Fate Finds Its Way

Madeline’s feet are firmly set in the stirrups and she is bucking hard doing her best to hang on. She aches all over and is sweating profusely even though she is shivering. The screaming of a wild animal pierces her eardrums. She recognizes the voice.

           As she is trying to fathom how she will survive the situation, she feels a heaviness settling across her chest. And then a voice.

           “It’s a healthy boy, Madeline. Congratulations.”

#         #         #

           David wrings his Boston Red Sox baseball cap in his fists, pacing the floor in the waiting room. His winter coat lies across a chair. Even through the closed metal doors, he hears the screaming. He turns towards a man sitting nearby.

           “Shit, Man. Is all that commotion normal?”

           The man is an expectant father. He nods and smiles. “Yeah, it’s normal all right. This is the third time the wife’s been through this. It doesn’t get any quieter.” He turns a Styrofoam coffee cup in his hands. “Could go on for an hour. Or more. Take a seat and make yourself comfortable. First time for you, is it?”

           “You might say that,” says David.

“You’re not going into the delivery room, either? I can’t handle the scene.”

“I’m not allowed in,” said David.

#         #         #

           Madeline holds onto the support pole as the subway train sways left to right and back. Friday evening rush hour, the crush of too many people. It’s a stress she doesn’t need. She dabs at the sweat on her forehead, opens her heavy coat and reaches around to massage her lower back. The train suddenly lurches sideways and she feels a pain shoot through her stomach.

           “Oh no!” She feels her amniotic fluid leaking. “My water!” Her knees buckle.

           “Help,” she cries as she grips her lower belly.. She leans back against the pole for balance and slides down to the floor. “Someone help me, please. I’m having a baby.”

           A man wearing a Boston Red Sox baseball cap steps towards her.

           “Make room,” he shouts. A middle-aged lady gets up and the man in the Red Sox cap directs Madeline to the vacated seat.

           “Ma’am, my name is David. I’ll help you. Squeeze my hand as hard as you can. Okay? And what is your name?”

           “Madeline,” she says through clenched teeth.

           “We’ll be okay Madeline.”

           David looks up at the subway map, takes out his cell phone and calls 9-1-1.

           “I need an ambulance,” he says quickly. “A young lady is in labour. We’re on the TTC subway approaching Castle Frank station, heading eastbound. I’ll get her off there.

           “I’ll ask,” he says, then turns to Madeline. “Are you okay?”

           “I’m scared,” whispers Madeline.

           “She’s scared,” he repeats her words into his phone.

           David keeps his eyes on Madeline. “Okay, I’ll do that. Madeline, I need you to take slow, deep breaths. You have to try and relax.

           “She’s trying to slow her breathing,” he says, then pauses. “Madeline, they’re asking if your contractions are severe.”

           Madeline squeezes his hand so hard they both groan loudly.

           “Oh yeah, they’re severe.”

           She grunts another deeper, longer moan.

           “Madeline,” David says. “The paramedics will meet us on the platform at Castle Frank. The folks at 9-1-1 are going to stay on the phone with us. You’re going to be alright.” He smiles at her. “I’ll stick with you.”

#         #         #

           Madeline opens her bedroom window blinds and squints out into the rising sun’s reflection off the snow. A clear blue sky. A beautiful day. She caresses the smoothness of her belly pausing hoping to feel her baby kick. It had been an active night and although the kicking interrupted her sleep, she remains in awe at the life growing inside her. She is glad with the decision she has made.

           The sadness of being alone at the Lamaze class, again last night, has eased. The embarrassment of not having a partner had been bothersome but she is, in fact, now at peace with that. She knows it will be just her and her baby to face the world. She smiles, rubbing her belly, and what a winning team we’ll be.

#         #         #

           Madeline knows there is always someone in your life with whom you can confide but she has to think hard of who might help her. Her mother would be a good listener but her parents don’t live nearby and she knows her father would destroy her for being so stupid. Her much older sibling has always been a know-it-all sister and wouldn’t be able to understand the youth of today.  And Madeline is adamant there is no way that she will speak with Dalton. Absolutely no way. He might have been her first but she knows now he was a bad choice. He must never know.

           Searching for a confidante, she books an appointment with the pastor of her local church hoping he will help. During their sessions, he assures her that their conversations will remain confidential. She feels at peace with the pastor. They have several chats and he is able to persuade her of an appropriate action.

#         #         #

           Madeline sits in the waiting room of the downtown clinic. There is one other person in the area. Neither woman talks to the other. Madeline feels the need to do so but is too shy to start the conversation.

           The other woman is called in first and as she stands up and walks towards the doctor’s room, she gives a quick glance at Madeline. Their eyes meet and Madeline notices a tear in the woman’s eye.

           When the door closes, Madeline squirms nervously in her seat. She wrings her hands together. After several moments she exhales forcefully and walks to the receptionist’s desk.

           “I’m sorry,” she says. “I’ve had a change of heart. Could you please cancel my appointment?”

           The receptionist smiles at her. “Good for you, Love,” she says. “You go now.”

           Madeline steps outside senses the weight of her burden set free.

#         #         #

           Madeline leans against the bathroom counter staring at the tester stick. It is the longest five minutes of her life. She mumbles a quick prayer. “Please God, don’t let it be.”

           It is too late for God to intervene. Madeline knows she should have thought things through more thoroughly several weeks ago. She continues to stare at the stick. Another minute passes.

           “Oh shit. No. No. No,” she shouts and swats the tester kit package off the counter onto the bathroom floor. “Damn that cannabis.”

#         #         #

           Madeline wanders away from the house party. Dalton, a new guy in town, wraps his arm around her as they walk to the lake. They sit on a park bench and Dalton lights up a joint of  marijuana.

           “Here,” he says. “When you inhale hold your breath for several seconds before exhaling. Try it.”

           As Madeline tries it, she notices a dog-walker approaching along the pathway. She quickly hides the joint behind her back.

           “This is so embarrassing,” she says.

           “Relax,” says Dalton. “It’s legal now, you know.”

           “Still,” she says.

           She watches the dog-walker pass. His poodle prances along the path like a show horse. The man is wearing a Boston Red Sox ball cap with the peak pointed backwards towards his neck. He nods at Madeline and she smiles back.

           “Take another drag,” says Dalton. “Hold your breath longer this time.”