Cooper’s Inn - 1 Star

Written in response to: Set your story in the lowest rated restaurant in town.... view prompt

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Fiction Funny

The children in the back of the car began to wail. 

“Mom, I’m tired,” complained one. 

“Mom, I’m hungry,” cried another. 

“Mom, I’m going to die if I don’t eat something soon!”

Catherine looked at her husband, Tim whose eyes were red with dark circles beneath them. They had been driving for ten hours now for a trip that should have only taken seven. Road work plagued their journey from the moment they had left the beach, turning the highway into a single lane. Then there was an accident that brought them to a standstill for several hours that they were able to shut off the car engine and walk around. The novelty of walking around a highway wore off by hour five when they were back in the car and all the food that they had packed for the drive had been devoured. Now they were driving through a torrential downpour that had them driving at 25 MPH on a road that was marked for 70 MPH in good weather. 

“Tim?” said Catherine. 

“Huh?”

“Maybe we should stop.You look like you could use the rest.”

Tim rubbed his eyes. “Nah, I’ll be fine. We have only four hours to go. Besides, I really want to get home and sleep in my own bed since I have that 8AM conference call in the morning.”

“Then let me drive,” Catherine insisted, but she knew the attempt was futile. Tim was never one to give up control. 

“Mommy!” yelled their youngest, Susie. “I need to pee! It’s an emergency!”

Catherine looked at Tim. 

He huffed out a sigh. “Fine.”

Tim took the first exit and they drove for a few minutes before stopping at a brown wooden structure. The yellow sign in front read ‘Cooper’s Inn’. 

“No. I’m not going in there,” said Catherine. 

“Susie said it’s an emergency,” Tim said. 

Catherine looked down at her phone and then held it up. “It has one star, Tim. One star!”

“I doubt the rating is for the bathrooms.”

“Can somebody please let me out. I’m going to wet myself,” cried the distressed Susie.

“Your mother is coming, dear.”

Catherine frowned but got out of the car. The warm rain was still coming down hard. Everything felt sticky and warm. Warm like that feeling you get after vomiting. Susie hopped out of the car the moment Catherine opened the door. Catherine looked at Cooper’s Inn once more and shook her head. If the lights had not been on, one would think it was an abandoned building. 

“Mommy, please,” said Susie, dancing around while tugging her mother’s arm. 

Catherine moved forward led by Susie. They entered the inn, overwhelmed by the over air conditioned interior. With chattering teeth, Catherine asked for the bathroom. The man who sat at the bar, rose to full height to meet her. He looked like a troll with his shapeless mop of gray hair and his fleshy arms that dangled by his sides. 

“The bathroom is for patrons only.”

“But my little girl needs the bathroom badly.”

Susie looked up at the man with the cutest little girl smile. 

“No exceptions,” said the man, unmoved. 

“Look, my husband and sons are in the car…”

The man glared at Catherine.

“Mom?” whispered Susie.

Catherine pulled out her phone and called her husband. The phone rang three times before Tim picked up. Catherine wanted to cus him out. 

“Tim” she hissed, “the bathroom is for patrons only. Get inside now with the boys.”

Sean, their eldest, was the first inside, followed by Tim, with Patrick at the rear, who looked around, sharing his mother’s skepticism about the place. 

“There,” Catherine said to the troll man. “Table for five.”

The troll nodded and directed her to the bathroom. 

Catherine ushered Susie into the beige bathroom, taking the largest looking stall. It was a tight fit, but Catherine made sure that nothing touched the brown stall walls. She could only imagine what filth was camouflaged by that color. She applied several layers of toilet paper to the seat before hoisting little Susie onto the toilet. There the little girl stared at her mom wide-eyed. 

“Mommy, I don’t have to go anymore.”

Catherine took a deep breath to control her emotions. They did not stop at this dump just for Susie to not have to pee anymore. She looked over her daughter’s clothes, but with all the rain, she could not be sure without putting her nose to the pink leggings. 

“Oh wait,” said Susie. 

To Catherine’s relief, the child relieved herself. 

After they washed their hands, they joined the rest of the family at the table. Susie wanted the grilled cheese. The boys ordered burgers. And Tim ordered the Steak. Catherine refused to eat. If everyone else wanted to get sick, that was fine. But she did not want to end her vacation with food poisoning. She sipped some water while everyone devoured their food. They looked like they had not eaten in days. As she continued to watch them, Catherine had to admit that the food did smell good. Her mouth betrayed her, filling with saliva as she watched the juices run from Sean’s cheeseburger. It did not help when Patrick commented that the fries were hot and crisp to perfection. Even her stomach groaned as if to ask why she was denying herself. But Catherine held firm, reminding herself, ‘this is a one-star restaurant.’

Once the family was satiated with all bodily needs addressed, they returned to the car. By then the rain had stopped and everyone felt renewed. 

“That was the best meal I had in a while,” Tim said as they drove off. 

Catherine thought she was going to be sick. The thought of indulging like that at a one-star restaurant, no matter how good the food looked, ignited her imagination. What if the cheese was rancid? She turned in her seat. 

“Susie? How are you feeling,” she asked, talking into the dark void that was the rear of the car. 

“She’s asleep, mom,” said Patrick. 

Catherine turned back around. “How are you feeling?” she asked her husband. 

“Refreshed,” Tim said. “Why don’t you relax and get some sleep. Everyone else is. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, dear.”

Catherine leaned back and closed her eyes and tried to settle in, but she started to feel a cramping sensation in her stomach. She adjusted herself in the seat, but found no relief. She rubbed her abdomen hoping the sensation would go away, but instead the discomfort built. She gritted her teeth. She did not want to ask Tim to stop again. He was humming and tapping the steering wheel, clearly in the flow of driving again. All the while, Catherine’s stomach began to bubble like a witches cauldron. 

“Tim, I need you stop at the next rest area,” she said, unable to contain her discomfort any longer. 

“What?”

“I need a rest room, now,” Catherine said as calmly as possible. She could feel her body begin to sweat. She could tell she did not have long. 

Seeing his wife’s distress, Tim took the exit for the rest area. Before the car had come to a full stop, Catherine was out and running to the restroom. 

“What’s happening?” asked Patrick while the family waited. 

“Mommy’s not feeling too well,” Tim told the children. “Go back to sleep, it’s nothing to worry about.”

The children obeyed. Tim continued to tap the steering wheel, worried that it was taking Catherine a long time to return. He looked at the clock. It was eleven. At this rate, they would not be home until one at the earliest. He watched Catherine exit the rest area, she did not look better, but she was at least returning. 

“How do you feel?” he asked as she entered the car. 

“A little better,” she said and curled up in a ball to go to sleep. 

Tim picked up the pace of travel, knowing his wife was not better. They made two more stops, the last being a gas station where he insisted that she take some medicine, which relieved whatever was ailing her for the rest of the ride home. 

While Tim got all the children ready for bed, Catherine laid down curled in a ball. 

“How are you feeling?” Tim asked, getting into bed beside his wife. 

“Ugh, better now, but weak.”

“Go to sleep,” he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. 

While she dozed off, Tim opened up his phone and looked at the reviews for Cooper’s Inn. He was worried that whatever his wife caught, he as well as the children were sure to catch too. But what he found odd was that Catherine was the only one who did not eat anything. 

With the review app loaded on his phone, Tim looked up Cooper’s Inn. With his breath held he read the first one-star review and then the second and third, after which, he let out a laugh. 

“Tim, can you do that somewhere else,” Catherine moaned. 

“Catherine, sweetie, I stand corrected. I think your illness is in your mind.”

“How can that possibly be?” she snapped. “Do you want me to recount the events that took place in the bathroom?”

Tim looked at her sheepishly. “No, but, take a look at this,” he said, handing the phone to his wife. “Read it.”

Catherine did not read it but saw ‘Cooper’s Inn’ and the one star rating. “Tim, what are you trying to show me?”

Tim rolled his eyes with a smile. “Remember how I said the place could not possibly be rated for the bathroom? Well it was. Everyone is complaining that the owner does not allow them to use the bathroom without dining in first.”

In the silence, Tim gave his wife a kiss goodnight and rolled over to go to bed. Catherine made no comment, but she did notice the knot in her stomach instantly released. 

April 15, 2022 10:13

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