The Shopping List

The Shopping List

The List

A man is walking ahead of you in the supermarket where you do your shopping. When driven by the curiosity that sometimes suddenly captures you in such situations, you look over his shoulder. You pretend to be reaching for something high on the shelf above him. What you are really doing is looking at his shopping list. You just can’t resist, as you believe that you can read people’s personality or lifestyle in their shopping lists.. What you see written there makes you feel pretty confident that you know parts of his life quite well. 

Heading the list is a note written in large letters reminding him to purchase 48 cans of wet dog food.  He has written in bold underneath that, “They must be the all beef variety, but venison will do.” This is followed by a reference to two large bags of kibble which “must contain no grain whatsoever”. Then, written in large letters is a reference to buying a big bag of dog biscuits –“containing the biggest ones I can find.” 

You might wonder a bit about the next item – two packages of stewing beef. He must be buying something for himself. And his dogs appear to already be well-fed.. And you might note that there was nothing else on the list, no fruits, vegetables or grains. Definitely this guy is not a vegan. Your considered assessment of his shopping list is that this man owns several dogs, big ones, and they doubtless play a large part in his life. You would be almost right in this assessment, but also very, very wrong. You would not suspect a thing about the real purpose for the intended purchases recorded in the shopping list. It is beyond your experience, beyond even your imagination

The Shopper and the Cashier

The man who put all the few but large items on his shopping list into his cart goes to the 12 items or less line. The female cashier says, “Well, Mr. L., it has been about a month since I saw you last. How are your dogs doing?” She smiles in hope of a reasonably sociable answer, but not really expecting one. The man grumbles, almost growling the words “the pack is fine” in response. The speaking for the rest of the transaction is almost all one way, coming from the cashier, with a few barked out replies of “yes” and “no” to questions about how he is going to pay. This is not the first time she has tried to engage him in conversation regarding his monthly visits involving a dogfood intensive shopping list..

The Shopper Goes Home

The shopper walks home carrying his heavy load. There are no visible signs of his ownership of dogs in either front or back yard. There is no dog poop, no holes dug in places appropriate only to canine logic. There are no well-worn dog-trodden paths. There is absolutely nothing to indicate that dogs live there or even visit there occasionally.

           Inside the house as well, there are no signs of the presence of dogs. There are no dog dishes and no leashes or collars hanging from hooks on the doors. Most surprising, but also most conclusively, there are no dogs at all, big or small, roaming the rooms and looking for attention and something to chew. This man clearly does not own any dogs. Does he have a friend, a lover or a family member that does have one or more dogs? It seems unlikely. Maybe he is an avid supporter of animal shelters, and is going to give his entire shopping list away to such people, except, perhaps for the stewing beef. The truth lies elsewhere, but cannot be seen in the house, now or ever.

That Night

           That night there is no moon. The sky is fairly dark, although there are plenty of stars and no clouds in the sky to obscure their light. The man who bought all the items on his shopping list is walking briskly from his house. He is carrying two heavy bags and a shovel in his strong hands. The bags are large enough to be carrying two dead dogs, but that is not what is inside. He is going to bury something tonight, but the burial is not of a dog or any other pet.

           He reaches his destination, then puts down the bags and leans the shovel against a tree. The shovel is then put to good use, digging a deep hole rather quickly and efficiently. He has obviously done such digging at least several times before this night. Then he puts the bag with all of its content, into the hole. Curiously, he then scatters the contents of the other bag all around him, as if he were throwing seeds for wild birds to feed on.

           The scene then begins to shift into strange. The man takes all of his clothes off, and lays them on the ground beside him. Then he bends down rather awkwardly. His hands touch the ground first tentatively, and then he positions them so that they can support a significant part of his weight. What happens next is almost too bizarre to believe. The man begins to change shape. 

Then, not far away, a group of animals can be seen slowly walking towards the man. They are a pack of wolves. When they approach him, the man no longer is human in appearance. He is now a wolf, one much bigger than the others, the alpha. A feeding follows .

The situation can be understood as a kind of reverse of all the stories you have heard and read, and seen in many a movie, good and bad. The man is no Lon Chaney. He is not a wolf man. In no way is he a Canis sapiens. He is in fact a Homo lupus – man wolf. And he does not come out only when the moon is full, quite the opposite. He transforms and feeds his pack mates only when there is no moon at all in the nighttime sky. This regularly happens the day that he makes out his monthly shopping list, and purchases what he and his pack need beyond what they can kill for themselves over the intervening period.