The family drag

As the cars tires burned literal rubber, it tossed up enough dirt to make the sandiest desert envious of the spectacle. Visibility was almost nil, but Jacky was unconcerned. She knew these trails like a cherished memory, one of her and her father driving down these very same trails in a similar fashion, to be exact. Bringing her children here was like a reopening a chapter in her life and the close of another.

“Slowdown your scaring the kids” Richard panicked

“No Rick.” Jenny chuckled.“She's scaring you.”

“Well i'm sure Joel is terrified.”

With each bump Joel bounced up and down in his car seat, giggling and clapping his hands. “Yeah” eyes rolling like loaded dice. “Joel's terrified.” Jenny said with heartfelt mockery.

“Alright, alright.” Richard in good spirits pleaded. ”So I am the baby. Jacky could you please slowdown?”

“Yes mother.” Jacky retorted

“Yes mother!?” Jenny said baffled. “yes mother, seriously.” embarrassed of her lineage. “You took yes mother out to the battlefield, like it was an atomic bomb?”

“Sometimes you got to bring out the big guns.” Jacky grinned

“Oh my god.” Jenny said in disbelief. “Your not my mom.”

Jacky's family used to a be big thing in these parts. Being a part of this counties crash up derby community which had seen better days and was in decline. She was hoping to rekindle the embers of this counties’ heritage. Her families’ claim to fame was surviving some of the most gnarly mishaps, in the counties history. Might I add; surviving them, not winning them.

“So you were, a big deal around, these parts.” Jenny asked skeptically. On his coherent days her grandfather, Frank, would go on and on about her mothers’ exploits like a warped piece of vinyl skipping on the needle of time. But she always thought it was just the rosy cheeks talking.

“ You thought I was big deal, you should have seen your grandfather.” she remarked “Mind you he did a better job in the pit, doing repairs, and modifying the cars.” getting a bit emotional. “If he hadn't modified the car so I could fit better, my crash would be a hell of a lot worse.

When she got into her teens Jacky followed in her fathers footsteps who her mother said was too old for that sort of thing. So he resigned to become a mechanic of sorts. She was just as enthusiastic about Jacky taking over the reigns. But beyond some little remarks here and there she remained silent about it. She figured that if she attempted to persuade her it would only make her more reckless. If there was such a thing.

Jacky was a natural like her father. The perfect prodigy you could say not only having crashes legends were told of. She also brought home some trophies. And some media coverage which in the beginning was welcome, but their tolerance of the media circus, and the side show it brought, with it started to get on their nerves.

But like with any toss of a coin there is a wager lost. During one of the more brutal derbies Jacky was a part of what was one of the worst crashes the county had seen since her fathers’ day. The difference is he walked away from his. She suffered multiple cuts, bruises, and minor burns; but that wasn't the half of it, her left leg was almost twisted out of its socket. Her leg was never going to heal properly. She had been injured before, but this was the first one she never walked away from; so to speak.

It plagued her mind night and day; her crippled leg was a constant reminder of mortality and its’ unwavering touch. Its’ haunting presence loomed over every decision she made from that moment on. She became a painter like her mom. She had never wanted anything beyond following in her fathers foot steps but fear kept her from it. Her father was supportive of her decision even buying her “first” paints. Her mother had actually bought her paints days ago. Her father had kept the tools that his dad gave to him which was given to his father from his father and so on. The tools were almost unusable but it was a symbolic gesture. Like the paints would be. Plus it would ease Jacky's guilt.

She was considered quite talented by her professors, yet on occasion they would remark that some of her pieces were soulless. Purchasable by any aristocrat in a misguided attempt to seem cultured. But a true artist would never give it a glance. One of the better art teachers she had had from before, simply said to her that she should take another class. Concluding the conversation by saying “I hope you can find your heart, but it is not here”

Jacky new exactly what her former teacher was talking about. She had been trying to keep the world from knowing that she was nothing more then a hollowed out husk [of a person]. It was strange to be called out introspectively by anyone but Rick. But he was studying abroad. Yet the more that she thought about it and could see all the time he had been chipping away at her as if her soul was encased within marble.

She decided she would go home for awhile. Her last visit was a long time ago and a little awkward. But it was still a good time as far as she could remember. When she called her mom, Mary, she sounded a little troubled but, it was naturally buried by how, happy she was to hear from Jacky. She arranged for a bus to pick her up then her mom would drive her from there. Her instincts were right something was wrong with her father. Her mother never took the wheel. Jacky's mom got there in twice the time it would have taken her dad .

“Put your seat-belt on.” she said; Jacky wasn't listing.

“Alright what's wrong with dad?” She asked drowning out her mother.

“I'm doing great thanks for asking.” Her mother jeered.

“I'm sorry mother” Jacky said respectfully. “How are you doing?”

“Could be better, but we'll talk about that later.” her mother said, struggling with the words she would say. Hoping there will be no need for words.

Jacky broke the silence

“Mother?” She said, her poker-face was terrible.

“Yes Jacklyn?” Her mother Said lost in her worries

“I'm great, thanks for asking.” She said like it was comedic gold.

Jacky and her mother started laughing.

By the time they got to the family homestead, they where at ease with each other. In fact during the drive she opened up enough to tell Jacky about her father.

“Your father has dementia” she said with great relief, as if she was Atlas and no longer needed to carry the world on her back. Jacky was the first she told; she didn't tell their families she was afraid they would take him away from her.”

“What's new dads always been a bit crazy.”

“Jacklyn!?” she said astounded. Yet there was something more.

“I'm.” her voice trembled a lightly “I'm sorry” she said like a cracking damn.

“It's okay.” Her mother said. Who's expression was, having an identity crisis. I sort of said the same-thing to the doctor when he said they needed to run some tests.”

After awhile Jacky asked with actual concern. “Does this make us bad people?”

“Oh Jacklyn.” she said as comforting as she could be “You are far from a bad person.”

When she came into the entryway she was taken back by all the yellow sticky notes all over the place. “Where's the pictures and thread?” Jacky chuckled.“ How else will he find the kingpin?”

“Frank.” she hollered “Frank I've got a surprise for you.”

“Oh!” he said excited “did you make lunch early!?”

He came up the stairs and it was like Christmas. “Margret, its our daughter, our daughter.” he looked around confused. “Margret it-”

“My name is Jenny dad,” she continued “ I'm your daughter, j-a-c k-y.”

“Margret!” he proclaimed.” its our daughter Jacky.”

“Lunch is early, come join us.” waving Jenny towards the kitchen table.

“Lunch isn't early. Where'd you get that idea.” she asked.

“You said there was a Surprise.” he questioned confusingly.

“Jenny is the surprise.” she said

There was an awkward silence.

Frank was mumbling like he was trying to remember something

Jacky leaned into franks ear and said “I’m your daughter. Jacky

“Margret!” he exclaimed “our daughter is here!”

“Come now Jacky Le-'” something in Jacky's facial expression reminded Frank never truely came home that day after the crash “-watch some TV?” he could tell how relieved she looked that he made the right decision.

“Jackyln-” she was going to tell her that she needs to come to terms with what had happened but she new now wasn't the time. “would you like some tea?”

“I would love a coffee.” she said smiling with appreciation for not bringing the past up.

They talked well into the afternoon. Her mother excused herself to make up some more coffee and get some snacks. As usually their “little club meeting” ended as soon as they got there. Eventually the conversation turned to her art class; she had already neglected her mother in conversation so Jacky thought that it was about her time. Once she got to the part of the conversation when she talked about what her art teacher had said.

“Maybe these will help you find your heart?” and she pulled out the set of tools her dad had when she followed in her footsteps.

“I guess it makes sense mother to daughter.” Frank said happy and confused.

Jacky was speechless.

Jacky quit all her classes and went to work with her father in his shop.