Come to Think of It

“Isn’t that always the case?”

Why do bad memories always become the one who’s easier to remember but always the one who’s harder to forget? On second thought, there will be nobody who chooses sadness over happiness. So why are those bad memories the one who stays like everyone wants them to stay?

But it seems like the world didn’t work in those ways.

The world didn’t work the ways humans wanted.

“What are you trying to say?”

Sadly, there are still people out there who can’t take those harsh truths. Many of them, demanding what they want, demanding what shouldn't become the truth.

Sooner or later, they will hurt someone who’s actually the one

that they don’t want to hurt, the one that means the most to them.

“You’re always more concerned with other people's opinions than my own feelings.”

She is always wondering, why does someone want to look good in

front of others?

That's an absolutely ridiculous question, of course, good people will be helped by society, good people will get compliments from society, good people are appreciated by society, good people are beloved by society.

Good people will get good things.

“Do you want everybody to think that you’re a gross shit? You will

be grateful someday because I hide that disgrace!”

The other way around to bad people, who will get bad things. There’s no one who wants to help them, they will be trampled, shunned, and even rendered non-existent.

On the other hand, some people weren't aware, either they chose to close their eyes or they simply didn’t realize, there was something fishy about the idea of being good people and bad people.

There was some gray area that was often forgotten.

When the border between a good thing and a bad thing fades, making those two opposite things become one thing that is hard to recognize. Some people that are fortunately gifted maybe will stop for a while to think, is it a good thing or a bad thing? They ask. But some others who just pretend that they are gifted will immediately yell, that thing is a bad thing.

“Be grateful that you let the sinners free from his sins?”

The older woman's eyes blazing murderously, you could see that old veins were contracting on her neck and forehead.

“When I was your age, the kind of people like you were worthless. They were ignored and considered as trash, as a disgrace, and should be expelled from the city.”

Grievously, the border between a good thing and a bad thing never

comes back. Left many blank gaps between people nowadays.

That blank gap is exploited by others who happen to be gifted but

prefer to be bad people.

Maybe they think because there are no boundaries between a good

thing and a bad thing, stopping a while for thinking is such a waste.

After all, people that don’t understand, wouldn’t have any idea that they are a bad person.

That kind of people’s way of thinking is simple, actually, this way of thinking might bring good things, because we can’t forget about history, because history is the one who brings all of us to this point. Without history, we will never exist.

However, this way of thinking might also bring a bad thing, when

it applied in this scenario.

“You know, there’s one girl, we’re classmates, you won’t believe me if I say that she became insane after everyone knows. Too bad, even though she’s beautiful. I feel bad for her.”

Because of the simplicity of the way they think, it is so much easier to blame something under their control. They might think that something that is outside their control is harder to blame, even though this thing is the one who’s wrong.

“Yeah, but nowadays this kind o-“

The most unfortunate thing about such people is that they are always startled by new things that are the cause of the development of human thinking, comparing how easy it was now than it was before, how better it is today than their time.

“Shut up, I know what's best for you.”

But they forget that they’re not living in that time anymore. She sighed, staring at the older woman with all her soul struggling, the wound that still bled, the ugly whispering shadow mocking behind her, and all the things the older woman couldn't see.

The things that she should be able to see.

Either she pretended not to see them, or maybe she really didn’t have any idea. Or the other bad story, the older woman just doesn’t want to accept it. And what is her reason? The younger girl doesn’t know.

No! Maybe she knows, but it’s too scary to let them out of her mind. After all, it wasn’t something that easy to accept, especially for the older women.

Of course, it is. She always expected perfection, but she gets anything that is the opposite of perfection. Come to think of it, everyone must be upset, right? Maybe some of them can handle it, but the older women aren’t those kinds of people and never gonna be.

“Okay then.”

"You better get married."

There are many injustices happening in this world.

On second thought, it’s almost possible to judge injustice, because of that, many rights have been taken away, and sometimes these rights can no longer be taken even though the situation has become much better.

Unfortunately.

But well, no man ever says that the world is a fun place, isn’t it?

“I can’t love anybody.”

The older woman laugh, is the dumbest thing someone said to her. Come to think of it, there can be no human who doesn’t know how to love.

“Love will grow by itself when you are together.”

Well.

Is it really that easy?

And after all, what exactly is love?

“What if it turns out we can't love each other?”

Maybe, love is something that is hard to explain. Because love can be the reason for a union as well as separation, war as well as peace, smiling and sobbing and a thing between the two, a good and bad too, anything can happen because of love, even emptiness can be caused by love.

It's confusing, isn’t it?

“You really are too much, why do you think everything is a life and death situation? Why can't you just talk nice about something You know how scared I would be if that happened to you?”

Actually, love itself is something good, but people usually use

love for their reason to do a bad thing, because usually society will forgive

some destructive activity in the name of love.

“What if I want to divorce?”

“That stupid mind of yours is the reason why nobody want to be

with you.”

Love is really terrifying. Isn’t it?

“Such a burden.” The older woman whispered.

Sometimes love can be the reason why someone is willing to be hurt, even if that person thinks with the greatness of their heart, the people who constantly hurt them will change.

Love is incredible, but in fact, it’s not that easy for love to change someone.

Or maybe they’re just afraid that they won’t meet someone like the one they love. But seriously, who will choose to spend gorgeous dusk or pleasant dawn alone? It’s much better if they have someone to talk to.

The younger girl sighed. “Loving someone isn’t some easy job, once you get hurt it wi-“

“It's your fault, you didn't fight back when he did it, and I don't want to hold any embarrassment because of it, you should have screamed!”

But that's the truth, right? Love will be a difficult thing after

you feel pain. All humans were created to avoid something that causes pain to

them, that is one of the reasons humans have been able to maintain their

species until this moment. It is only natural that some people even refuse to

feel pain and end up avoiding something that caused pain in the past.

“You should use that mouth to scream, not against the person who loves you.”

Another sad truth from someone who is in love, is when the person who doesn't change starts hurting them to the point they think that they aren't worthy of being loved.

They are trash.

They are the bad thing.

They lost their love for themselves as a result of loving others.

“Stop being annoying!”

Or maybe they never own themselves in the first place?

Come to think of it, even before someone was born to this world,

people who would become their closest ones already had hope. Most of the hopes

are good hopes, at least according to those who already know how difficult this

world is.

Later on, some of them set some sort of standard to happiness, which in reality becomes irrelevant and even hurts, maybe too lazy to think of another way that might be easier.

Perhaps, in the other scenario, they are the ones who don’t really

care. After all, it was the way people before them taught them, and it proved to be successful, so maybe they think is impossible this lesson will fail.

“I’m really sorry.”

Sometimes, humility will only be reciprocated by a mocking face. Who doesn't feel guilty when trampling on someone's generosity, or even feels that they have succeeded in being at the top because they just brought someone down.

Humility also steps her feet away from someone who she hopes will be the one to support her, someone who should make her think that love is a gift from God to humans.

In the end, with herself she said. “I need to stop acting like I need her.”