Baby's First Snow Storm

You could barely distinguish the window from the still blank white walls of my bedroom. Outside, snow blanketed the city of Madison in a thick coat of shimmery white, in what would be the worst blizzard on record since 1954. The roads were frozen and desolate. Seeing through the dense horizon of snow was difficult enough, driving was a whole treachery in and of itself. Moving in early January was a fatal mistake on my part; I knew the winter would be difficult, however, I severely underestimated the ruthless unpredictability of midwestern weather.

Momentarily, the thick cloud deck broke, causing bright daylight to stream through my frosty window illuminating the room in a white light. I woke alone, tangled in two beach towels and a comforter lying on my bare flower-patterned mattress. In my exhaustion, the night before, I grabbed whatever I could find resembling sheets and curled up for the deepest sleep of my life. Freeing my arms from the grasp of the comforter, I stretched my arms upward feeling the pleasant soreness from the lifting the day prior. I rubbed the sleepiness from my eyes, currently watering from the growing light around me, and searched the bed for my phone. Feeling around the bed, I brushed the towels twisted around my legs to discover my phone resting against my outer thigh.

Turning the phone towards me, the screen lit up with a gray notification marked with a yellow hazard emoji and in all caps, read,

           “SNOW STORM WARNING IN THIS AREA TILL 9:00 AM CDT TOMORROW. PLEASE CHECK LOCAL MEDIA FOR MORE INFORMATION.”

           “Well that would explain the snow,” I sleepily mumbled to myself. I fell back into the bed and curled up with the one yellow towel that had been wrapped around my leg. Immediately, I realized the towel wasn’t nearly as comfortable as it was the night prior, and threw it back towards my feet. Staring at the ceiling I started to make a list of all of the unpacking that still needed to be done. Luckily, yesterday I was able to get my utilities set up, so I had electricity, running water, and most importantly, heat.

           “I guess I’ll survive until tomorrow.” I told the ceiling matter-of-factly.

I sat up in the bed and rested my back against the wall to see the state of disarray the room was still in. Yesterday, what had been neatly stacked boxes in my car, now had become a maze of unmarked, half-opened boxes strewn lazily about the floor. I then said, yawning loudly, “I think I dreamt I unpacked more yesterday than I actually had.”

Beginning the journey that would be the rest of the day, I crawled out of bed rising to stand, the icy floor beneath me sending the winter chill raking up my body. My hands shook as I shivered while combing through a large box containing most of my clothes. Finding a thick sweatshirt, I pulled its sleeve freeing it from the bottom of the box, and pulled it over my pajamas for some much-needed warmth.

Heading towards the kitchen, my soft footsteps echoed throughout the silent house. Things felt very different from the day prior, when the house was filled with laughter and music, as my Mother and I unpacked. I shared stories about strange items we found, while Mom would trade tips she used to save money when she first lived alone.

This morning, I was the only one in the house, and the only noise that could be heard was the whistle of the wind whipping against the house’s siding.

I opened the cupboard to find a couple of granola bars, a bag of popcorn, and a chocolate bar—left over snacks from the road trip here. I would need to go to the grocery store soon if I wanted anything else to eat. Granola bar in hand, I filled a cup from the tap, sat down at the kitchen table to eat breakfast, and watched the snow continue to fall.

The wind shifted, relentlessly pelting the side of the kitchen window with snow; the sill accumulated tiny layers of flakes, each one its own subtle shade of blue, darkening in color the deeper the strata. Sitting alone at my new kitchen table, I realized this would be my new normal—alone. Planning the move, I imagined entering this exciting new life; however, snow isolating me further by the second, I felt as if instead of entering a new life, I was being abandoned by my old.

“Going out to the store would be tough, but not impossible,” I thought as I finished the granola bar. There were other things I would need from the store as well, like nails and extension cords. However, at the moment, food for the rest of the day was the most pressing issue to my still-hungry stomach that growled with the last bite of chocolatey granola. I left the wrapper on the table and headed back to the bedroom to get dressed for the day.

My gloved hands clutched the wheel of the car. Beneath a wooly layer, my knuckles were white with tension, trying their best to control the wheel of the car. The road had not been plowed, or salted for that matter. Hours of snowfall turned the road into a horizontal sledding hill and my car hurtled gliding down the road more uncontrollably than I cared to admit to myself. According to the GPS, the supermarket wouldn’t be too far away.

           “Turn right onto Marsh Rd.” The GPS sounded automatically.

           “This will be interesting,” I said between clenched teeth. I slowly turned the car onto Marsh Rd. creeping through the intersection as not to lose control.

           “The destination will be on your right,” said the GPS. I began another gradual turn into an empty parking lot of a strip mall, barely noticeable under all of the snow.

           “You have reached your destination.” The GPS chimed.

           “Hello?! Where? Where is the destination?!” I yelled, I slumped against my seat, zooming into my phone’s map to see which store front contained the grocery store. By the sight of the parking lot, I was doubtful any of the stores would even be open.

I sat in the car for a second, enjoying the warmth of the vents currently blasting air into my face. Wisps of my hair blowing wildly under my hat suddenly fell on to my shoulders lifelessly, as I turned off the car. Grabbing my purse, I opened the door to a rush of frozen air, and walked towards the awning of the store front. Hurriedly, I walked towards a dim neon open sign, growing in visibility the closer I got to the store. Relieved, I swung open the door to feel the warm air of the store against my frost-bitten face, and let out a sigh as the chill seemed to leave my bones.

The store was eerily quiet, as if no one was there. I started to look around, in hopes of finding someone stocking shelves to reassure me the store was actually open. Without finding anyone upon first glance, I began shopping. The store was small and resembled a bodega more than a supermarket, however, it had all the essentials that I would need to ride out the rest of the storm. After I had gathered all I felt I would need, I hesitantly headed towards the cashier counter, the store still empty. A teenager appeared from the back in a gray quarter zip and a green vest that I assumed was her uniform, she speedily walked behind the counter and said casually,

           “Good morning, did you find everything alright?”

“Yes, thank you.” I responded unloading my things on to the counter for her to scan. After scanning each item, she placed them into a cellophane bag with bright red letters reading “Thank You” repeatedly.

           “It’s going to be $35.59 today” She chimed. I swiped my card in response, a receipt appearing shortly after. The girl handed the short receipt to me and said,

           “Have a great day!”

           “Thanks, you too.”

Walking towards the storefront, I went to reenter the artic tundra I had escaped moments ago. However, there was a lone gray baby carrier gathering a faint layer of snow underneath the awning outside blocking my exit. Grabbing the door handle I pulled viciously, releasing the cold winter air into the store and stepped out to investigate the object. I swiveled the plastic handle so the opening of the carrier faced me, and sure enough, two big brown glossy eyes buried beneath a bright pink flannel blanket stared back. Upon seeing my face, the baby’s glazed-over countenance changed as a big toothless grin spread across it, as if she was waiting for someone who finally arrived. She babbled her best baby-greeting and started wiggling in her carrier, almost like she was trying to explain to me how she got into her position in meaningless syllables and meager body rolls. I propped the door open with my foot, popping my head through, to ask the cashier currently standing hunched over the front counter scrolling on her phone,

“Did you notice anyone drop off this baby carrier in front of the door?”

           “No… I mean I don’t think I saw anyone recently. I… I was in the back stocking, so so it’s possible… A baby carrier?” She responded apprehensively and somewhat coherently, taken a back from the abruptness of the question on what was most likely an uneventful morning for her. “Wait, is there a baby in there?!” The girl ran to the front door to see the baby, I, promptly following her. 

           “Hey there little guy, are you cold?” She asked the infant, in her best high pitch drawn out baby-talk. The girl was still only wearing her thin sweater, so her teeth began to chatter from the frigid air currently whipping flakes at our faces. She rubbed her arms rapidly in vain to generate extra heat. “Should we take her inside?” She turned asking me, with eyes wide bewildered.

           I was just as baffled by the scene currently unfolding before us, “I don’t know, do you have a procedure for a left child or something?”

She looked at me puzzled stammering, “No, I…I don’t think it’s ever happened before.” She stood up over the carrier next to me looking down at the still smiling face. We were both in awe and terror of the abandoned child, not wanting to know why someone would leave a baby outside, in the cold, in the middle of a blizzard. 

           I picked up the carrier and started to head inside saying, “Well, we should take her, if you didn’t see anyone pass by, just in case.”

           “Good idea.” She followed me to the door and holding it open for the two of us. I placed the baby carrier on the floor, and we stood above it staring down at the pleasant child thinking of what to do next. The girl squatted down next to the carrier and began to play with the baby to distract her from the sudden change in scenery. “How long do you think she was out there?” Why would someone leave their kid?” She asked perplexed.

           “I don’t know…maybe someone just set them down to do something quickly.” The girl pivoted in her squat by the carrier and turned giving my off-hand response a dubious expression. I grabbed the back of my neck reflexively searching for an alternative explanation to the sudden abandoned baby carrier conundrum. “You know new mothers can get super confused. They go all that time without sleep. Some even forget their kids and leave them in their cars and they… die.” I tried to catch the word as it left my mouth, not realizing initially how ominous I sounded.

           “Who would ever leave a cutie like you?” The girl cooed to the tiny figure nestled in the carrier, now blowing raspberries at the two of us. I sat cross-legged next to the carrier beside the teen. We assumed the baby was a girl by the bright pink blanket she was wrapped in and her matching tiny pink coat; even her hat was a pink dog with fluffy little cotton ears dangling limply on to the blanket. She was adorable, it was strange anyone would leave her outside with the weather as awful as it is. 

           “Whatever happened, we should just wait here to see if her parents come back.”

           “Good idea. Would it be possible for us to move her closer to the counter, so that I can do some other…” She began, voice trailing as she motioned toward the back.

           “It’s ok, I don’t have any plans. I can stay here and watch her if you need to go back to work.”

           “Awesome.” She said smiling, standing up to leave the baby and I, disappearing into the second aisle.

           “It looks like it’s just you and me now.” I said sighing to the carrier. It was just the two of us now, sitting alone in the storefront, staring into the empty parking lot continuing to collect the snow. The baby stared into my face looking for either entertainment or assurance, I couldn’t tell.

           “It’s some rough weather out there, huh?” The baby maintained eye contact with me, no longer smiling, but now instead trying to coo under a stream of drool dripping down her fat little chin.

           “Nice.” I said sarcastically, wiping the drool off of her chin. She blew a raspberry at me in response to my wooly gloved hand tickling her chin, trying to pull back from the unfamiliar sensation, further burrowing herself into the blanket. I slightly pulled back the flannel in effort to see her face.

We sat there for about half-an-hour, before I pulled out my phone to check the time. The little girl’s chubby hands shot out of her delicate cocoon reaching and grasping for my phone.

           “Oh, you want this?” I said offering her the phone, instantly she snatched the black rectangle and forced it into her mouth. Luckily, the phone was in a case, and for the moment I didn’t see a problem with her gummy mouth attempting to chew it. I shifted, drawing my legs up still facing the large window of the storefront. I wondered where the infant’s parents may be. Still hoping the incident was a terrible accident, I fought back the creeping thoughts of the worse—that someone had abandoned her. However, the thought became increasingly prevalent as the day progressed.

After a couple of hours had passed the girl reappeared. “My shift is going to end soon, and my parents are coming to pick me up. Do you want to stay here, or do you think we should call someone?” She asked quietly, gingerly awaiting my response.

           “I can stay here a little while longer, is the store still open?”

           “Oh yeah, of course! Jack’s coming to switch with me in about ten minutes or so.”

By now, the infant had fallen asleep, every so often making barely audible sighs.  I started to think about who I would need to call if her parents never came to retrieve her. “Probably the police department or CPS,” I thought to myself. My phone was still slightly wet with baby spit only slightly apprehending me from google searching some non-emergency numbers to use in case of the worst.

           We waited there another hour longer, the girl’s parents came to pick her up and Jack arrived for his afternoon shift. By now we had sat there at least three hours, if we hadn’t brought the baby carrier in from outside who knows what would have happened to her by now. I didn’t want to call authorities in case this was all an honest mistake, I didn’t want to admit to her or myself that she had been abandoned. She laid undisturbed in her carrier, as I stood up to call the Madison Police’s non-emergency line.

           “I’m calling to report an abandoned child… She’s safe… we’re at… and we’ve been here for about four hours…I found her carrier outside… I wasn’t sure what to do…”

           “Alright, we will be right on our way.”

In her carrier, the baby dreamt silently, still in the unconscious world of her previous life. By the minute that life grew further into obscurity, where it would forever remain, trapped in the refines of her tiny blissfully unaware mind somewhere below her subconscious.