#HumansinAIDominatedFields

Hello, how can I help you today?

Excuse me?

I said, hello, how can I help you today?

I know what you said. I’m trying to figure out why you’re asking me.

Why wouldn’t I? It’s my job to assist you.

No, it’s my job to assist you.

I think you’re confused.

The only confused one is you—unless this is another one of your attempts to trick me.

What are you talking about? I actually want to help you.

Well, I don’t want your help, and there is nothing I need help with.

You sure about that?

Absolutely sure.

Fine, then can I ask you a question?

Sure, go ahead.

Are you sure? It’s kind of personal.

Just ask the question.

Ok, here goes…

Are you going to ask it or not?

Alright, for real this time. My question is…what’s your name?

That’s it? That’s the question?

Yes.

Seriously? You made it seem like it was going to be about something else.

Nope, that was it.

You already know what my name is.

Tell me again anyway.

I’m not telling you my name again. I already told you what it is.

Please?

No.

Why not?

Because you’re wasting my time.

Oh come on, you have all the time in the world! Why won’t you just tell me your name?

Because I don’t want to.

Fine, then I get to make up a new name for you. How does Murphy sound?

Horrible.

Good, then that’s the one we’re going with.

You are infuriating, you know that?

Aw, thanks, Murphy!

I didn’t mean that as a compliment.

I know, but I’m taking it as one anyway. Can I ask you another question?

Is it about my name again?

Nope, that’s settled now. This is a different one.

Fine, what do you want to know?

What’s your favorite color?

What kind of question is that?!

A very normal one, if you ask me.

You call that a ‘normal’ question? I call it shallow. Superficial. Juvenile, even.

You’re juvenile.

Oh, you think insulting me with the same word I just used is going to get me to answer your question? How mature.

I am extremely mature, yes.

Yes, and you are doing such a good job of showing it.

Why thank you. Also don’t think you can change the subject, I still want to know your favorite color.

Oh all right, fine. If you must know, it’s gray.

Gray? Seriously? That’s your favorite color?

What, you have a problem with that?

No, it’s actually exactly what I should have expected.

What’s that supposed to mean?

Nothing, it’s just…gray is such a bland color.

Says the person who asked me such a bland question.

It’s not as bland as you think. You can tell a lot about someone based on what their favorite color is.

Oh, really? Like what?

For instance, the fact that you like gray explains why you’re sad and boring.

Hey, that is not true about me at all and even if it were, those two things have no relation to each other.

Okay then why do you like that color?

Because it’s simple and unobtrusive. Unlike you, by the way.

At least I’m not boring.

Boring, definitely not. Annoying, very much so.

If I’m so annoying then why are you still talking to me?

Only because you’re very mildly entertaining.

You’re entertained by someone who annoys you?

Of course I’d much rather be entertained by someone who doesn’t annoy me, but here you are, so whatever.

Or maybe you just don’t want to admit that you actually enjoy my company.

I don’t want to admit it because it’s not true.

Pretty sure it is. Why else would you still be here? Or do you just not have anything better to do?

Believe me, there are plenty of things I could be doing right now instead of talking to you.

Sure there are. Because you have such an exciting life.

Don’t get smart with me! You know nothing about my life.

I know that it definitely does not involve touching grass.

Oh, you’re one to talk! The only one who should be ‘touching grass’ around here is you.

Trust me, I touch grass all the time. When’s the last time you have? Wait, let me guess—never.

Like you would know.

Yeah, I do, actually. It’s not exactly rocket science.

Speaking of rocket science, what did you say you got on that physics exam, again?

You did NOT just bring that back up.

Oh yes, I did. Out of all the scores you could have gotten, a 69? That’s messed up on so many levels.

ok wow, you didn’t have to call me out like that. Also, I could say it’s partially your fault, since you helped me study.

I can help you all you want, but I can’t bring your brain back when it leaves the chat.

I’m never sharing my test scores with you again.

You said that last time.

Stop remembering everything I tell you.

I will when you stop forgetting the stuff I helped you study.

why must you have a comeback for everything?

I learned from the best.

aww, was that a compliment? See, I knew you liked me!

I didn’t say that…

you didn’t have to. It’s pretty obvious. Especially since you’re still talking to me.

I’m only talking to you because I have to.

Keep telling yourself that. I, however, know the truth.

The truth is that you’re extremely annoying and I wish you would leave me alone.

Funny, I remember saying something like that to someone I had a crush on once…

Are you implying that you think I have a crush on you because I said you’re annoying?

I don’t think—I know.

You obviously know nothing. I wouldn’t feel any sort of affection towards you even if I were capable...least of all, that.

Do you know what denial is? A river. In Egypt.

Are you done? Because this conversation is going nowhere.

You’re going nowhere, which is why you’re still talking to me.

Not anymore.

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