized that my phone has not been ringing off the hook. So many people knew I was here for the weekend, and there was no a message from anyone. Curious how this gut feeling was bothering me. I checked my phone. "Oh great! No phone service!" This realization made me very anxious. How am I supposed to get help or notify anyone that I am stuck here in the middle of nowhere with no phone, no electric, and no internet? What a mess.

After a short tie of anxiety and panic, and looking outside at the snow blowing the the wind and getting deeper by the minute, I realized that now is not the time to panic. I knew outside the door there was logs of wood, and I just have noticed that there was a fireplace in the living room. 'Yes, something good is happening after all'. I thought. 'At least I wont freeze to death after all.' So, I got on my coat, put a scarf around my face, and braved the outdoors. I forgot my gloves, and really did not like that at all. The logs were full of snow and ice, and burned at my fingers from the feel of it. I hoped there were not too wet to burn. Once back inside, I found papers and small sticks for kindling. On the top of the fireplace on the shelving there was a box of matches, dusty from non-use. After a big hefty sneeze, I giggled. If I had one match lit just then, It would have been wasted on a dusty sneeze.

Once the fire was lit, I sat and listened to the crackle of the wood as it took off to become a roaring fire, heating every inch of the small cabin that I would call my shelter for the next two days. I found some utensils and pots and pans, and put on water for a needed cup of tea, tea bags that I was glad I had packed. Tea sounded good after all the coldness I was in so far during this say in a cabin that I was thinking was the worse mistake of the week so far. After some nice lavender tea and a bowl of hot steamy soup, I settled into a comfy chair in the center of the room. It was lit by the light of the fire, so I knew I would stay warm there. I found a few blankets and a pillow beside the chair in plastic bags. I took them out and covered myself with the blankets and put the pillow behind me.

My stomach was full now, and my body was warm, and I was finally a bit drowsy. Lucky for me, I had brought a few books with me on this trip. I had brought a book of adventure, another one of history of Germany, and one more that was a love story. The love story would be the last to be read. I had already experienced adventure, so I was more into that at the time.

The days went by quickly, and I realized I never really needed everything that was outside of this cabin. I realized I was fully capable of doing things for myself. I noticed how some things came automatic, like thinking how to survive without electricity, my phone, and not even the internet. This was things that in my life I would have imagined living without, not even for a moment. It was calming here at his cabin in the middle of nowhere. No one needing anything, including my time to myself that I will now treasure every chance I get. I would also remember for a long time the peace of this place for the rest of my life. I will keep going to this cabin when things are too hard to handle, when I need the extra time to myself to regroup my thoughts, and prove to myself again and again that I am a survivor, no matter what the words deals me. I will always have grand memories of this cabin and what it means to me.